Day 22: The Soft Bruja Affirmation That Saved Me

There are affirmations that sound cute on Pinterest, and then there are affirmations that are carved into your bones because they carried you through the hardest chapters of your life. You are okay is one of those for me.

I didn’t come to this affirmation in a peaceful season. I didn’t discover it on a wellness app or during a self-care retreat. I learned it at twenty years old, exhausted, terrified, and trying to raise a whole human being by myself. I was drowning — emotionally, mentally, financially — and every day felt like a test I hadn’t studied for.

My stepmom, who has this magical way of seeing straight through the chaos to the real me, told me something that shifted everything. She said, “Just tell yourself ‘I’m okay, I’m okay, I’m okay’” I remember thinking, “How? Nothing about this feels okay.” But I was desperate enough to try.

And something unexpected happened.

When I repeated You are okay, I realized it wasn’t denying the struggle. It wasn’t pretending my life wasn’t heavy. It was reminding me that right in that exact moment — not in the imagined future, not in the trauma of the past — I was actually okay. I had breath in my lungs. I had a baby who loved me. I had a body that kept getting back up even when my spirit felt like it couldn’t.

The fear always came when I zoomed out.
When I thought too far ahead.
When I replayed everything I had been through.
When I spiraled in the “what ifs” instead of the “what is.”

But when I forced myself into the present moment, when I simply acknowledged right now, I wasn’t falling apart. I was managing. I was standing. I was okay.

That affirmation helped me rewire my anxiety before I even had the language for it. It gave me this tiny, steady anchor in a season that felt like open ocean. I wasn’t magically healed by the phrase, but I found pockets of calm I wouldn’t have had otherwise. And sometimes, calm is enough to keep going.

Now, two decades later, life looks different. I’m not that scared 20-year-old anymore. I have experience, stability, and a deeper understanding of who I am. But the affirmation stays with me. I still whisper it to myself when life gets chaotic, when I’m juggling family, writing, publishing, and everything else that sneaks onto my plate. I still return to those two little words that grounded me when I felt like I was free-falling.

I’m okay isn’t just an affirmation; it’s a reminder that survival isn’t small. It’s a reminder that the present moment is often gentler than the story we tell about it. It’s a reminder that we deserve grace from ourselves.

And honestly? I think that’s what being a soft bruja is all about, grounding yourself, speaking to yourself with love, and learning to trust the version of you who keeps rising.

Finding Your Anchor Through Life Chaotic Phases

When life throws us into chaos through major transitions, how do we find our way back to ourselves? That’s the question at the heart of this deeply personal episode where I open up about my recent experiences navigating multiple upheavals – moving from Kentucky to San Antonio and then immediately jumping into a temporary duty assignment.

Through this whirlwind of change, I discovered something profound about stability: it’s not about trying to recreate your old normal in new circumstances. It’s about identifying the sacred habits that anchor your identity regardless of where you are or what’s happening around you. For me, this meant stripping everything back to just three core practices: physical exercise for mental clarity, writing for creative nourishment, and reading as my escape hatch from stress.

The journey wasn’t straightforward. It required intentional self-reflection, kindness toward myself, and consistently quieting that counterproductive inner voice that wanted me to give up. I share the uncomfortable truth of how it took a full week of feeling low before I could motivate myself to restart these habits, and how I had to be both gentle and firm with myself to maintain them. 

Whether you’re in military life facing PCS moves, or navigating any major life transition, this episode offers practical wisdom for rebuilding your sense of self one sacred habit at a time. Stability isn’t a fixed destination we reach once and for all – it’s something we actively cultivate day by day, especially during seasons of change. What habits anchor you when everything else is in flux?

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