One of the worst things about living through the reign of #felonioustrump is how I learned to distrust others and even myself. We were encouraged to be as thin skinned as he is and assume that everyone has a motive or hidden agenda—like he does. We have to keep him out of office not just because he is crazy but also because he is #crazymaking.

For anyone not old enough to remember, this is a spoof of an old US Army recruitment ad, “In the Army, we do more before 9am than most people do all day.”

Divorcing a #narcissist, #borderline or #histrionic can be even more exhausting, #toxic and #CrazyMaking than being married to/dating them. Many clients (and their #FamilyLaw #attorneys) fall into the trap of playing perpetual defense. In other words, going from #drama to drama, #crisis to crisis, pathological lie to pathological lie and #FalseAllegation of abuse to false allegation of abuse. Instead of having a strategy to get the best custody arrangement and financial settlement possible, you end up operating in a near constant state of #CrisisManagement.

THIS IS NOT EFFECTIVE LAWYERING. It is, however, lucrative lawyering.

If your attorney can’t/won't articulate a clear strategy to get you and the kids a good outcome and to proverbially “declaw/defang” the #CrazyEx it’s a problem. I never cease to be amazed how many clients’ attorneys haven’t explained their strategy. A strategy beyond, “Keep generating fees until your money runs out,” that is.

In order to facilitate this, it’s important to diligently document all the nonsense and bullshit — especially its impact on the kids. #ABR (#AlwaysBeRecording) and #ABD (#AlwaysBeDocumenting). Then, you need an attorney who will actually look at and listen to your documentation and knows how to implement it in a way that, again, gets you and the kids the best outcome possible.

#AbuseHasNoGender

Some of today sucked... the part where I list 15 years of data on my computer... docs and photos and my backups failed. #crazymaking #technology #whining