i rarely talk about personal stuff on mastodon, but i think this is important
i've seen several people mentioning their mental health issues today. people who have been on medication, who've been to therapy, who've worked at getting better, and are still suffering.
over the weekend, i had my first real meltdown in six years... a combination of stress, anxiety and uncertainty about the future and my place in it. i decided nine months ago to stop attending counselling, because it had done what it was supposed to do: give me a chance to live normally. and i was.
until i wasn't, again.
sometimes we start to think the healing's over, the pain is mostly gone, or we've tried everything and it hasn't worked. i talked with my 70 year old aunt about it - a woman who has been through unbelievable trauma - and she said, "Y'know, I've come to learn that the healing journey is never over. Sometimes I think I'm healed, and then the wrong word or memory hits me, and I'm back at the start again. We just have to keep at it."
i told my wife what i was going through. i told my mom, i called my old therapist, i called my doctor, and booked appointments. i acknowledged that i needed help, again. and it sure as shit hurt to admit it to myself.
don't just tough it out. that's not healing.
#MentalHealth