Threads feels like if mastodon and Twitter had a baby

After the ordeal of choosing snack with my toddler I'm pretty sure I could negotiate with any terrorist

#parenting #toddlermom

We could be on a crashing plane and my toddler would be tantruming about not putting their own oxygen mask on.

#parenting #toddlerlife #toddlerparenting #toddlers #momdom

@tomasaschan we have had similar days today it sounds like!
Woke him up this morning to find him and his crib just covered in dry vomit 🤙

Would you rather clean up poo or vomit?

Team poo here
#parenting

HEARTBREAKING: in cleaning my house i was able to determine that cleaning my house had been possible this whole time

Dark matter is just regular matter in night mode.

Wait, so Jimmy wants a cheeseburger? Or he IS the cheeseburger?

PTSD = post-tantrum, start drinking

#parenting #toddlerlife #momlife #toddlermom

Dating profile:
Hey there! My hobbies include fishing for magnets shoved underneath the fridge and picking dog hair out of play dough

#parenting #toddlermom #singleparent

RT @inequalitymedia
NEW: The FTC proposed a ban on non-compete agreements.

This is a big deal.

~30 million workers are currently trapped by contracts with non-competes, which make it harder for them to seek other jobs in their industry with better pay or working conditions.

Where I come from, the only hills are landfills

Everyone warns you to enjoy it because "they grow so quickly" but what they don't tell you about is that you'll mourn their younger selves almost like a completely different child
#parenting

Give a man a compliment,
and you feed his ego for a day;
teach him how to fish for compliments,
and you feed his ego for a lifetime.

I think probably the best thing about the apocalypse would be the not showering

Online dating site but for just sharing streaming service passwords

If anyone's ever played #Skyrim before (or any other #RPG with inventory weight restrictions), you know the struggle of trying to decide what to keep versus toss. So I may be very late to the party in playing Skyrim in the year of our lord 2023 but here's my take on the value versus weight items chart, with some common cutoff ratios!

Interactive here: http://dev.universalities.com/skyrim_items.html

#VideoGames #Gaming #ElderScrolls #EldenRing #DataViz #dataVisualization #dataVisualisation #datascience #games

@janeadams I just used a bug in the UI to make Lydia carry everything for me.

As an aside, I remain and shall remain convinced that the "Fus Roh Dah" power exists in the game and is the first one given to you expressly to have a mechanism to get Lydia out of the damn doorway.

*screams in parentese*

#parenting

How does Valentines Day not have a grinch?

#holidays #valentinesday