The New Gladiators
Hockey includes fighting. This should be obvious because they have a penalty called fighting which they use quite commonly. But in hockey the name fighting is of a very narrow usage. What they really mean is boxing.
If hockey were to be more inclusive they would include other types of fighting. Like martial arts. The first thing hockey fans would notice, would be the kicks. I bet the opposing team would scream bloody murder if kicks were used against them. And you know, it could lead to quite a bloody murder of one of their players.
Skates work best when they are sharp. One time in grade school, we were playing hockey without equipment, but with skates and sticks. I got pushed from behind and ended with my forehead on someone’s skate blade. That’s the only stitch I’ve ever needed. The doctor had to fix it and stop the bleeding.
Once while I was waiting in the emergency room in Toronto, a hockey player came in with a towel around his neck. His injury was a skate blade to the neck. I was ill but wanted the staff to take him first. They did. I wonder just how many stitches he needed. Or if they had to use something more immediate than stitches.
Anyhow these were accidents with skate blades. I wonder how bad it would be if deliberate attacks with these blades were more commonplace. What would happen with a roundhouse? Or a drop kick? I believe that the tough hockey players wouldn’t look so tough anymore.
It’s all fun and games in hockey until the Beijing Serial Killers (really a kung fu dojo with an interest in hockey) win a Stanley Cup through the dead and maimed bodies of the rest of the NHL. Perhaps after all this carnage, the NHL would ban fighting amongst its players. But probably not. After all, the viewership would likely be up.
Like usual, the NHL would say they were policing themselves. Sure that star goalie died because of a kick to the neck. But the other player was suspended for 10 games. That’ll show him. At least more so than 25 years in prison for 2nd degree murder. I bet he wouldn’t do it again for at least 3 games after his suspension.
And that is how the new gladiators start. The public might love it so much that it wouldn’t stop till after the collapse of our civilization. You want more emotion in hockey? Many deaths will indeed bring such an event about.
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