#SocialBlindness

R.L. Dane :Debian: :OpenBSD: 🍵rl_dane@polymaths.social
2025-04-15

@thedoctor @amin @jlw_the_jobber @solusspider @orbitalmartian

This is true. And while I people very well in specific domains where there is a set structure (which may actually make me a good manager in certain contexts), I definitely don't know how to people well in general.

For one thing, it kinda sucks when my brain:

  1. Likes to forget that people exist (#ADHD object impermanence)
  2. Always assumes that people are angry/disappointed at me (#RSD / #RejectionSensitivityDysphoria)
  3. Does a poor job of picking up on social cues (#SocialBlindness)

Fortunately, I don't have a severe case of most of these, except for the second one, which is pretty awful.

Also, while I don't like harping on "my story" (because so many have gone through so much worse), I did go through a very "Twilight Zone"-esque experience where I found all of my friends to be, well... nazis or political zombies, depending on how you want to look at it. Of course, that was preceded by about half a decade by an experience of abuse and rejection in my personal life which was pretty terrible, so I'm generally a bit f'd-up in the head when it comes to "peopling."

But I'd still like to improve. I don't live in my past. It's not a happy place, and past me isn't someone I have any allegiance to, in terms of spending emotional energy re-living.

I think there's a lot of freedom in that mindset, honestly. I sure as heck spent enough years chained to the hurts of the past. That's no freaking way to live.

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