Je n’ai plus aucun scrupule à porter mes lunettes de soleil à l’intérieur au boulot, et les collègues comprennent très bien, c’est super
#ActuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

Encore une obsession avec les chiffres : je calcule la distance que je parcours avec une barre de carburant de mon véhicule, je calcule à peu près la consommation, et derrière j’arrive à recréer mes trajets grâce à ça
#ActuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

Je crois qu’un des moments où je me rends le plus compte de mes problèmes de motricité fine, c’est quand on est en bagnole et que mon homme me demande de lui rouler une clope : je suis empotée, ça me prend 5 minutes facile, je déteste ça

#ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

@mimikama #Autismus ist keine Krankheit, auch keine chronische. :autism:
#OnTheSpectrum #autistici #autisticindividuals #autisticme

Trotzdem: Gut, dass ihr aufklärt.

Hier c'était la sortie de Noël du FSE, et pour la première fois en 3 ans j'ai participé, et même chapeauté un peu tout le truc (les consignes aux élèves, les timings, les rapports avec la patinoire et le resto, les paiements, les rdv avec le chauffeur)
La sortie était cool, ça s'est bien passé, j'ai kiffé, mais aujourd'hui j'en paie le contrecoup, j'ai le cerveau qui tourne au ralenti, je suis en pilote automatique total
Heureusement que j'ai pas d'étude à surveiller, ce serait une vraie catastrophe sinon
#AuctuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

Je crois que j'ai de moins en moins envie d'être verbale, ça me fatigue de parler, et la plupart du temps ça sert à rien
#ActuallyAutistic #ActuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

@arcadetoken First of all: Don't Panic. Try to relax. Most of us are at different stages of self-realisation. I feel comfortable being #AutisticMe, though I am only a couple of years down the path, and have a lot of baggage to dispose of. I love being a part of our #ActuallyAutistic community here.

@SleepyCatten Very, very helpful. I needed all of this, long before I ever discovered #AutisticMe I got through school with a lot of 'faking it', when oral was all that was offered.

J'adore aller en festoch, mais ça peut être tellement dur d'en profiter "physiquement" de me laisser aller à danser, d'oser prendre de la place pour ça, de bouger comme j'en ai envie, avec une motricité fine pas au top, et toujours la peur du regard es autres
Mais ça me fait sentir à quel point je peux avoir envie de me laisser porter par la musique, et faudrait que je me laisse du temps chez moi pour danser comme ça me passe par la tête
#ActuallyAutisticFr #ActuallyAutistic #AutisticMe

i lost my pencase with my two resin falcons and refill bottles and I am so distraught. At least they're easy (if costly) to replace and I have plenty of pens to go with in the meantime, but damn, the psychological impact is wild.

#fountainpens #actuallyautistic #autisticme

I just realized that I have no less than 4 different kinds of earplugs & noise protection devices with me at most times now. Some of which can be layered. 5 if I also count my regular in-ear headphones.

(One day I might splurge on ANC, but not today.)

#actuallyAutistic #autisticMe #sensoryOverwhelm #noise

Je suis frustrée, je n'arrive pas à trouver de nourriture qui me satisfasse ces jours-ci
Rien n'a la bonne texture, rien n'est assez dense ni croustillant
Je me dis que demain je vais essayer de me faire des burgers végé, en espérant qu'ils soient bien croustillants et que ça me convienne, parce que là c'est très chiant, je n'ai pas envie de manger et en même temps je suis prête à manger tout et n'importe quoi qui pourrait convenir à mes attentes
#ActuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

I typed out some of the most resonant parts of I Will Die on This Hill for my #AutisticParent blog, so I don't forget them.

https://willaful.blogspot.com/2024/03/i-will-die-on-this-hill-where-was-this.html

https://willaful.blogspot.com/2024/03/more-quotes-from-i-will-die-on-this-hill.html

#ActuallyAutistic #AutisticMe

I recieved a lovely complement recently. It felt great at the time; but that's not the point right now.

This person told me they enjoy that I communicate my vision for things very clearly.

It got me thinking - because I've often been in situations where I'm being told that I'm communicating poorly only to think, wait a second, I'm not. I;m being quite clear, and I'm more than happy to clarify if you'd like. Apparently, offering to reword things to aid mutual understanding is... poor communication 😵‍💫

I think I realised that it illustrates really well that I'm just not trying to communicate anyone else's view - I rely on them to do that for themselves

@actuallyautistic @actuallyaudhd #AutisticMe #ActuallyAutistic

My parents keep talking to me both at the same time while I’m coding and the oven is beeping… no wonder I used to find family time so stressful. Time to put on headphones.

#actuallyautistic #autisticme

I know why it hurts: it feels like losing your community over something you don't understand. A well known feeling for #autisticme / #actuallyautistic honestly.

#llms #llm

Buying a legion go to play elden ring wherever might have been one of the better mental health decisions I made.

I had a switch but none of the games fully capture me like the big badaboom AAA stuff does (ok mostly from soft and of course monster hunter).

Realizing that gaming is actually a healthy regulatory mechanism has been a powerful insight. Like earplugs for the mind.

#autisticme #actuallyautistic

@actuallyautistic

One of the things that has come up on people's posts recently, has been autistic burn out. It reminded me how truly grateful I am that I joined this site. Because without posts like these I would not have recognised what I was experiencing this time last year, which was the worst burn out of my life.

To be honest, I'm not entirely sure what would have happened if I hadn't. I was beyond exhausted, even to the point of disassociation, in terms of briefly not knowing where I was, or what I was doing, even whilst working. But knowing me and my actions in the past, I would probably have tried to push through regardless of how bad it was. And I dread to think what the consequences of trying to do that would have been, especially if I had ended up going to the doctors. It is not as if the concept of autistic burn out is widely known, or not normally misdiagnosed as depression and medicated accordingly.

Instead, I was able to realise what it was and that things needed to drastically change and then to take the steps that have led to me feeling much better now. Not entirely out of the woods yet, but certainly seeing glimpses of the world beyond them. And all thanks to what I have learnt here. Being here has also deepened my confidence in my self-diagnosis, through the peer-review process, as someone once described it, of talking to others and realising just how similar and how much in common we have.

It is because of it, that I can look back over the days of my life and realise even more how autistic they had been. How much of my life revolved around it, even before I had this name for my difference. The accommodations I made because of it, without even realising what I was doing. How it had restricted, shaped and in so many ways, defined my choices.

And yet, the weird thing is that, despite this, being on here can also ignite my imposter syndrome. I read about the lives of others, the difficulties they face and the things that they struggle with, and I can't help but look back over my privileged and, from the outside looking in, anyway, pretty much normal life and wonder how I can even dream of being autistic. When I have lived alone and managed with most of the day to day stuff that has to be done, without any real problems or hardships. Or that I ran my own business for 22 years. Or that I have had, in fact, a pretty good life. If not, perhaps, the one I could have had.

And this, I think, is one of the problems of realising so late that I am autistic. I have had that long life to look back upon. Of coping, of making do and shaping something for myself that worked. Almost despite itself. It can make the autism seem unreal. To make me wonder if it is not just another excuse for not having done better. For the feelings that I could, perhaps, have done so much more. That it's nothing more really than a final grasping at some vague straw, before finally having to accept that it always was and had been because I was a little too lazy or, in some way, simply broken and faulty from the start, that I didn't do more.

There will, I suspect, always be moments when I doubt myself like this. When I forget all that I have learnt and the depth of the connection I feel simply being here. The price that has to be paid by someone like me, I suppose, for the sense of belonging and fellowship that I feel here and have literally never felt anywhere else in all the decades of my life. The true peer-review that this place produces and which I will always be truly, and beyond deeply, grateful for.

So thank you all, for being here and for putting up with me ❤️​ It means so very much.

#Autism
#ActuallyAutistic
#Autisticme

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Depuis ce matin je me sens comme "dissociée", je suis calme, lointaine, silencieuse, j'ai juste envie d'être posée et de glander, sauf que je suis au taff...
Mais j'ai vraiment de la chance avec mes CPE : lors de l'entretien annuel dernier, je leur ai dit que je suis autiste, elles l'ont super bien pris, étaient intéressées, etc
Et donc là, j'ai parlé avec la CPE qui est là ce matin de comment je me sens, et elle m'a dit que je pouvais m'isoler si besoin, surtout que c'est tranquille ce matin, et de ne pas hésiter à lui dire quand j'ai besoin de me poser
#ActuallyAutisticFr #AutisticMe

So I think I learned an important lesson today. I need to approach “boredom” (the physically painful, stress driven kind of boredom) the same way I approach noise.

It’s something that can result in a meltdown and the way to deal with it is to recognize symptoms and then applying the necessary strategies. The meltdown is just the consequence of a dis regulation, not the problem itself.

Which means that a handheld console is like earplugs for boredom.

#autisticme #actuallyautistic

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