"Wanna try my new security system?"
"Why not?"
"Try to open the door."
[AI Voice:] "In order to open the door, you'll need to provide an ass print."
"An ass print?"
"Yes. Have you ever heard of anybody stealing another person's ass? That's foolproof."
"How do I do this."
"You drop your pants and moon the sensor over there."
[AI Voice:] "Ass print acquired. ... Ass indeterminate. Please provide a fecal sample."
"Shit, I've not implemented that bit yet."