3 more daysβ¦
...and then the horrific year will come to an end...
It's been quite a year. Accidents,other traumatic events, loads of pain (both physical as mental/emotional), and many little things to overcome... Many tears have been shed, and I am afraid I will shed some more before the year is gone... As I still miss Arwen so much every day. She was my soulmate, she gave my life a purpose, in a way. And now, I feel lonely and even useless at times. I have wondered a lot if it was all worth it. If this thing called life was really doing me any good, if all I experience is pain, sadness, loneliness, and to be plagued by many nightmares every time I try to get some rest.
I have an appointment to hopefully start some therapy to learn how to deal with my CPTSD. My GP found me someone that she thinks would be suited to help me with this, so hopefully she will be. I want to move onwards, I want to look forward to new things, positive things. But I keep being pulled back towards the grief of losing Arwen, and the pain of the whole hip issue just before that, through flashbacks, nightmares, and other triggers. So yeah, I am quite ready to be done with 2025, and to start 2026... Especially as there is something very positive to look forward to, if the results of the ultrasound (she'll make it around Jan 25th) are positive... πΎππ€π»
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https://cynnisblog.wordpress.com/2025/12/29/3-more-days/