I just had cataract surgery so I’m literally starting the new year with a whole new outlook. Shanah tova!

@nonelvis My intuition ranks these:
1. Hot mustard
2. Cuban sandwich
3. Tangy ketchup
Looking forward to your report.

#GeorgeSantos pleaded not guilty by reason of actually being a scientist whose botched time-travel experiment causes him to leap into the bodies of other people in different times and places. After being released on a $500,000 bond, Santos made the following statement: "Al! Al! Where are you? Al! This isn't funny! You gotta get me outta here! AAAAAAAL!"

Interviewer: Can you explain these gaps in your resume?

Me: Those are typographical indicators called spaces and line breaks that separate words and paragraphs.

Let’s be perfectly clear: The worst thing about #Dobbs was not that it was leaked.

Don't mind me, I'm just sitting here cracking up at my own dumb facts.
https://patreon.com/lowqualityfacts

Just to clarify: I am now a white woman of a certain age, not a spy/criminal mastermind...or am I?

Spies and criminal masterminds should all be white women of a certain age. Now that I am one, I find I've been issued a perception filter. I pass unnoticed almost everywhere. On the rare occasion I am barely noticed, I'm seen as totally harmless. I suspect I have a good 20 or 30 years before I start being noticed again, and then only if I look like I'm about to keel over.

Truth is stranger than fiction.

I said "Forty years ago in the 80s" and instantly lost a little bit of cartilage in my knee.

Some clothing designers seem to hear "gender neutral" and think "prison garb."

Hello Mastodon art people! I’m Julia, an illustrator and naturalist from Germany. I’ve quit all social media a few years ago because addictive algorithms, ads, infinite scrolling and tracking surveillance were killing my creativity.
Mastodon is likely the last social media experiment I’ll try. Here are some birds for you, because although I’ve left Twitter, I love drawing birds.

Edit: Since this post, I've made my home here. :-)

#introduction
#illustration #birds #watercolor #art #birb

I hate the expression "a very real possibility." As opposed to what? A very fake possibility? If something is possible, by definition it hasn't happened yet, but it's...y'know...possible. Possible already exists somewhere between unlikely and probable. What does "very real" add?

I couldn't help myself. #StarTrek #Borg #PrideAndPrejudice.

The positive take from #SpaceX sounds exactly like the spin PR flacks would come up with to disguise failure as success, and it's being credulously repeated by most news outlets, while NASA's safety record is being framed as a foolish waste of money. I can't shake the feeling that, in this story, #ElonMusk is the scorpion, and we're all the frog saying, "Sure, hop on our backs! We'll swim you across this river!" 3/3

For all I know, maybe the #Starship explosion is good news. Maybe accepting higher risk during testing is a sensible, faster, cheaper way to identify problems and develop a safe space vehicle. Unfortunately for #SpaceX, #ElonMusk has squandered every milligram of credibility he ever had, making it impossible to take any company he runs at its pollyanish word. 2/3

"Good news! Our spaceship waited 2 minutes before blowing up!" says the space company run by the guy who swears he's got the #Twitter situation under control. After all, these are uncrewed flights. Obviously they won't accept high risk when real lives are at stake. (Do not google #Tesla autopilot crashes.) #spacex #ElonMusk 1/3

Picard s3 had seven very good to excellent episodes and two that were OK, only one that was actively bad. That's a much better average than either of the first two seasons. But the first half of s3 raised my hopes that what we were going to get was an integration of the TNG cast into the mature show Picard had been in its occasional best moments of s2 and s3, so the concluding arc of self-indulgent nostalgia porn was more disappointing than the WTF conclusion of s1 was.

"Picard" as a show set out to outdo the TOS cast movies as an extended reflection on aging and death, and on living with trauma and grief. But ST2 and ST3 each had genuine loss in them. Picard s3 reenacted Kirk's ending point in ST2 without the accompanying sadness.

https://getyarn.io/yarn-clip/ed2203c1-1a92-410e-b748-1f24f3819dfc