Lmst

One of the fastest ways to be dumped as an avoidant is by dating someone while fearing commitment. The relationship will move along and as the avoidant, you'll hide that fear in noticeable habits, delayed timing, and by tensing up when your partner wants to be close and you can't lower your shoulders and relax. Their love feels safe from a distance, so you get dumped. Every time.... #AvoidantAttachment

https://juststopdating.com/?p=5085

Reclaiming You: Healing After an Avoidant Relationship 2of2

5. Seek Support: Talk to trusted friends, family, or a therapist. Sharing your experience can be incredibly validating and healing.

6. Practice Self-Compassion: Be kind and patient with yourself. Healing takes time, and there will be ups and downs.

7. Reframe the Narrative: Instead of dwelling on what you did wrong, focus on what you learned and how you've grown.

8. Embrace the Future: Believe that you're capable of having a healthy, fulfilling relationship with someone who can meet your needs.

Healing isn't about forgetting; it's about remembering without the pain. You've got this!

#AvoidantAttachment #relationships #healing

here's the lowdown on avoidant attachment, based on my experience and lessons I've learned about being with one before:

1. They struggle to meet your emotional needs because they're hyper-focused on their own.
2. They create a push-pull dynamic, giving you hope for change, but rarely follow through unless you set firm boundaries.
3. They lack consistency, with relationships often starting strong but deteriorating quickly.
4. Being with them can hinder your healing and lead you to wrongly blame yourself.
5. You might lose your sense of self as they subtly break down your boundaries, making you feel like you're the problem.

You can't change their attachment style. They need to commit to change themselves, which is rare. They often only seek change after losing someone they truly value.

My advice: if you recognize these patterns, remember that you deserve better!

Prioritize your well-being and seek a relationship where your needs are consistently met.

#AvoidantAttachment #SelfWorth #RelationshipAdvice

Hi guys, if you are suffering with this I hope you can access good support.

These posts are a massive simplification of course, there is no summarizing this in 4 slides, it's just intended to point out a possible path.

There are free support groups online too, so much more accessible these days. David Kessler has got lots of resources @iamdavidkessler both paid and free for bereaved people.

I just want to say that continuing bonds is a secular idea, it can be spiritual or aspiritual, you can, for example, believe in the soul of a person staying with you, or you can hold onto the impression they have made in your heart and the impact they have had on you and hold that with you; you can find the way of keeping them with you that is true and real for you.

In Ireland:

you can free call the Samaritans at any time on 116 123 at any time if you need someone to listen. You can also email them if you prefer, jo@samaritans.ie

Irish Hospice foundation have a helpline for bereavement support which runs from 10am to 1pm on weekdays, it's 1800 80 70 77

Academic stuff:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0030222815576124 < insecure attachment styles and complicated grief

A study finding 93% of ADHDers had insecure attachment:
https://findresearcher.sdu.dk:8443/ws/portalfiles/portal/134088245/Association_Between_Insecure_Attachment_and_ADHD.pdf (I've seen other numbers other times, but the percentage is always extremely high).

#grief #bereavement #complicatedgrief #adhdgrief #griefandloss #bereavementcounselling #adhdandgrief #griefsupport #adhdireland #attachment #attachmentstyles #insecureattachment #avoidantattachment #fearfulattachment #fearfullyattached #preoccupiedattachment #ambivalentattachment #continuingbonds #davidkessler #psychology #psychiatry #psychologystudents #psychotherapy #counselling #persistentcomplexbereavement