Just started listening to the audiobook for "healing the fragmented selves of trauma survivors: overcoming internal self-alienation" by Janina Fisher.
I just started it but there's already a line I like: "what is it like to live in a body organized to expect annihilation or abandonment." 🎯
Another part talks about "internal wars", which I very much relate to. I'm often filled with contradictory wants: want to learn x programming thing while deeply not wanting to, wanting to use and knowing that it's bad for me and I shouldn't, wanting to take care of an annoying thing and not wanting to do it, wanting to be more social and not wanting it, etc.
She uses internal parts analysis, which i definitely related to: the lazy part vs the mean parent part, the compulsive/addicted part, the evil self-hate/self-destructive part, the total collapse and given up part, etc.
The purpose of the book seems to be to help the trauma survivor have an integrated self with a compassionate inner part that can provide support when the person is having a hard time, and not react with shame/abuse directed towards the self. that sounds like it would be really nice!
I've built up a bit of a "nicer, more supportive, less impulsive, more reflective inner parent" this year (starting from having nothing on the inside that could provide that perspective. The only inner parent I ever had was a mean one by whose metric I was never doing enough and was always failing), but it's still hard and I still have struggles in this arena.
Anyway, I'm looking forward to hearing what she has to say.
#CPTSD #trauma #PTSD #recovery #addiction #therapy #books #audiobooks #did #attachment
