BASED ON A TRUE STORY: In one diocese in the Philippines, celebrating the Holy Mass at home is prohibited unless it’s a Funeral Mass. The problem; there is a devout Catholic couple who was denied to have a Mass for their 10th wedding anniversary, but a balikbayan was granted one, complete with a choir. This post highlights the couple’s frustration and the insult they felt from the parish.
Summary in Filipino: Sa isang diocese sa Pilipinas, ipinagbabawal ang pagdaraos ng Banal na Misa sa bahay maliban kung ito ay Funeral Mass. Ang problema ay may isang debotong mag-asawa na hindi pinayagang magmisa sa kanilang ika-10 anibersaryo ng kasal, ngunit ang isang balikbayan ay pinayagan, may kasama pang choir sa nasabing Misa. Ipinapakita sa post na ito ang frustrations ng mag-asawa dahil sa insultong kanilang natanggap mula sa parokya.
The Story
A devout Catholic couple was about to celebrate their 10th wedding anniversary. They acquired an apostolic blessing from Rome for this special occasion. Because of this important milestone, they wanted the anniversary to be a significant day with their children, and their family and friends. For the couple, the only thing that would make the event special was a Holy Mass celebrated at their home.
The husband and wife went to the parish office weeks before their anniversary to express their interest in having a Mass at home with their guests and, if possible, to have confession and a house blessing. The office does not know but the couple had set aside a good budget for the priest’s stipend as a thank-you token if the request was granted. However, due to diocesan rules, the parish administrator did not grant the request. He firmly stated, “The diocese only allows Mass at home if it’s a funeral Mass.” Although upset with the outcome, the couple understood the protocols.
The house blessing was the least of their priorities but it was the only request that was approved. “It’s the best the priest can do,” said the administrator. To which the couple sadly agreed, saying, “It’s better than no priest at all.”
To seal the deal, the parochial administrator added, “You are to provide transportation for the priest from and back to the parish.” This is an obvious sign of a church that only pretends to care for the poor but their actions tell the contrary. For sure the poorest will not have the means to provide this transport for the priest which can only mean they are not entitled for any Sacrament or sacramental at home. No wonder why only very few of the poorest go to Church nowadays! Anyways, the couple agreed, even though the priest’s vehicle was way much better than their dilapidated 2007 sedan, and despite the location being just a few kilometers from the church.
So it happened; on the morning of the anniversary, the priest came and blessed their home and some religious items. After a simple meal, the husband gave the priest his stipend and some gifts and drove him back to the parish in the family’s old car. In the afternoon, the couple’s guests came and enjoyed a sumptuous meal. The story should have ended here, and the couple did not make a big deal out of it. After all, Catholics need to be submissive to local Church authorities.
However, months later, a neighbor who returned from his work abroad requested a Mass at their house as part of their thanksgiving party. The couple was invited but could not attend the Mass because of other commitments. However, the Mass did happen. As an invitee, the husband went to the party after the Mass and noticed many people outside the family circle attending. One of them informed the husband that they were the choir who served during the thanksgiving Mass. So, the priest indeed was there to say Mass, with accompanying people to assist him at Mass including the choir and their guitarist.
Not showing his anger, the husband conveyed his disappointment to the choir staff, asking why the parish rejected a request for their 10th wedding anniversary at home a few months back. The choir staff knows that private Masses ought not to be said outside the church unless it’s a church-initiated Mass like BEC Masses and the like. But she also wondered why a Mass for an OFW thanksgiving party was granted and not the 10th wedding anniversary. The husband inquired with another priest he knows from the same diocese, and the priest confirmed that such is the norm in the diocese. Only funeral Masses can be said privately outside the parish. The husband planned to personally raise his concerns at the parish office but to avoid confrontation with the parish priest and his administrator, the couple chose to let the tension of the issue subside.
However, A few days later, not intentionally, the husband and the choir staff met again. The choir staff was told by the parish of the real reason why the Mass took place, and it’s because the family who requested it had a sick family member on a wheelchair. The husband knows this sick woman and is happy that a Mass was said for her. However, this was an obvious lie on behalf of the parish and therefore even more insulting to him, as saying a private Mass for the sick still clearly violated the diocesan rule. A sick person needs anointing and viaticum and the ritual has to be solemn, not with a choir and a guitarist.
The parish is making a fool of the couple by stating reasons that do not make sense. “There are hundreds of old and sickly people in our parish. Is the parish office ready to give all of them an exception? Very unlikely!”, and “why would a Mass for a sickly person necessitate a choir and a guitarist?”, the husband thought.
From this point on, the couple resolved to take their Mass attendance and monthly donations to another nearby parish until the priest issues a written apology for the insults caused. He thinks that going to the same parish without receiving an apology from the priest will only permit the same thing to happen in the future. The only thing the husband is thinking, and he knows he might be wrong about this, is that the Mass took place only because of the money. Because what other reason could there be to disobey a bishop if not because of the money. Everything can be moved by money, including, sadly, the celebration of the Holy Mass, even if the requesting family is not frequent church-goer.
The Purpose of this Post
This is not a condemnation of the OFW neighbor. His family and the couple’s family are close neighbors and are on good terms. This is also not condemning the priest and his administrator either. But the behavior of disrespect and the insults they caused towards the husband and the wife, and perhaps their weakness for money, need to be addressed. This is the purpose of this blog post: that Catholics should be aware and avoid all kinds of manipulations by their parish. They are supposed to serve all and not only those parishioners with thick wallets.
This case is but one example of how bad the social sin of clericalism is devouring what is left of our Church in our country. There are many other forms and versions of Sacraments and Sacramentals for sale in the Catholic Church. Some are unavoidable, but some are intentional. May this bad clericalism be gone in our country and in the universal Church for the sake of our children and the next generation of Catholics!
P.S. If you’ve faced similar insults or manipulation and need to express your sentiments, feel free to send me your story via personal message—we can agree to anonymously publish it. For any other forms of abuse that qualifies as a criminal case, please report it to the local authority rather than the bishop, as bishops and priests often work closely together and there are not a lot of good clerics left today.
Featured Image: Anya Juarez Tenorio, Pexels
https://epistlesph.com/2024/11/02/sacrament-for-sale/
#clericalism #HolyEucharist #LiturgicalAbuses #Liturgy #Priesthood