Because memory issues, I don't know if there was a fuck-up during the ordering process, or if I even own reading glasses in my current prescription.
The thing is, I can't figure out why I'd buy distance glasses that weren't sunglasses. Distances are fine with my progressive lenses.
Other Ones I didn't see replies with:
- Better Than Chocolate
- But, I'm a Cheerleader
And (although it violates her restrictions)
- The Incredibles
--
I'm surprised by how many movies I've seen that many times.
For those who know I have #SDAM : Movies & High-end TV shows are a weird exception. I tend to have a good memory for them once I'm reminded they exist.
Earlier I've wondered why my classes didn't read any "classics" in school. Now I'm thinking that maybe we did. I simply have no memory trace of it.
Thinking about my memory issues and how it affects my recollection of fictional works. I just finished my second watching of the Netflix animated series Dead End: Paranormal Park. The first time was a bit more than two years ago. I remember the timing as it ties in with certain things that happened in my life.
I didn't remember practically anything before it happened. Yet, there was this familiarity. I knew the characters. I recognized many things as the story unfolded. I didn't remember the big reveal. I had remembered that the show was cancelled before the final season, well enough so that I actually ordered the graphic novels the series is based on soon after I started my second watching. I still didn't remember how super-irritating the ending was with all the build-up for Season 3.
This is where I actually like my memory issues. I usually need repeated watching to remember the show so my second watching doesn't often feel like the second. It's a funny feeling. I know I like the show, it feels familiar, I know the characters (but not really their backstories) but I'm in the dark as to what will happen.
Was thinking about my #SDAM in the shower this morning, and came to the realization that I have a "vibes based" memory.
In the off chance that I actually remember someone / something from my past it's usually more a collection of vibes than anything specific.
Like "oh yeah, I remember people generally liking that" or remembering that someone was a jerk but not why exactly.
@rdm i have no idea. I wondered the same thing. Iāve been going through photos while listening to a book pulling up all sorts of pet cuteness that i have zero recollection of.
Mostly i donāt notice not having a memory ( because I canāt remember that there is anything to miss ) but it really sucks when youāre faced with the wonderful things youāve lost
@jmyarlett I donāt know if this will help at all, but I discovered a few years ago that I have #aphantasia ā the ālack of a mindās eyeā š«„
one of the things that often comes along with it (or is a comorbibity) is Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory (#SDAM), which means that we donāt seem to lay down very strong āfirst-personā memories
I guess itās technically a ādeficiencyā (depending on context, depending on who youāre talking to), but it also seems to bring strengths with it as well (e.g. traumatic memories may not hang around / be as overwhelming)
I donāt know if itās the same for you (re: strengths) but I hope so š¤
https://mementomori.social/@LehtoriTuomo/115286968072422851
@LehtoriTuomo
Your post made me realize a possible cause for my SDAM - aphantasia! Actually I've wondered what SDAM means, since my autobiographical memoiry is pretty much as vivid as my immediate experience - not very vivid! If your real time view of life is a vague snapshot and a few related words, of course your memory of that bit of life will be "deficient".
Does anyone have historical memories that are more detailed than the original experience? Unless they artificially embroider them after the experience is over?
Some random thoughts about my hypothesized SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory).
It isnāt as severe as for many others. I have a strong sense of self and feel continuity in my life. My mind has accumulated lots of information about different situations so thereās continuation from that perspective. I do wonder, though, whether itās at least partially due to me being so persistent in crafting the timeline of my life, writing journal for decades, creating lists etc.
When I try to remember when a certain event occurred, I try to position it on the timeline. If thereās not a good anchor point nearby, then Iām lost. Did this thing happen last year or five years ago? Doesnāt really matter. If thereās no mental snapshot or some factoid about an event in my mind, then Iām totally clueless.
When thereās a change, I usually get used to it very quickly. Moving to a new place? A couple of days and it feels normal. Losing touch with my best friend? Itās a bummer but didnāt really affect my life. I did process what had happened (as I usually like to) but after than that, itās as if he was never there in the first place. Even the whole SDAM doesnāt feel like a big thing. Thereās nothing I can do about it but itās cool to understand a bit more about myself.
I donāt hold grudge against people. The one exception is the main bully from school. Even there I hold it more for principle, knowing that this person is dangerous and hurt me a lot. I do keep track of people who are unreliable for one reason or another, though.
I donāt remember what has happened in books or movies unless I've read/seen them multiple times. I keep lists of books/movies Iāve read/watched and there are so many entries I donāt have a slightest clue what itās about. I may feel familiarity but plot twists (unless it was something big that made to my factual semantic memory) come as a surprise, for instance.
So, I posted about my shoddy episodic memory last week and got some great replies. This led me to study SDAM or Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory. And goddamnit, if it doesn't explain many things too well.
My current working hypothesis is that I indeed have it and I don't store information via episodic memory whatsoever. Instead, my mind takes snapshots and stores factual information in semantic memory. If I remember an occurrence, I remember some stored facts about it. If I don't revisit those snapshots, then they fade out of memory.
If you ask me "do you remember when we...?" the categorical answer is no. I don't have an experience-based recollection of writing the previous sentence. I don't remember what it was like to be at our wedding. But if you ask "do you remember that we...?" then I might. I know I wrote that sentence for fact. I remember the space where we got married, I remember who was present (just two other people plus the officiant). I don't remember the actual act though. Realizing this and testing the hypothesis was a mindfuck.
Having #SDAM means having brief memories of girlfriends past, but not remembering their names, or much of anything else.
I don't know who I lost my virginity to, just the first moment of genital contact, and how i felt when she broke up with me over the phone.
I still want to write something with a main character like me, but I don't know how to show anyone what it feels like to not know things you "should", and - for the most part - not be aware of what - or who - you've lost.
@maddy got me thinking about having #SDAM again, which made me think maybe I should make one of the main characters in the next book have it.
Then I realized, I don't think i can. To me not remembering most of my life is normal. I see the way people react when I tell them I can't remember something i did with them, but I don't actually have any idea how they perceive me / my life.
1/2
Le VSR700, drone hĆ©lico naval autonome dāAirbus, Ć©tend la portĆ©e des missions ISTAR depuis les frĆ©gates franƧaises.
https://www.avionslegendaires.net/avion-militaire/airbus-helicopters-vsr700/
#Space #Innovation #AerospaceEngineering #VSR700 #NavalDrone #DeckFinder #SDAM #FutureDefense
It seems I have started to avoid people a little bit because of my #SDAM. I'm so aware of lacking things that even having a conversation with someone makes me panic about forgetting something big and important. It's like I'm having this huge secret I'm trying to keep. It's more than masking autism, its pretending that I have a life, a personality, a history, relationships. All this has been erased from my mind but I live in this world pretending I have these.
It's really lonely. And no one has any idea how this feels. (I've told two people in my life and they do remember it sometimes but it's not like they have to live with the condition 24/7.)
#TIL about severely deficient autobiographical memory - and maybe that's what it has been all along.
https://www.bbc.com/future/article/20181112-severely-deficient-autobiographical-memory-is-surprisi
Someone I mentioned that despite being a fully adult, they had only just gone on their first date. š
I realized my mental response might serve as a good example of living with severe memory issues.
Iām ~50. I honestly not sure if Iāve ever been on something that could be really be called a date.
I feel like surely I must have been, but I donāt know, and it feels like shit to think that I mightāve forgotten one with my wife.
#Introduction with a billion #hashtags...
I'm Alba, a #trans #nonbinay #bisexual #autistic #vegan #antifascist #activist from #Nijmegen, #NL. In addition to my #autism, I've also got #ADHD, #hyperlexia, related auditory processing and executive function issues, #aphantasia and #SDAM (Severely Deficient Autobiographical Memory). I'm an IT #tech at a large #international company, a volunteer for the #radical #intersectional #anticapitalist #political party #BIJ1 and a freelance #translator. I speak #Nederlands, #franƧais, #English, #Deutsch and #Esperanto. I play #saxophone - I have a bari sax, a tenor sax and a soprano sax. I also have a #flute and a #ukelele but I don't play those nearly as well as the saxes. I love playing #TTRPG like #DnD5e and #PF2e, and I have two #cats, an orange slonk called Hobbes and a void chonk called Nita.
I used to hang out on mastodon.lol until early 2023 when that instance shut down. I then moved to todon.nl and recently decided to hop on to blahaj.zone ā:Blobhaj_Love:ā
#288.2 - JACK&JOZEF - Herinnering Steen?
#ad #nrc #vk #podcast #PodcastGemist #JackJozef #OmroepMax #BNNVARA #Schiedam #SDAM #VVD #politiek #weereendag #vpro #sbs6 #vandaaginside #RTL4 #media #talkshow #tv
Op 29 maart 2025 staan JACK&JOZEF in het Theater
https://theateraandeschie.nl/voorstelling/jack-jozef
