#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Again, secure your cellphone so no one else can access it.
> 'You're going to pay': Woman sliced boyfriend with machete after fight at Texas Roadhouse, police say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/youre-going-to-pay-woman-sliced-boyfriend-with-machete-after-fight-at-texas-roadhouse-police-say/
#crime #GreatRomancesOfOurTime #AmoresQueMatan #FloridaWoman #Floriduh
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Tipping your local friendly "human relations specialist"? Good.
Not securing your mobile phone to prevent others from opening and going through it? Bad.
> Enraged girlfriend chucked knife at man's head over $5 mobile payment to 'female friend': Police https://lawandcrime.com/crime/enraged-girlfriend-chucked-knife-at-mans-head-over-5-mobile-payment-to-female-friend-police/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you are having an affair, do NOT flaunt it, certainly not on Tik Tok or other #SocialMedia.
Also, #TIL some states have a "Jolene" law (i.e. you can sue the "homewrecker" in civil court).
> ‘Homewrecker’ TikTok influencer ordered to pay $1.75M for destroying manager’s marriage under ‘Jolene’ law: report https://nypost.com/2025/11/12/us-news/homewrecker-influencer-brenay-kennard-sued-under-north-carolinas-jolene-law/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: You may be hot, you may be badass, but if you want to live longer, maybe stay off #SocialMedia and cut back the bragging.
> Hot Mexican hitwoman murdered after gun collection boasting https://torontosun.com/news/world/hot-mexican-hitwoman-murdered-after-gun-collection-boasting
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Pay cash for #CashIsKing and won't be declined.
> 'Broke b—': Woman at Kids Foot Locker stabs teen with kitchen knife after getting roasted over her card being declined, cops say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/broke-b-woman-at-kids-foot-locker-stabs-teen-with-kitchen-knife-after-getting-roasted-over-her-card-being-declined-cops-say/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: If you're robbing the place, rob the place. Do the sex later elsewhere. And FFS, do NOT remove your masks until AFTER the heist.
> ‘Modern-day Bonnie and Clyde’ caught on camera having sex at popular Arizona eatery before robbing the joint https://nypost.com/2025/10/27/us-news/modern-day-bonnie-and-clyde-caught-on-camera-having-sex-at-popular-arizona-eatery-before-robbing-the-joint/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Again, if you do the #crime don't go bringing it up on #SocialMedia.
> 'Her bad decision landed her in jail': Florida woman charged with credit card theft after identifying herself in social media post, sheriff says https://lawandcrime.com/crime/her-bad-decision-landed-her-in-jail-florida-woman-charged-with-credit-card-theft-after-identifying-herself-in-social-media-post-sheriff-says/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: No, hiding in the back seat of a car is not good enough to avoid the po-po. (We already addressed previously not using #SocialMedia to brag about your crimes.)
> TikTokker who went viral for bragging about stealing from Target arrested again https://nypost.com/2025/10/15/us-news/viral-tiktokker-marlena-velez-is-arrested-again/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: #CashIsKing. Do not use pay services, credit cards, or other identifiable and traceable payments to rent your vehicular weapon.
> 'This was an ambush': Man who killed 15-year-old girl outside seafood restaurant used mother's Apple Pay account to rent Dodge Durango used to pin victims in, deputies say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/this-was-an-ambush-man-who-killed-15-year-old-girl-outside-seafood-restaurant-used-mothers-apple-pay-account-to-rent-dodge-durango-used-to-pin-victims-in-deputies-say/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Oh honey, he is your EX for a reason. Should've let it go.
> Woman was 'irate' after ex didn't go to Lil Wayne concert with her, so she set his house ablaze: Police https://lawandcrime.com/crime/woman-was-irate-after-ex-didnt-go-to-lil-wayne-concert-with-her-so-she-set-his-house-ablaze-police/
> 'I still got it in me': Man kills former classmate right after high school reunion by shooting 40 rounds, then boasts to friend about it, cops say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/i-still-got-it-in-me-man-kills-former-classmate-right-after-high-school-reunion-by-shooting-40-rounds-then-boasts-to-friend-about-it-cops-say/
1. Skip high school reunions. Just not worth it.
2. If you do the #crime, don't brag about it on the phone, more so if you are calling into a prison where calls are monitored.
Cleaning up the scene, taking a shower after doing a murder or other crime? Good.
Not showering thoroughly? Bad.
> Woman showered, cleaned up scene after murdering boyfriend but opened the door with blood on face when cops showed up: Affidavit https://lawandcrime.com/crime/woman-showered-cleaned-up-scene-after-murdering-boyfriend-but-opened-the-door-with-blood-on-face-when-cops-showed-up-affidavit/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: In the words of the immortal Tuco: "When you have to shoot, shoot; don't talk." Queue the music.
> 'Come get shot': Woman drove by police department threatening to throw Molotov cocktails, authorities say
https://lawandcrime.com/crime/come-get-shot-woman-drove-by-police-department-threatening-to-throw-molotov-cocktails-authorities-say/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Sure, breaking the law and speeding as a government official can be thrilling. However, DO NOT post about it on #SocialMedia and FFS don't add a hashtag.
> Turkey Transport Minister Gets Speeding Fine Over Social Media Post
https://www.barrons.com/news/turkey-transport-minister-gets-speeding-fine-over-social-media-post-d974e273?refsec=topics_afp-news
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: revenge may be pleasing and satisfying but don't go bragging about it on #SocialMedia
> 'Heart is pleased and satisfied': TikToker gushes over killing former co-worker who owed him $31K, tells followers to 'never move on' without taking revenge, cops say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/heart-is-pleased-and-satisfied-tiktoker-gushes-over-killing-former-co-worker-who-owed-him-31k-tells-followers-to-never-move-on-without-taking-revenge-cops-say/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Just got out of the pokey? Need a ride? DO NOT steal a car, especially a government car.
> Dim-witted crook back in jail for allegedly swiping government car 2 hours after release from Louisiana lockup https://nypost.com/2025/08/14/us-news/crook-back-in-jail-for-allegedly-swiping-government-car-2-hours-after-leaving-louisiana-lockup/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: We don't kink shame, but FFS dude, what is your major malfunction? Jeebus on a cracker.
> 'Goo goo ga ga': Man wearing diaper with pacifier around neck confronts girls at elementary school and asks if they will 'change' him, cops say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/goo-goo-ga-ga-man-wearing-diaper-with-pacifier-around-neck-confronts-girls-at-elementary-school-and-asks-if-they-will-change-him-cops-say/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: To quote that famous writer, neither a lender nor a borrower be. . .
> 'Setting the front door on fire': Woman poured gasoline on man's home and lit it because he owed her $7, authorities say https://lawandcrime.com/crime/setting-the-front-door-on-fire-woman-poured-gasoline-on-mans-home-and-lit-it-because-he-owed-her-7-authorities-say/
#crime 🔥
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Keep your wits and common sense about you, and FFS, plan and think ahead of any contingency.
> Brothel Manager Exposes The Most “Stupid” Ways Men Get Caught By Their Partners https://www.boredpanda.com/brothel-manager-reveals-how-men-get-caught/
#TipsFromMasterCriminals: Watching porn? Fine we do not shame here. However, DO NOT do it at work and FFS do not display it during the online meeting. WTF is wrong with you?
