Warped Tour Girl, Part II
All I could think about during the Like Roses, Grayscale, Microwave, Mayday Parade show was how my tit sweat and my ball sweat were merging into one. It was like an episode of Sean Evans Hot Ones except it was bands instead of peppers and also we weren’t eating them, just watching them. Each band was, like, the next step up in the pepper lineup, and no matter how you interpret that, you’re correct. Whether that means each subsequent band was more intense, whether that means each subsequent band was more interactive, whether that means each subsequent band was physically hotter temperature wise.
Then, as a Vans Warped Tour interview with Mayday Parade previewed their set, I remembered that I fucked with their social media before. But last time I did that, I was guessing. I was imagining. I’m not a girl, I never went to Warped Tour, I only had my god given talent of bullshit to rely on.
But tonight, I don’t need to bullshit. I don’t need to imagine. Because I heard it with my own eyes. This is what a Warped Tour girl would say about tonight’s Mayday Parade show.
……….
These opening bands are so good. I can’t believe Carly from work (because we’re old now, remember. Warped Tour was centuries ago) would miss this. Go grab me a beer. Oh my god it’s so hot. What are those tattoos? They’re so weird. Are you ok? AHHHHHHHHH. /Well I thought that we could sit around and talk for hours. About things I couldn’t say to you. And things that we could never do. And this conversation has had no face. When the words take days. You can re-write and erase anything/
……….
Something like that. Now, my tattoos are weird; I am paraphrasing a little bit; and literally everyone in the audience literally sang every word to literally every song.
Literally. If it wasn’t so hot, it would have sent a shiver down my spine. But instead, that was just back sweat making it’s journey to my ass crack.
From the perspective of this sold out crowd of Warped Tour Girls (and guys), it was a must see show. From my perspective, the realisation that I could relate to the general emo vibe was… something. And from the perspective of the bands, it was probably really nice not having to sing every lyric.
And then on my way home, I got to be all emo about it. Carly.
Don’t forget to buy Carly some stupid shirts!
