True Life: I used to have a BAD drinking habit
I’m talking borderline alcoholism.
I started drinking when I was in high school and despite nearly dying a few times from alcohol poisoning, I couldn’t stop.
Alcohol numbed the feelings of depression and overstimulation all the while sending me spiraling deeper into them once the hangovers set it.
I dated people for two decades that matched or surpassed my own substance use so that I wouldn’t have to face or acknowledge my problem.
Yes, alcohol is engrained in our culture. Drinking just for the sake of drinking is what people do. Post 2020, it’s even more widely available and accessible. It’s now even harder to escape the grip of its temptation.
But it isn’t impossible.
My husband doesn’t drink and I thank God that he doesn’t. He had his share of heavy drinking too, then decided to shift gears and let it go.
He’s one of my biggest inspirations for this very reason.
Before dating my now husband I knew that if he and I would be together, I’d have to give up drinking.
I knew I wanted a family with him. I knew the toll alcohol ALWAYS had on my relationships. I knew, if it came down to choosing between my Husband and alcohol, alcohol could no longer have a place in my life.
For months, I did not feel ready. I felt like I couldn’t do it- like I didn’t even WANT to do it. The hard stuff, sure, kicking that out was easy. A glass of wine here or there though seemed harmless and turning those down felt like a killjoy..
But one day after waking up drenched in the smell of white wine and internal shame of overstepping my own boundaries, I had had enough.
I can’t say I miss drinking. Especially while pregnant. I *do* miss trying the vast creative expressions people put out into the world and, as a former bartender, the ritual of making and sharing a drink with others.
It’s really cool to see NA drinks explode on the market. I’m glad others are reclaiming their health. Found this gem at Sprouts!
#NotAnAd