A boa constrictor named Lena
Once swallowed a concertina.
When she'd give it a squeeze
As she coiled in the trees
It would play the Macarena.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

A hungry young fellow named Marvin
Sat dreaming of turkeys and carvin'.
So a lady brought Spam,
But he said, 'Thank you, ma'am;
I prefer the alternative: starvin'.'

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There one was a man from Peru,
Who dreamed of eating his shoe,
he awoke with a fright,
in the middle of the night,
and found that his dream had come true!

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a cute little bunny,
Who I thought was sweet and funny.
He ate all the carrots,
And looked at the parrots,
And that was my cute little bunny.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

To see him's a real sad sight.
He has trouble in standing upright.
The cause of his trouble:
His back is bent double;
The found his suspenders too tight!

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a snake named Lena,
Who swallowed a concertina,
And when she was squeezed,
Way up in the trees
She played the macerena.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

This next one just happens to be,
A poem that I as in me,
Made up at my desk
For it is the best,
That a poem could ever be.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a man named Crocket
Who put his foot in a socket
When along came a witch,
Who turned on the switch,
And sent Crocket up like a rocket.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

A synod the bishops convene;
The discussion theme 'What is obscene?'
While under the table
Are Myrtle and Mable
A-giving their bishops a sheen

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There was a farmer from Leeds,
Who ate six packets of seeds,
It soon came to pass ,
He was covered with grass,
And he couldn't sit down for the weeds

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

It isn't a very hard trick
to sit down and write a limerick
Just give me some time
and two lines that rhyme
and I'll present you with something real slick.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There was a guy named Jose
Who was nicknamed 'no way'.
He attended The Learning Academy;
His ambition was astronautics, not anatomy!
So now his nickname is 'no weigh'.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a man who liked to bet
He even did it on the net
Then one bad day
The money went away
Now he's drowning in debt

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a man named Ken
who came walking 'round the bend
he stepped on a tack
and said yakety-yack
then he had to pass wind.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There was a space telescope named Hubble
That produced images that appeared double
They sent up a rocket
Adjusted a socket
Oh!! how the engineers got out of trouble.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a boy from Quebec
Who bought a new stereo deck
He played it quite loud
In front of a crowd
And now his new deck is a wreck

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

I hope this new compost succeeds
In its task of inhibiting weeds
While providing enough
Of the nourishing stuff
For my mesembryanthemum seeds

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once was a boater named Sam,
who when he was stuck in a jam,
jumped from his boat,
yet stayed afloat,
till he went right over the dam.

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke