Getting comfy this weekend at home after a month apart
To make up for the lost day from your holiday to Coldland, your mum let me have you for both Saturday and Sunday.
It’s been about a month since I last kissed your nose, a month since I could give you a squeeze. Such a long time is painful. You’re learning and growing super fast and I feel lost not knowing what words you’ve learnt or new interests you’ve gained.
A delightful happy little thing
I’m continuing to focus our time at home, in preparation for when court finally forces your mum to let me have you overnight. Bathtime together and waking up to your beautiful morning smiles, should come soon!
The best selfie poser!
Saturday
We played at home, you arrived very tired and you had a cold so we took it easy.
You’re comfortable at home. You travel across rooms with familiarity and know which areas are safe to play in and which areas will cause me to run over to move you away (your interest in electricity cables seems to have passed!)
Your understanding is getting very advanced. You seem to understand most things I ask you. For example, I asked for your help bringing the highchair seat and legs and you perfectly understood – even to bring several parts at a time!
Your most used word remains ‘moor’. It’s very useful and so lovely to hear your voice.
Giggles and lunch nibbles
Sunday
We played and I had another cooking activity to do together. The coffee table is the perfect height for you, so I placed a bowl of pasta and the pan there to get your help.
After lunch and listening to music, we went for a walk where we visited the brewery where James met you for the first time, only a few weeks after you were born.
Every time I walk past it, I think of that sunny late summer afternoon when I thought we would be close for years to come. That idea has now been shattered, but my love for you remains unchanged.
We played Connect 4 while I had half a lager. The perfect game to keep you entertained for a few minutes until you went exploring and got compliments from others for being so cute.
Connect 4 at the brewery
On the way home you spoke another of your favourite words. Deedee! Deedee! All smiley and giggily while dogs walk past. A few very friendly pups crossed our path and I was pleased to see you’ve learnt to stroke not pull at their hair!
Saying goodbye
Handing you back to your mum is usually the hardest moment of the week for me. The unpredictability of whether or not I’ll see you the following Sunday and torment from your mum, hurts my mood for the rest of the night.
I still can’t look at our pictures and have to try and distract my thoughts. It’s been almost a year of not being able to go to sleep without exhausting myself first.
Seeing your mum
Your excitement when you see your mum shatters my heart.
Any connection we built up during the day is lost faster than a blink. I try to improve my thoughts by focusing on the idea that your reaction means you’re well looked after. My broken heart reminds me that your life is currently missing my love and incomplete.
Me and your mum love you equally but my love is blocked for now.
Listen through the podcast
#dadLife #dadLove #daughter #familyTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #ILoveYou #IMissYou #makingMemories #parentalAlienation #parenting #preciousMoments #toddlerActivities