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Quote of the day, 28 April: Blessed Chiquitunga

During her postulancy at the Carmel of Asunción, Blessed Maria Felicia of the Blessed Sacrament (Chiquitunga) passed through a dark night that tested her vocation.

After a month of “heaven” in her new Carmelite life, during Lent of 1955, Sister Maria Felicia began to feel profound insecurity about her choice, made against the advice of almost everyone she knew. She thought: Wasn’t my decision to enter a cloistered monastery simply an act of self-will?—an opinion expressed strongly by the newly appointed Auxiliary Bishop of Asunción, Monsignor Ramón Bogarín.

From this insecurity came the fear that she had taken the wrong path; the fear produced deep spiritual dryness; and from all of this arose the obsessive temptation: I must leave the cloister… and if I don’t, it’s because I’m a coward.

The community confessor, the same one who had actively resisted her entrance into Carmel, pressured her to decide once and for all. Finally, on 9 August, Sister Maria Felicia made her decision—to leave. She recounts it herself:

Today, I was resolved to leave, but with the anguish of bearing the cross of my infidelity without any merit. The confessor flatly told me to say whether I was leaving or staying. I told him I would leave. A coldness of death came over me, an anguish so deep it even choked back my tears (Spiritual Diary, C, folio 15).

Before giving her final word, Sister Maria Felicia suggested they cast lots—and the confessor, eager to settle the matter once and for all, agreed. Accompanied by the Prioress at that supreme moment, they prayed before the Blessed Sacrament and placed two folded papers at the feet of a statue of Mary.

Sister Maria Felicia drew one. The confessor opened it. It read: I want to die in Carmel.

Immediately, she cried out, convinced and determined: Jesus, my Jesus! Yes, this is Your will.

At the same time, she experienced her weakness and poverty: You see my weaknesses, my cowardice, my fears, my miseries! Alone I can do nothing!

She entrusted everything to the Lord: Jesus, into Your hands I entrust my vocation!

She knew that only He could give her the strength needed to overcome herself, for at times: The weight of Your will is so heavy that I would rather die! I fear sacrifice, I fear the Cross. Help me, Blessed Virgin! Little Jesus of Prague, miracle worker of my vocation! (Spiritual Diary, C, folios 15–16).

Supported by this conviction, trust, and surrender, she renewed the offering she had made from her early youth:

Father! My Father, God of my life. My nothingness—so truly Yours—I offer it back to You today, not knowing how many times I will yet snatch it away again, desperately kicking and screaming to do my own will and not Yours.

In reality, she had never truly withdrawn her will from God. The anguish before the Cross is not a rebellion—just as it was not rebellion in Jesus at Gethsemane.

Still, she renewed her complete surrender:

Here I am, Lord! Your will! But aided by Your strength, Your love, and Your mercy, my God!

Thus, even in the midst of the “dark night,” without emerging from it, in faith, hope, and love, God’s will triumphed.

The Carmelite postulant had died to herself, united to the death of Christ.

Father Julio Félix Barco, o.c.d.

Enseñanzas desde el Carmelo (Lessons from Carmel)

Monte Carmelo 2018, Enseñanzas desde el Carmelo. De los escritos de María Felicia de Jesús Sacramentado-Chiquitunga, no. 1, vol. 126, Monte Carmelo, Burgos. Available at: https://bcd.digicarmel.com (Accessed: 26 April 2025). Licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial 4.0 International.

Translation from the Spanish text is the blogger’s own work product and may not be reproduced without permission.

Featured image: Blessed Maria Felicia of the Blessed Sacrament—Chiquitunga—on the day of her clothing in the Carmelite habit, 14 August 1955. Image credit: Discalced Carmelites (Used by permission).

⬦ Reflection Question ⬦
Where in my life is Christ asking me to entrust everything to Him, even when I cannot see the way forward?
⬦ Join the conversation in the comments.

#anguish #BlessedMariaFeliciaOfJesusInTheBlessedSacrament #Chiquitunga #darkNight #discernment #lottery #mercy #postulant #willOfGod

Quote of the day, 13 April: St. Louis Martin

My incomparable Father,

What Céline tells us is so like you! Ah, what a father we have! Truly, you are one of a kind… and so I’m not surprised that God is calling all your children to Himself, this father who cannot be matched! You are so precious to His heart that He cannot help but look upon you—and all who are yours—with a love beyond compare.

How our dear mother [St. Zélie] must be smiling down at you. How joyful she must be to see her little boat so well steered by you, guiding us all toward heaven.

O best of fathers, how great our responsibility will be if we do not become saints—if we do not follow in the path of your generosity. Ah, how Jesus will repay you a hundredfold for the lily you offer Him today—barely opened, yet full of freshness and purity.

Oh, your crown in heaven! My beloved Father, I see it already—radiant and beautiful. Ah, pray that your diamond not be too pale beside such glory.

I can say no more. You fill my heart—I am entirely yours.
Our Mother [Prioress Marie de Gonzague, O.C.D.] couldn’t help but weep as she read Céline’s account.
Ah! What a father you are!!

Sister Marie of the Sacred Heart, O.C.D.
(Marie Martin)

Letter from Sr. Marie of the Sacred Heart to her father, St. Louis Martin, 9 April 1888

St. Thérèse crosses the threshold of the cloister, a later watercolor
Photo: Archives of the Carmel of Lisieux
Visit the Archives site to see the annotated sketch for this watercolor and all of the artworks associated with the life of St. Thérèse.

Note: St. Thérèse entered the Carmel of Lisieux on the Feast of the Annunciation, which was deferred to Monday, April 9 in the year 1888 because March 25 was Palm Sunday of the Passion of the Lord.

We always refer to the website of the Archives of the Carmel of Lisieux for the vast majority of our quotes concerning Saint Thérèse, Saint Zélie, and Saint Louis Martin. If you would like to purchase English translations for the collected works of St. Thérèse, please visit the website of our Discalced Carmelite friars at ICS Publications.

Translation from the French text is the blogger’s own work product and may not be reproduced without permission.

Featured image: St. Thérèse outside the Lisieux Carmel. Image credit: Fr. Lawrence Lew, O.P. / Flickr (Some rights reserved)

⬦ Reflection Question ⬦
What can you offer God this Holy Week with purity, generosity, and love?
⬦ Join the conversation in the comments.

#CarmelOfLisieux #familyLife #generosity #MarieMartin #MarieOfTheSacredHeart #postulant #religiousLife #StLouisMartin #StThérèseOfLisieux #vocations

I am the happiest person with my vocation and never tire of thanking God for having brought me to this little corner of heaven.

I live for God alone. My sole concern is to know Him that I may love Him more. I have begun the life of heaven here on earth, a life invented and thought of by God through all eternity; a life of love alone and of ceaseless praise.

If you could see but for an instant what’s in the soul of this Carmelite postulant, you’d understand the happiness of living always near the tabernacle. Alone with Him in His aloneness, I am there at the chapel grates or in my humble cell.

There is nothing between Him and His creature now. I hear His divine voice always. I gaze on always and contemplate His infinite beauty. I feel always the beating of my God’s Heart, begging me for love because He knows that love contains everything: sacrifice and souls.

Sister dear, without doubt, as Jesus Himself said to Magdalene, He has chosen for me “the best part.” A Carmelite is to be concerned with her God alone. She’s to live, no longer on earth, but in God. She is to move and to work and to breathe far from people, far from earthly things. We are to remember the world but only in order to pray for it and for people but without letting ourselves be influenced by them, without breathing in their impure atmosphere.

Jesus has imprisoned me here to unite Himself with me, nothing disturbing this gaze, this vision of this adorable Face of His which one day I shall possess in its fullness there in heaven. I often imagine that I am like a queen; for while others serve the King in the apostolate of action, I, like a queen, am by His side, listening to Him, contemplating Him, praying together with Him, and joining Him in His own suffering. He exchanges His own feelings with my own, by divinizing them. He surrounds me with His divine light, beautifying my soul with His teachings.

Oh, how good is this Jesus to me, His poor creature. He does not want to be separated from me for a moment. He seeks comfort and rest in my soul. He has made me like unto Himself by transforming me into a host.

Yes, a Carmelite is a host who carries Jesus within herself. She is not the one acting. It is He. He sacrifices her, offers her up in silence, just as He sacrifices and immolates Himself silently on the altar. She prays always with Jesus at the altar; she saves souls but by looking to Jesus. She sheds her heart’s blood by denying herself in all things. She has sacrificed everything for Jesus.

Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes

Letter 141 to Amelia Montt Martinez (excerpt)
October 1919

Griffin, M D & Teresa of the Andes, S 2023, The Letters of Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes, ICS Publications, Washington DC.

Featured image: Image credit for the photo of St. Teresa of the Andes goes to the Discalced Carmelites.

https://carmelitequotes.blog/2024/10/20/andes-ltr141/

#CarmelOfLosAndes #contemplativeLife #happiness #Jesus #postulant #prayer #StTeresaOfTheAndes #vocation

J.M.J.T.

May the peace of Jesus reign in your soul, my dear little sister:

I have your two letters, which I enjoyed so much, but the time here in Carmel goes by without our even knowing it. That’s why I hadn’t been able to answer your letters.

You can’t imagine how much I’ve enjoyed your letters. They have shown me more about your generosity to God. But what pleased me most were the words in which you told me that you were praying that you, too, might obtain the happiness I enjoy.

What could make my heart more happy than to have you belong entirely to Our Lord! For now, I ask only that His Divine Will may be accomplished in you. You, too, should pray for that alone.

You ask me to tell you my schedule, but I still don’t know it well; because the one thing I know how to do is to keep myself with my Jesus. I’ve forgotten all the rest.

Our Lord has been spoiling me. Think how good He is! I sleep on a hard wooden plank bed. The mattress I brought I haven’t even used, and happily they gave me a straw one and everything just like my Sisters. Imagine that on the first night my dear Mother thought that I couldn’t sleep with the pillow, since it was so hard, and she had me change it. And I had been so happy, hugging it. Then I had to change it, but later they gave it back to me.

In my cell I’m always sitting on the floor, and now I’m writing you that way. I’m very good at it.

In the morning I really have to work hard to get ready, since they give us only fifteen minutes. The first time I went out with my cape pulled to one side and with my veil to the other side, not knowing how to put it on; and everything else the same way. My Sisters helped me [her postulant’s habit was similar to that of St. Thérèse of Lisieux].

The second day I pulled a trick; I woke up at five, got dressed to the underskirt and laid down. When they sounded the bell, I put on the rest of my things and was the first to go out to sing the wake-up greeting which goes like this: “Praised be Our Lord Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary, His Mother. Arise for prayer, Sisters, and praise the Lord.” But after all that I couldn’t sing the greeting because I didn’t know where to do it. What a shame.

I get into trouble at meal times, too, since the spoons are wooden, and the forks very small and narrow. It takes me a long time to eat and I have to do it after the others; but this is nice, since while my sisters are in the dining room, I stay in the choir with Our Lord, three-quarters of an hour. I really enjoy it.

That’s the time when my Jesus sends you many graces and gifts that your Carmelite sister is begging for you. During the Divine Office, I imagine that I’m in heaven. It’s also the most precious time of all. We recite the Office four times a day. The funniest thing is that my Sister novice has to pull my sleeve to remind me to genuflect like all the others.

We have a dog that’s very nice. Molzuc is his name. He’s silver color and very big. We’re great friends. My Mother introduced me to him. She gave me some bread to give him. The best part is that in the beginning, he’s always fierce with everyone, but with me he’s a big softie [One nun remarked, “Look, even the dogs love her.”].

On Sundays, at recreation, they play music. They have guitars, bandurrias, etc. We have a good time at recreation, laughing and kidding the whole time with our Sisters.

The assignment I’m going to have is to be the gardener. What a wreck I’ll probably make! I wish you could get some little carnations from my aunt Teresa to plant, because there are very few here. The other day I went with Rev. Mother to trim the rose bushes.

You can’t say my letter isn’t newsy. I’ll say goodbye for now.

Live with Our Lord in the depths of your soul. Adore Him there, and offer Him everything you’re about to do at every moment, doing it all with love. May the two of us, my dear sister, be a continuing melody of love for our good Jesus. Let’s refuse Him nothing. One who really loves, keeps nothing back for self.

Show this letter to Elenuca [Elena Salas González, one of Teresa’s closest friends] because it’s for her, too. Tell her that Our Lord will repay her for this poor Carmelite; that I’ll write her one of these days if I get a little time.

Behave yourselves very well at school so that you can become Daughters of Mary [similar to the “Children of Mary” association at the Abbey School in Lisieux].

Hello to every one of my Sisters [teachers at the boarding school]; and tell them I haven’t forgotten them in my poor prayers. The same goes for the other girls.

Bye for now. Let’s live immersed in that Divine Spirit so that we may remain united. Love and kisses for my dear Daddy, Mommy, and every one of my brothers and sisters, and for my beautiful niece.

Always united in J.M.J.T., your unworthy

Teresa of Jesus, Carmelite

Regards to my governess and to everyone.

Saint Teresa of the Andes

Letter 98 to her sister Rebecca
Tuesday, 13 May 1919

Original Carmel of Los Andes facade
Original Carmel of Los Andes chapel
Original Carmel of Los Andes cloister
Original Carmel of Los Andes shrine

Griffin, M D & Teresa of the Andes, S 2023, The Letters of Saint Teresa of Jesus of the Andes, ICS Publications, Washington DC.

Featured image: Detail from the last photo taken of St. Teresa of the Andes, where she is embroidering a purificator. Image credit: Discalced Carmelites

Slideshow images: Cloister garden and shrine by Philippus021 via Wikimedia Commons (Some rights reserved). Monastery facade by Carlos yo via Wikimedia Commons (Some rights reserved). Chapel interior by Carlos Figueroa Rojas via Wikimedia Commons (Some rights reserved).

https://carmelitequotes.blog/2024/07/12/andes-ltr98/

#CarmelOfLosAndes #CarmeliteHabit #DiscalcedCarmelite #family #monasticLife #Music #novitiate #photography #postulant #prayer #recreation