Okay, unpopular topic for public discussion, but it's important.
Let your doctors stick cameras in you. It's for a good reason. I have friends that resisted who are no longer with us.
I'm in the middle of prep for a morning Photo Opportunity, and it's SO MUCH LESS MISERABLE than it used to be. There is no excuse for avoiding this stuff. Honestly, this is only mildy inconvenient, not the torture it was ten years ago.
Get your damn #colonoscopy when they say it's time.
After over 6 hours, I am now deep in the "Frank Lloyd Wright" phase of my #colonoscopy prep, as I euphemistically call it. #IYKYK
Reds legend Eric Davis shares message of early detection to survive cancer https://www.rawchili.com/mlb/440106/ #advantage #age #Baseball #catcher #Cincinnati #CincinnatiReds #CincinnatiReds #colonoscopy #ColorectalCancer #difference #DouglasFlora #EarlyDetection #EricDavis #Message #MLB #people #plate #Reds #tumor #week #year
@GrimmReality @shezza_t @purplepadma @capn_b John Mastodon invented the fediverse so we can share #colonoscopy preparation tips! Or that's what I was told when I joined, at least.
I CAN EAT AND DRINK NORMALLY AGAIN!
Oscopy outcome: nothing found, come back in 2 years and do it all again.
I watched the feed from the camera, which was more than a little bit odd but then I'd been given a cocktail of sedatives so I didn't really care.
The Colonoscopy
“We have a few questions to make sure that you are ready for your colonoscopy.”
“Okay.”
“Did you finish drinking your prep?”
“Yes. It was disgusting.”
“Now, now. It *was* lemon-flavored.”
“Yes. If your idea of lemons is suicidal lemons.”
“How was your last bowel movement.”
“Squirty.”
“Squirty?”
“Yes, squirty.”
“Did you reach the peeing through my arsehole stage of the prep?”
“Yes. I was peeing through my arsehole.”
“Let’s break into a song. If you pee through your butthole…”
“If you pee through your butthole…”
“… your doctor will love you.”
“… your doctor will l… Say. What’s the monstrosity that the nurse just rolled in?”
“Oh, that? That’s the colonoscope. That’s what we use to perform the colonoscopy.”
“You’re not putting that hideous contraption up my butt!”
“Yes, we are. Okay, now, count from ten backwards.”
“Net, enin, thgie…”
“We’ve got a joker on our hands. Anesthetist! Use your anesthetic mallet to knock the patient unconscious.”
[BONK!]
“I feel sleepy. ZZZZZZzzzzzzz…”
“Good. Now that the patient is out, let’s paaarrr-TAAAYYY!”
[In dreamland…]
“Congratulations! You are now the proud parent of a… turd!”
“Can I see my baby turd?”
“Of course not! We’ve flushed it down the toilet.”
“Murderer!”
“Now, now. It is now in a septic field, living a life of fulfillment.”
[Back to reality.]
“Anesthetist, please bring the patient back to consciousness.”
[BONK!]
“Ouch! What was that for?”
“The anesthetist just undid the anesthesia.”
“I’d like to marry you.”
“Good god! The patient is still under the effects of the anesthesia. Anesthetist!”
[SLAP SLAP]
“Ouch! And what was that for?”
“You said you’d like to marry me. This was to stop the anesthesia’s lingering effects on you.”
“Did I? I don’t remember it.”
“Yes, you suffer from marital amnesia.”
“What about my colon?”
“Good news! You indeed have a colon!”
“Thank god! What more can you tell me?”
“Bad news! You have a rock band colonizing your colon, The Colonists.”
“Hmm… that explains the tinnitus.”
“Nurse, take this patient to the dump.”
“The dump? What for?”
“We’re discharging you, but first we have to charge you.”
“How much?”
“An arm and a leg. Nurse, make sure to amputate this patient prior to the discharge.”
#TheDailyIsotope #AutisticWriters #colonoscopy #microfiction
#AutisticWriters #colonoscopy #microfiction #TheDailyIsotope
My colonoscopy and upper endoscopy are done.
My doctor commented that my diet must be excellent, because my colon is in excellent state. I'm vegetarian.
However, I read the report and I saw there that my colon is redundant. 😭 Since my colon is redundant, I must have some other organ which digests my food.
Actually, redundant is a term of art. It means that my colon is longer than usual and has more twists and turns in it.
As for the upper endoscopy, we found reasons for my GERD and some gastritis. Biopsies were taken. There are treatment options.
I'm up drinking the rest of my colonoscopy prep because the procedure is this morning.
My prep is supposed to be lemon-flavored.
:catthinking:
I guess the folks at the facility that made the prep have ever only tasted suicidal lemons.
:holdthepain:
A few weeks ago I had a colonoscopy and five polyps were removed from me. One of those polyps contained cancerous cells. Thankfully, the cancer cells were isolated to the polyp. If that polyp wasn’t removed it would have evolved into colorectal cancer.
I dodged a bullet and I’m sharing this very personal news because I want to encourage you to be present to and intentional with your health. Cancer doesn’t care that you’re generally quite healthy. Cancer doesn't care if you have no family history of rogue cells. Cancer isn't personal.
Monitor yourself for unusual bumps, cysts and pains. Talk to a doctor about these things. When cancer cells are caught early lives are extended.
Getting in my last food grazings tonight before my diet locks down tomorrow. I get to endure a #colonoscopy on Friday, so I have to abstain from many foods I normally intake. At least the prep the day before isn’t as horrible as it used to be, though it’s quite bad enough. Why do I have to be old anyway?
Crisis averted.
I need to be on a liquid diet Sunday after next for my colonoscopy. I still need energy. I thought about buying apple juice. This would have been a big mistake. The fructose in the apple juice converts to purines, and this is a gout trigger. I had forgotten this fact.
I got black cherry juice instead. More expensive, but I'll be damned if I give myself a gout attack for my colonoscopy.
#colonoscopy #AppleJuice #BlackCherryJuice #gout #GoutAttack #fructose
In October, I'm going to get spit-roasted. I'm going to get an upper endoscopy to see what's going on with my esophagus. I'm likely to be suffering from GERD.
I'm also going to get a colonoscopy as a routine cancer screening.
Both procedures will take place one after the other.
I've started a course of proton pump inhibitor for my GERD yesterday... and... strangely... I feel that my mood has improved. I did a search and found medical articles that talk about the relationship between GERD and depression and anxiety. The relationship apparently goes both ways.
:catthinking:
#GERD #colonoscopy #endoscopy #ProtonPumpInhibitor #depression #anxiety #MentalHealth
As part of a public health campaign, I think it would be a good idea to encourage older folk to get their colonoscopy.
But instead of it being a grim and unpleasant task, it could be rebranded as thing that really cool people do!
I was thinking, maybe a fun Eighties energy, like with someone riding a skateboard, wearing a hospital gown and those weird socks they give you!
Maybe have a logo t-shirt!
"Cool Kids Colonoscopy Club"
What do you think?
マラソンなど過激な運動で大腸がんになりやすくなる？
https://www.matatabi.com/b/1G9, #ColonCancer #colonoscopy #ExtremeExercise #marathon #matatabinews
最近の研究が50歳以下の大腸がん患者の増加が指摘され注意が喚起されたが、今度は、40代のマラソンやそれ以上の距離を競うウルトラマラソン愛好者の大腸がん発症率が、同じ年齢層一般人口よりも多いのではないか、という予備調査の結果が発表された。50歳以下はがんのリスクが低いとされ、さらにランニングには、肥満防止やストレス軽減などの多くのがん発症を防ぐ要素と結び付けられてきた。しかし、3人のマラソンを愛好する40代の進行がん患者に出会ったがん専門医ティモシー・キャノン博士は、過激なランニングと大腸がんの関係に注目し、35－50歳の100人のマラソンやウルトラマラソンランナーを集め、大腸内視鏡検査を行った。その結果、約半数にポリープが見つかり、15％にガンになりやすい進行したアデノーマ（大腸腺腫）が見つかった。アデノーマは一般では40代の4-6%と
