I've said for years that therapy is not just useless but often counterproductive for us #neurodivergent folk. This video is a nice example of that. It *seems* like good advice for the typical person: self-acceptance, self-confidence, growing past your childhood, handling trauma, the usual stuff. But, like every other psychology video I've seen that wasn't specifically focused on neurodivergence, it only speaks to neurotypicals. And the advice the therapist gives is not helpful for people like me.
I'm #AuDHD, so your mileage may vary, but for me, this advice is crap. My challenge isn't self-acceptance or overcoming some irrational fear of rejection. It's the #DoubleEmpathyProblem, and how neurotypicals judge me superficially based on neurological differences that prevent me from doing non-verbal affect their way so we can connect emotionally. It's the #SocialModelOfDisability that lets people declare me the one with the problem because I'm in the minority, so they expect me to always be the one to adapt to their communication style. It's that I don't get to process my childhood trauma of rejection, neglect, and abuse, because I continue to experience that even now in my 60s, and you can't process and heal trauma until you aren't in the traumatizing situation anymore.
If I took this therapist's advice to heart, I would just make things worse for myself. I know, because I have walked that road before, and all that happened was I got lost and hurt. An old therapist of mine told me I just need to be more confident and put myself out there, and people will respond. I actually laughed at her. Then I went out and found an autistic therapist so I didn't have to hear that crap anymore.
This is a big part of why it's hard to be neurodivergent in our society: we are excluded by default. We aren't even an afterthought - we're a neverthought. Nobody thinks of us unless we become a problem they have to deal with. So when we ask to be included, they see us as a problem and usually get defensive and then go on to justify why they forgot about us. How hard would it be for this Mended Light therapist to include a sentence or two saying this advice wasn't for ND folk and we should not try to follow it? How hard would it be for him to include some useful advice for us, which might also help NT folk watching the video to understand us better?
My dear neurokin, be careful consuming advice from people that don't understand us and that isn't meant for us. We're not the same as them, and we don't succeed by acting like we are. And to people making psychology videos, could you maybe remember we exist and include us even when you're not speaking specifically to us?
[Mended Light: How to Get Over the Pain of Rejection and Be Authentically YOU!]
https://youtu.be/3GpY1NefXuQ
