How Could We Feel Hurt If We Didn’t First Feel Love?

Like the rest of America, I’ve been considering the ethical nature of the choices made by Gypsy Rose. Her story resonates with me, and I think with others, because those closest to her caused so much harm and she took a stand in an extremely dramatic and violent way. Both she and her mother invoke feelings of rejection, frustration, anger, sadness, forgiveness, injustice, and vengeance.

While on completely different levels, we all understand at least some of those feelings in some way or another. Many of us have faced an abuser, many of us have faced family difficulties, many of us have had to mold ourselves in the image that our parents wanted for themselves.

Growth is something that, in my opinion, Gypsy Rose wasn’t able to experience. She was trapped, and when we are unable to flourish and are repressed, it’s possible we begin to make decisions that don’t turn out well and at times have consequences that are lasting in ways we may have never expected.

Another captivating aspect of her story is how we often assign the roles of villain and hero to her. We are captivated because it echoes our own struggle with ethical values. We grapple to make sense of this, and as a result, we are drawn to stories like these that resonate with our emotions and make us ponder and question our own judgment.

My family will always bring a smile and a tug at my heart simultaneously. This is not a post about anything I hold against them, on the contrary. Oftentimes, it’s so easy to still love those that hurt us so deeply, to feel the effects of their harm and still feel what we perceive or hope or perhaps even is Love.

While looking through my 250,000+ pictures, I saw these pictures form a road trip from 21 years ago, and I love these. While I have deep feelings of frustration towards my grandfather for being a Jehovah’s Witness elder and guiding the family as a patriarch into the religion long before I was born, I also saw him as a loving grandfather, someone who loved adventure, someone who loved to study and research and grow, someone who dreamed and taught me how to be passionate. I’m thankful that I have beautiful memories that preceded the pain I feel today.

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Navigating emotions in today’s digital world presents unique challenges and opportunities. I remember a time when I was reluctant to buy a mobile phone, viewing it as a nuisance. The idea of being reachable at all times seemed unnecessary. Buying a computer was a major family event. Today, life without the internet is almost unimaginable. I now have a dedicated mobile phone, laptop, and iPad, to myself and not to mention our TV and computer.

The internet has woven itself into every aspect of our lives, influencing how we communicate, learn, and interact with the world. Having spent half of my life with the internet and the other half without it, I often reflect on whether I miss the old days. Has the internet been the best thing in my life, or has it introduced challenges that mess with my mind?

Advantages

1. Fast Communication

The ability to communicate instantly with anyone, anywhere in the world, is one of the internet’s most significant benefits. I remember when my father traveled for work, we couldn’t reach him until he called us from his office. Now, I can contact my husband at any time, even when he’s on his way home. Writing letters used to take days or weeks, but now I can ping friends in seconds. This ease of communication helps me in navigating emotions, especially anxiety, as you know help or companionship is just a few seconds away.

2. Access to Learning Resources

Before the internet, my learning was confined to the available classes in my neighbourhood. Now, the internet has opened up a world of possibilities. I can learn anything, anytime, from anywhere. Whether it’s drawing, blogging, cooking, or health tips, the sky is the limit. I’ve always struggled with reading books, but YouTube and other video classes have helped me understand things better through visual representation. This has immensely enriched my learning experience, making it one of the internet’s biggest advantages.

3. Self Expression and Support Groups

Here I am, writing my blog…. The internet has provided a platform for me to express my talents—writing, drawing, acting and more. What was once restricted to family and a few friends can now be shared with anyone interested. This expression has connected me with like-minded individuals, helping me realize I am not alone in facing life’s challenges.

4. UPI and Online Shopping

UPI UPI UPI…. Another amazing invention. Unified Payments Interface (UPI) has revolutionized how we handle money. I used to lose my pocket money frequently, but now with UPI, I don’t have to carry cash around. With UPI its become so easy, just scan and pay… I can make payments easily and securely in a big mall or even to a street vendors. Online shopping adds another layer of convenience; I can buy a table while lying in bed watching a movie on my iPad. This ease of transaction brings immense peace of mind.

5. Simplified Government processes

What once required standing in long lines for hours and making multiple trips to government offices can now often be done online. Although there are still some bugs and issues, the overall process has become much more streamlined and less stressful.

6. Remote Work

This more than internet, I think is a more a creation of Covid. There are advantages and disadvantages of working remotely. Personally for me, it allows me to work from home, reducing almost 3hrs of traveling. This helps in saving time and energy to focus on more important tasks, work related and otherwise. I can attend an online meeting while completing my daily walk.

While remote work has been largely driven by COVID-19, the internet has made it feasible. Personally, it allows me to work from home, saving nearly three hours of daily commute. This has helped me in saving time and energy to focus on more important tasks, work related and otherwise. I can attend an online meetings while completing my daily walks. It has overall helped in enhancing my productivity and well-being.

7. Entertainment

Netflix, Amazon Prime, YouTube… We are just spoilt for choices. Anytime I am creatively stuck and need some inspiration… YouTube.. want to challenge myself with a horror movie, form political opinions, get an insight into a celebrity’s life or just chill.. No matter what there’s always a show for you. Feeling down… Alexa play inspirational Indian movie songs. Want to workout.. Siri play my Koothu playlist.. Virtual assistance for random chats and requests!

Dis-Advantages

1. Navigating emotions That Impact Self Esteem and constant comparison with others.

In the past, I only had to deal with my parents comparing me to my friends and my friends teasing me…. Now, with social media its gotten a thousand times worse. Trolling, negative comments, can spiral me into self-doubt fest and then you see your friends and colleagues, partying and posing in front of Eiffel Tower, it just makes you feel worse. Seeing others’ seemingly perfect lives makes me feel worse about my own situation. Like what am I doing with my life.. Look at them they are so happy… It’s really made navigating emotions more challenging, warping our sense of what it means to be happy.

2. Addictive

Reels and shorts… as if social media couldn’t have gotten worse…. It just got more addictive. You start seeing one, just one more and on and on and the next thing you know an hour has gone by… What!!! Damn it now I am running behind my schedule.. Feeling depressed because I now have a lot to catch up…. so well let me watch some reels to feel better.. Its easier to stop eating ice cream than to stop watching these short videos! Navigating emotions… what emotions?

3. Sleep Deprivation

The inevitable… With the whole day lost, now you have to stay up till late to finish work and then to relax, again watch more reels. Before you fall asleep… its the next morning!

4. More Isolated with less people to people interactions

While the internet allows for virtual socializing, it can also lead to physical isolation. Given my social anxiety, I often use the internet as an excuse to avoid in-person interactions. While it’s easier in the short term, it’s not beneficial in the long run. Meeting people face-to-face, despite initial nervousness, usually leaves me feeling more connected and uplifted.

Conclusion

The internet has brought more positive changes to my life than negative ones. And even the negative side of it is more about you making up your mind! If I ever miss the old days or feel overwhelmed by the digital world, all I need to do is SWITCH OFF.. Myself from the devices and SWITCH ON, physically engaging with the world around me! Navigating emotions in a digital world or otherwise starts with achieving the balance between online and offline interactions, thereby enjoying the best of both worlds. It’s all about your mind being incharge of the digital world, rather than the other way around!

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