@snarl

:-)

@fesshole
Just to clarify for the American crowd here: in British English "biscuits" is the same as "cookies" in American English. :-)
Tasty and unhealthy no matter what you call them.

An elderly Florida woman had just finished her grocery shopping when she returned to the parking lot—and to her surprise, found four young men inside her car, apparently about to drive off.

Without hesitation, she dropped her bags, pulled a handgun from her purse, and shouted, “I have a gun, and I know how to use it! Get out of the car!”

The startled men didn’t wait for a second warning—they bolted from the vehicle and ran like their lives depended on it.

Still shaking from the adrenaline, the woman gathered her groceries, loaded them into the car, and got into the driver’s seat. But no matter how hard she tried, she couldn’t get the key into the ignition.

Puzzled, she looked around the interior… and noticed something odd: a football in the passenger seat, a Frisbee on the floor, and two cases of beer in the back. Slowly, it dawned on her.

She was in the wrong car.

Sure enough, her identical vehicle was parked just a few spaces away. Embarrassed but amused, she moved her bags to her actual car and drove straight to the police station to report the mix-up.

When she finished her story, the desk sergeant burst into laughter. Then he gestured to the other side of the room—where four very pale young men were nervously describing how they’d been carjacked by a “crazy old lady with curly white hair, glasses, under five feet tall, and packing heat.”

@jokes

10 points and... sounds like a true story! ;-)

#funny

#funny

@crk5

Yes! Tax them! But... it's not gonna happen - the wealthy own the politicians.
Why do you think most people rooted for Luigi? Because there is no hope. BTW, wishful thinking is not a strategy and the guy took things in his own hands. The result? The rich and powerful hired more private security.
Things are not gonna get better and the enshitification is real - no joke!
Voting is an illusion that people have a voice. We don't.
Enough, though. Peace and love to y'all! ;-)

@tuban_muzuru
Ten points! ;-)

Brain cells die. Skin cells die and even hair cells die. But the fat cells in my stomach must have accepted Jesus Christ as their Lord and Savior since they seem to have eternal life.

@rockoutloud11

10 points!!! Hahaha! :-) Thanks for sharing! ;-)

@DavidM_yeg @benroyce

Our flight over the pond a month ago was only 20% full, if that.

@Tarnport

This keeps getting better! Haha! ;-)
Next time I have goat cheese induced diarrhea I will remember to treat it with laughter as it is the best medicine! ;-)

Thank you! Your posts made my day! I have not laughed so hard in a while and my wife laughed to tears too. ;-)

@Tarnport

OMG! I laughed so hard!!! Hahaha! ;-) ;-) :-)

You've never had anything like this before. :-)

I am convinced that you did not mention the consequence of "diarrhea explosion" on purpose as simply implying it makes the story irresistibly hilarious!!! :-)

OMG, I need a minute to recover! Ha-ha-ha-ha! ;-)

Please forgive me if my assumption was wrong.

@thenewsdesk @business-thenewsdesk
Money. That's why we support the war.

Discounts these days are crazy! ;-)
#funny
Oh, wait! There is no mistake - this #inflation at work!!! :-)
No joke!

A #funny T-shirt. ;-)

Sometimes, I am also full of pizza and doubts about the wisdom of eating so much pizza. ;-)

Oh, no!!! ;-)
1983 Digger online!!! ;-)

https://www.futrega.org/digger/

Buried in Proton's AI announcement today is a pretty shocking detail about their service 👀

Because of legal uncertainty around Swiss government proposals to introduce mass surveillance — proposals that have been outlawed in the EU — Proton is moving most of its physical infrastructure out of Switzerland. Lumo will be the first product to move.

#Proton #Switzerland #Privacy #EuroStack #ProtonMail

Tesla is set to deliver dismal sales, but here's why investors don't care
https://www.thestreet.com/electric-vehicles/tesla-deliver-dismal-sales-investors-dont-care?utm_source=flipboard&utm_medium=activitypub

Posted into Business @business-thenewsdesk