The FBI is proud to announce our new Murder Free March initiative! By allowing police to use more force in their daily routines, we are confident that we will significantly reduce the number of murders that take place in our communities. After all, what could go wrong with giving officers more power?

And that's not all, folks! We've also implemented a strategic paperwork loss policy to ensure that pesky paperwork won't get in the way of justice. Why waste time filling out reports and gathering evidence when we can just lose it and save everyone the trouble? We're all about efficiency here at the FBI.

So rest easy, citizens, because with the Murder Free March initiative in place, you can sleep soundly knowing that our brave police officers are out there using their new powers to keep you safe. Because remember, when it comes to law enforcement, less paperwork and more force always equals more safety. #sarcasm #notreally #murderfreemarch #moreforce #lesspaperwork