Some places just have a way of pulling you in, making everything else fade into the background.
For me, that place is my old church. It’s funny because I don’t even go to church anymore—not after overhearing some conversations that really cut deep. Those moments made me question a lot about who I am, both in this world and in my faith. It sent me on a journey of introspection, helping me to understand my identity in a new light, as a person and in relation to Jesus.
Still, there’s something about that church that keeps drawing me back. But not during the usual Sunday services or busy events—that just feels too heavy. I really only visit when something either incredible or terrible is happening, I go when it’s quiet, during funerals, or really wild like a wedding when I can slip away unnoticed.
I walk through the dark, empty halls and the gym I grew up playing dodgeball and laser tag in, and suddenly, it’s like the world slows down. I’m left alone with my thoughts and the memories that live in those walls.
Vivid Memories in the Quiet
Whenever I walk through those dimly lit halls, it’s like the memories come alive—so vivid, they almost feel more real than the present.
It’s like my usual recollections are suddenly on overdrive, letting me practically relive the experiences. I can’t help but crack a smile when I pass the spot where I broke my foot.
I was 12, and I smacked it on the ladder in the hallway when I was playing church wide flag tag with some buddies during a kids club event. That hurt like crazy. And that room down the hall? It used to be a library, where I rented my first books and my all-time favorite DVD, Lenny and Sid—a Christian mouse and his buddy trying to make sense of the world.
These little details come rushing back with such intensity that it’s like I’m stepping back into those moments. I can see the DVD cover, I can feel the sweat from running the halls.
They remind me of simpler times, when life was about discovering new stories and pretty much nothing else. Revisiting these memories in the silence brings a kind of unexpected peace, reminding me that these moments—both big and small—have shaped who I am today.
Finding Sacred Space in Solitude
Faith is deeply personal, and for me, it’s in these quiet, solitary moments that I feel most connected to Jesus. I don’t preach at a pulpit, and I don’t necessarily love the modern day church. But this empty church, with its worn pews and quiet corners, becomes a sacred space where I can truly listen. There’s no noise, no pressure—just me, my thoughts, and a sense of something greater.
Sometimes, to really hear and connect, you have to step into the quiet, into the dark. But it’s not a heavy darkness—it’s comforting, like a warm blanket that wraps around you, giving you space to breathe and just be. It’s in these moments that I feel closest to my faith and to myself.
God’s Little Sprinkles
When I walk, I’m reminded that the light is always there, even if I can’t see it. “God’s little sprinkles” are what I used to call those moments. Small, sweet, and just enough to remind you of the better parts of your time here. Life’s challenges and dark moments are part of the journey making moments of clarity and peace that much more meaningful. This place, once filled with darkness for me, has become a source of light—not because the darkness is gone, but because I’ve learned to find the light within it.
For me, this journey is marked by the life, death, and resurrection of Jesus. But I know that isn’t the same for everyone. Whatever your faith or belief system may be, there’s something incredibly powerful about connecting with your higher power—whatever that looks like for you.
It’s a beautiful thing when that connection helps you understand your own “I Am.”
“But when you pray, go into your room, close the door and pray to your Father, who is unseen. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you.”
Matthew 6:6
Further Reading:
- The Healing Power of Nostalgia – Psychology Today
- Finding Solitude in Sacred Spaces – Harvard Health Publishing
- The Intersection of Faith and Mental Well-Being – National Institutes of Health
https://winthenight.org/why-does-my-soul-find-peace-in-the-shadows-of-an-empty-church/
#darkness #happiness #inspiration #Jesus #lifestyle #light #religion #sadness #seeingTheLight #sprituality