To anyone who hopes for a knockdown drag out argument with me. Here’s my response - I use this on Threads a lot. Not my circus, not my monkeys.
#ego #zen #argument #enlightenment #Bodhi #falseself

The Root of Neurosis How Trauma Distorts Reality and Forms the False Self
https://youtu.be/WBULKY5kL70

#neurosis #trauma #mentalhealth #emotionaltrauma #traumaresponse #subconsciousmind #falseself #psychology #shadowwork #personalgrowth #healingtrauma #traumapsychology #overcomingtrauma #selfawareness #selfdiscovery #emotionalhealing #traumaeffects #innerhealing #illusionandreality #truthandillusion #healingjourney

“Your false self is your role, title, and personal image that is largely a creation of your own mind and attachments. It will and must die in exact correlation to how much you want the Real.”

Rohr, Richard. Falling Upward: a Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2011, p. 85

#TrueSelf #FalseSelf #Integrity

“Once you have faced your own hidden or denied self, there is not much to be anxious about anymore, because there is not fear of exposure–to yourself or others. The game is over–and you are free. You have now become the ‘holy fool’ of legend and story, which Paul seems to say is the final stage (2 Corinthians 11), when there is no longer any persona or project. You finally are who you are, and can be who you are, without disguise or fear.”

Rohr, Richard. Falling Upward: a Spirituality for the Two Halves of Life. San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2011, p. 134

#TrueSelf #FalseSelf #Integrity #Freedom

Don't confuse fleeting moments of what seems like normalcy with being a normal human being. A #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic and #psychopath is not normal.

You're either experience their #mask of normalcy (i.e., #FalseSelf) and being manipulated. Or, you're in the lull of the #AbuseCycle.

How many times did Roy Horn (Siegfried and Roy) go into the tiger cage without incident before Mantacore the Tiger permanently maimed and disfigured him?

If you still need to deal with a #NPD, #BPD, #HPD (e.g., #SharedCustody) don't let your guard down, maintain and enforce #boundaries, don't ever get too personal and don't succumb to wishful thinking that maybe things can be normal.

#AbuseHasNoGender

There are no "versions." It's all the same person.

Furthermore, the #borderline, #narcissist, #histrionic, #ClusterB variety pack is exactly the same person on the day the relationship ends as on the day the relationship began.

Initially, these individuals often hide their true nature. In other words, you meet the #FalseSelf-#LoveBomb. Choosing to pretend to be someone they are not seems to indicate some degree of awareness that others would reject (or revile) them if they revealed the angry, bitter, self-pitying #AdultToddler shitshow up front.

#BPD #NPD #HPD #AbuseHasNoGender

#EmotionalLabor isn't the melodramatic self-imposed martyrdom many #narcissist, #borderline, #histrionic or #ClusterB variety pack partners and/or parents inflict upon themselves and their families.

Based upon the social media misuse of the term, "emotional labor" is what these individuals "suffer" during the holidays, special occasions and daily life when reality fails to meet their unreasonable and irrationally high expectations for a picture perfect life. An #Instagram #Influencer life in which everyone and everything magically falls into place to aggrandize their public image, #FalseSelf and grossly inflated sense of worth.

Nor is emotional labor the irritation, resentment, contempt and anger the #NPD, #BPD, #HPD person feels when their partners and kids fail to appreciate, worship and submit to their unrealistic expectations (e.g., #MindReading), BS martyrdom, #CovertContracts and other forms of #EmotionalManipulation.

Emotional labor (in its original application) is the act of managing one’s emotions in the workplace. “More specifically, workers are expected to regulate their emotions during interactions with customers, co-workers and superiors. This includes analysis and decision making in terms of the expression of emotion, whether actually felt or not, as well as its opposite: the suppression of emotions that are felt but not expressed” (Arlie Hothschild, 1983).

In 2017, a few intrepid gender studies instructors and bloggers (including Gemma Hartley) co-opted the term emotional labor to mean something it doesn’t mean. The term is now yet another way for a subset of privileged women with, shall we say, certain characterological issues to claim “oppression” at the hands of their ungrateful husbands and equally ungrateful children.

Since Hartley’s groundbreaking 2017 diary of an oppressed stay-at-home #mommyblogger, "Women Aren’t Nags — We’re Just Fed Up: Emotional Labor is the Unpaid Job Men Still Don’t Understand," other similarly-afflicted women have glommed onto her viral misappropriation. Lo and behold, an alternate usage section was added to the Wiki page in 2020. Thus, not really legitimizing Gemma’s misuse of the term after the fact.

To be fair, enduring (without snapping) the egregious #VictimPlaying and #abuse by NPD/BPD family members this time of year is unpaid is a lotta work!

On a separate note, let's discuss #MatchingPajamas. When I see these photos, I immediately assume -- correctly or incorrectly -- NPD mom/wife. I know this isn't true in some cases.

Nevertheless, anyone dating a single mom who wants to dress you in matching jammies (especially when in never-ending custody disputes with the kids' actual father/other mother) -- just run. RUN. Jump in your magic sleigh and haul reindeer ass.

#AbuseHasNoGender #NPDfreeChristmas #BPDfreeChristmas #SelfCare