My Old Ass is a reverse The Kid-meets-The Call with a twist of The Time Traveler’s Wife that starts out as a queer summer fling and ends up a predictable, heteronormative romantic comedy.
#MyOldAss #MovieReview #Comedy #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/05/03/my-old-ass/

“2002” knows the words but not the music. In the chorus, singer/songwriter Anne-Marie namechecks several late 90s-early 2000s hit singles without understanding what it was that made them hits in the first place — namely, hooks.
#2002 #AnneMarie #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/05/02/2002/

A Minecraft Movie is pretty mediocre. This automatically makes it the greatest video game-based film ever. Seriously. In a quote-unquote genre that has set the bar so low only Barbados Slim could pass under it, not sucking means you’re the gold standard.
#AMinecraftMovie #MovieReview #Adventure #Fantasy #Comedy #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/05/01/a-minecraft-movie/

Lori McKenna’s “The Dream” is about “the kind of dream you dream to dream.” It’s also the kind of song I long to hear, with thoughtful lyrics that tell a poignant story without giving away too much.
#TheDream #LoriMcKenna #Folk #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/30/the-dream/

Kiss of the Dragon is set (and was shot on location) in Paris. It features Chinese and French characters, some of them played by Chinese and French actors. What are the odds that no one in the movie speaks either Chinese or French?
#KissoftheDragon #MovieReview #Action #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/29/kiss-of-the-dragon/

Demi Lovato’s “Tell Me You Love Me” has the kind of deceptive lyrics that only tell half the story, so you have to watch the music video to get the full picture. I’m not a fan of this approach. When you need a seven-minute short film to explain a four-minute song, it’s a signal that you should have gone back to the drawing board and worked some more on the lyrics.
#TellMeYouLoveMe #DemiLovato #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/28/tell-me-you-love-me/

If The Cable Guy and The Conjuring had a child that was much smarter than the two of them combined, that child would be Another Evil.
#AnotherEvil #MovieReview #Horror #Comedy #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/27/another-evil/

Both Steve Miller’s original and Seal’s cover of “Fly Like an Eagle” express a desire to “Feed the babies/Who don’t have enough to eat/Shoe the children/With no shoes on their feet/House the people/Livin’ in the street.” And how do they propose to achieve that? “Oh yeah, there’s a solution/I want to fly like an eagle/To the sea/Fly like an eagle/Let my spirit carry me.” For real? That's your solution?
#FlyLikeanEagle #SteveMillerBand #Seal #Rock #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/26/fly-like-an-eagle/

A Working Man is director David Ayer and star Jason Statham’s attempt to replicate the success of The Beekeeper. I can’t blame them for trying, but I can fault them for fucking with the formula (to paraphrase Mike Love’s most likely apocryphal words).
#AWorkingMan #MovieReview #Action #Thriller #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/25/a-working-man/

Rock musicians have always been thin-skinned, but Paleface Swiss’s “Enough?” reaches unprecedented lows in terms of insecurity.
#Enough #PalefaceSwiss #Metal #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/24/enough/

The titular Wild Robot “represents the fusion of all human knowledge with the most powerful reasoning device ever developed by humankind,” but it can’t tell the difference between animals and human beings — presumably because, as far as this movie is concerned, there isn’t any.
#TheWildRobot #MovieReview #Animation #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/24/the-wild-robot/

I think Sabrina Carpenter’s “Bed Chem” confuses coital chemistry with synchronization, what with its allusions to simultaneous orgasms and mutual oral sex.
#BedChem #SabrinaCarpenter #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/23/bed-chem/

Despite the promising title (which turns out to be an afterthought), Horrors of the Black Museum fails to deliver in every conceivable way. Not only does it not even scratch the surface; it places a lid over the surface and scratches that instead.
#HorrorsoftheBlackMuseum #MovieReview #Horror #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/22/horrors-of-the-black-museum/

If Christina Aguilera’s “Genie in a Bottle” is the musical equivalent of a purity ring, this ill-conceived, antiseptic cover by Dove Cameron is akin to a leather-and-iron chastity belt.
#GenieinaBottle #DoveCameron #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/22/genie-in-a-bottle/

Boys and Girls is the kind of story of which you say, ‘it’s a long story,’ to avoid talking about it, even if it’s actually a very short story: Boy meets girl. Girl and boy bicker. Lather, rinse, repeat ad nauseam.
#BoysandGirls #MovieReview #Comedy #Romance #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/20/boys-and-girls/

Miley Cyrus’s “On a Roll” reminds me of Krusty the Clown asking the Red Hot Chili Peppers to tone down their lyrics, and I mean that in a good way.
#OnaRoll #MileyCyrus #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/19/on-a-roll/

Angel of Death (original title: Semana Santa) is set and was shot on location in Sevilla, Spain, during the week leading up to Easter. There isn’t much in the way of local color, though. The filmmakers threw in some bullfighting stuff because that’s what Spanish people do, right?
#AngelofDeath #MovieReview #Thriller #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/18/angel-of-death/

Edgar Allan Poe’s haunting, gothic masterpiece “The Raven” put a bird on a bust and the pussy on a pedestal. Lou Reed’s gritty reworking went too far in the opposite direction, turning the poem into a case of sour grapes. Two wrongs don’t make a right (not that the original really needed to be righted).
#TheRaven #LouReed #Rock #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/18/the-raven/

The final scene renders the entire premise moot, raising the question, what the hell was the point? Why the fuck was I watching this shit to begin with?
#WhatNoOneKnows #MovieReview #Drama #Film
https://ninetypercentcrapmoviereviews.wordpress.com/2025/04/17/what-no-one-knows/

Miley Cyrus went from wanting to know the object of her affection personally to wanting to know the object of her desire biblically. Then again, doesn’t everyone? The difference is that most people don’t make that transition in the public eye, and of those who do, few have established a symbiotic exhibitionist-voyeur relationship with their audience quite like Miley has.
#BangMeBox #MileyCyrus #Pop #Song #Lyrics #Analysis
https://songreading.wordpress.com/2025/04/15/bang-me-box/