I mentioned earlier that I have this weird thing where sometimes I can't do things that I need to do. I had a period of three months where I wouldn't check my payslips, even though I needed to in case I got underpaid. I have frequent periods where I can't check my emails. This is especially if I've emailed someone I'm not close to and am expecting a reply.

As example is if I received faulty goods on Ebay. I've missed out on refunds because I send the complaint, but then I actively avoid checking for a reply.

Does anyone else experience things like this? I was looking at demand avoidance: https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/topics/behaviour/demand-avoidance#What%20is%20demand%20avoidance

But I don't know if it's that or some weird manifestation of #anxiety. The best I can describe it is apprehension? It's hard to put a proper name to it. I get milder forms, where for instance if I need to transfer money to my savings and there's nothing stopping me, but I won't be able to do it. Then randomly I'll snap out of it and feel like I can do it. It's not procrastination or getting distracted. It's a different feeling from that.

@actuallyautistic @neurodiversity

#pda #autism #actuallyautistic #DemandAvoidance #mentalhealth

#Pathological #Demand #Avoidance (PDA) Misconceptions

#Pathologicaldemandavoidance (#PDA) is most often seen in people with #autism, but certain traits also have been seen with people with #ADHD and other sensory processing #disorders. In this video I will talk about what PDA is, why it's often searched with ADHD and autism, strategies that can help those with pathological #demandavoidance, and what it's like living with PDA.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7xHvNw70FCc

I just learned what demand avoidance is and how I could help myself over come it.

Taking showers has been a fight ever since I remember. So I made a list of my hidden demands:

Before the shower:

Finding clean underwear and towels (laundry demand related which is a whole other list)
Brushing my hair out
- finding a brush
- dealing with painful tangles
(Could get a hair cut which includes various demands)

During the shower:

water temperature needs to be good
- waiting for the water temp to be good
- anxiety related to wasting water while waiting
I hate getting water on my face because it goes in to my eyes when I open them
I hate showering with my eyes closed because I’m afraid I’d get hurt

After the shower:

Temperature change when I get out
The feeling of being wet when I exit the bath/shower
Dealing with my wet hair - won’t use a hair dryer because i don’t like how that makes my hair feel dry and unmanageable
Feeling of my skin after I dry off with a towel
Feeling of moist clothing on my skin (I usually go out to the bedroom and completely dry off sitting in front of a fan before I put clothes on)
Still dealing with my wet hair

Interesting how there are so many things that were demanding my energy. No surprise there just the thought of it makes me want to not do it.

#ADHDLIFE
#DemandAvoidance
#neurodivergence

Really hard getting going today, fighting through a not atypical anxiety meltdown about some recent stressors in my family, not to mention all this (waves arms at world). 🫠 Pretty sure learning about #DemandAvoidance on the Internet isn't helping. There is this test and I "passed" https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSc0eFJV5wJzJAw2R9ii2ts_cfTZ8mGKcsdWnehz-XATOSFs3w/viewform so starting to think I might be a bit on the #Autism spectrum. Losing interest in everything

@johnnyprofane1 @cinja Agree! I can see the utility of it to get past the inertia of a writing activity. And then perhaps editing or wholesale rewriting seems “easier.”

Overall the inability for LLM to fact-check themselves is both a liability of their technology and their training material. As I tell my son, never blindly trust everything you see on the Internet. That goes for you too ChatGPT! 😁

#AI #LLM #ChatGPT #DemandAvoidance #ActuallyAutistic #ADHD #AuDHD

anyone on here learning about #pathologicalDemandAvoidance/ #persistentDriveForAutonomy and how it has affected their lives? #pda #demandAvoidance #autism #autistic #adhd #audhd #audhdwomen #ADHDwomen

Speaking of #DemandAvoidance and #ADHD, the impending return of spouse, after nearly three years of #COVID in China, has me making my latest pass through the home for decluttering, tidying, etc. I’ve heard that #AuDHD leads to “level 1” hoarding, such as having difficulty getting rid of detritus. I believe it! Once I can get past my executive issue in initiating tasks, it’s easy! 🤣

Now if only I could avoid #burnout enough to make it easy all the time!

#ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

#TrueStory: I only sign into my email once a week.

This isn't #DemandAvoidance though I do have that and it is connected. It's a way of managing my #anxiety because emails from certain people are, for me like anxiety landmines that will affect me for days. I keep those people only to email communications by never answering their calls and if they text, I ask them to email.

If I need to stay away from anxiety I'll wait until I am ready.

#AutisticOver50
#ActuallyAutistic
@actuallyautistic

Woke up with level 5 (0-9) anxiety this morning. Why?

Because I'm going food shopping.

I'm #ActuallyAutistic and live with constant fear and #anxiety.

For me this is not sensory but #DemandAvoidance because, well, anything could go wrong and then how would I cope? 😱

Even though I do this every couple of weeks it doesn't help. Life is terrifying if your brain is wired to expect something terrible in every unexpected event.

Yet I got past 60 without realising I'm #autistic.
@actuallyautistic

Not-going-to-bed, because "I should probably go to bed" ... it's 1:30am and I haven't actually *done* any of the fun things I wanted to. Because even just wanting to do something (even a special interest / music hobby) feels like a (subconscious) demand. #PDA sucks!
(at least I think this is what's going on... or maybe I'm just burned out)
#actuallyautic #DemandAvoidance @actuallyautistic

@btaroli It might be helpful
not to think of it as "dividing his attention",
but more like "frequently switching, as often as he needs to".

The way it sometimes works for me;
If there's one thing I have to (even if I want to) do, then I'll avoid doing that thing.

But if I have two things,
then I can actively avoid thing #1 by doing #2,
and then when I feel like avoiding #2, switch back to #1.

And in the end, both things may get done, even though I felt like I was working on the wrong thing,
the "wrong thing" is just "another right thing".

It's something I recently realised, I'm planning try and make this magic scenario happen more frequently.

PS, I think (for me) this has something to do with #PDA / #DemandAvoidance
- read up on that and see if it applies...
it was a game changer for me personally!

@callisto maybe for you but for me #DemandAvoidance isn't just when I'm overloaded.

I can be in the best state ever and still avoidant of things that for others are trivial, and which I've done many times before without issue. I'll still struggle and have to either force them or approach them with care and awareness of how this is impacting me.

I'm lucky these days that I don't have to force many things because decades of that screwed my physical health.

@seanwithwords @actuallyautistic Similar: I find it onerous and #DemandAvoidance kicks in.

I've an allistic friend who likes me and I enjoy hanging out with, but sometimes have to say no to even when I'd like to meet up, if I also need quiet (making spoons?). The practical situation also creates barriers, especially as I find it very hard to call him up (or any friend).

In the past, friendship has worked best for me when it arises in a structure. Actually 'arranging' it is so hard for me.

Being #ActuallyAutustic I'm anxious if have a thing to do = all the time. It's a form of 'demand', creates anxiety, big spoon consumer.

I stopped doing todo lists to reduce this anxiety by reducing the number of simultaneous demands. Each time I complete one I get a little respite.

By 'important', I don't mean has to be done fast. I just mean, particularly #anxiety generating.

It doesn't matter if I have weeks to do X, I'll be super anxious until it's done. #DemandAvoidance @actuallyautistic

@rekindled I recognize that #BodyDoubling happens for me, yes. I didn’t know it had a name. I’m not sure of the distinction between #DemandAvoidance snd #ExecutiveFunctioning issues. I can say that when my task issues happen I am anxious, body stiffens and heart races.

Other people trigger/exhaust me too, so I I tend to plan to avoid them whenever possible. That can contribute to my task issues.

Sone tasks have been going for years this way. #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic

After reading a third of #DifferentNotLess by Temple Grandin I could see some things that were relevant but my own searching and things people have shared here (thank you all) have helped me home in on two areas I strongly recognise in myself, that are perhaps responsible for other traits such as routine, planning & rehearsing everything and difficulty w change.

Those are Pathological #DemandAvoidance and #RejectionSensitivity. Maybe also #SocialAnxiety.

@actuallyautistic #ActuallyAutistic

I’ve had a really weird day emotionally. Been stuck in my head and found to difficult to move on things I knew I should. I suppose I could call it #DemandAvoidance but it feels different to me. Thst term sounds willful to me. But maybe I am being? Ugh.

I did manage to get into things where I was participating in a group. Is a key having someone there to be sure I’m on task? Seems onerous. Maybe.

My brain seriously frustrates me.

#ActuallyAutistic #SchroedingersAutist @actuallyautistic

@autisticbookclub @lapingvino @IzabelaKaramia @actuallyautistic

I first heard of Pathological #DemandAvoidance and then someone said they preferred Persistent Demand for Autonomy.

I understand the aversion to 'pathological' but for me the issue is demand avoidance. I do demand autonomy too, but my avoidance is of demands.

That's what was so recognisable to me when I first heard the term and read about how it affected others. I immediately saw myself. #ActuallyAutistic

@lapingvino @doggle @IzabelaKaramia @actuallyautistic #DemandAvoidance is interesting and you'll find very different opinions on this from the Autistic Community.

I agree with the the line of thought that says there isn't a #PDA (Pathological Demand Avoidance or Persistent Demand for Autonomy) subset of Autism, but that all Autistics have Demand Avoidance to differing degrees.

I think it is our overriding desire for Autonomy, which isn't pathological at all, but it does make life difficult.