A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

BALLOT, n. A simple device by which a majority proves to a minority the folly of resistance. Many worthy persons of imperfect thinking apparatus believe that majorities govern through some inherent right; and minorities submit, not because they must, but because they ought.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Ballot,” “Devil’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco Wasp (1881-04-23)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/82483…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

AUTHENTIC, adj. Indubitably true — in someone’s opinion.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Authentic,” “Devil’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco Wasp (1881-04-09)

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

ADAM’S APPLE, n. A protuberance on the throat of a man, thoughtfully provided by Nature to keep the rope in place.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Adam’s Apple,” “Devil’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco Wasp (1881-05-05)

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

ADAGE, n. A hoary-headed platitude that is kicked along the centuries until nothing is left of it but its clothes. A “saw” which has worn out its teeth on the human understanding.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Adage,” “Devil’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco Wasp (1881-03-05)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/81811…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

ABATTOIR, n. A place where cattle slaughter kine. It is commonly placed at some distance from the haunts of our species, in order that they who devour the flesh may not be shocked by the site of blood.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Abattoir,” “Demon’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco News Letter (1875-12-11)

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

INCORPORATION, n. The act of uniting several persons into one fiction called a corporation, in order that they may be no longer responsible for its actions. A, B and C are a corporation. A robs, B steals and C (it is necessary that there be one gentleman in the concern) cheats. It is a plundering, thieving, swindling corporation. But A, B and C, who have jointly determined and severally executed every crime of the corporation, are blameless. It is wrong to mention them by name when censuring their acts as a corporation, but right when praising.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Incorporation,” “Devil’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco Wasp (1885-10-03)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/81536…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

OBLIVION, n. The state or condition in which the wicked cease from struggling and the dreary are at rest. Fame’s eternal dumping ground. Cold storage for high hopes. A place where ambitious authors meet their works without pride and their betters without envy. A dormitory without an alarm clock.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Oblivion,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/81216…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

IMAGINATION, n. A warehouse of facts, with poet and liar in joint ownership.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Imagination,” The Cynic’s Word Book (1906)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/81085…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

BOOK-LEARNING, n. The dunce’s derisive term for all knowledge that transcends his own impenitent ignorance.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Book-learning,” “Devil’s Dictionary” column, San Francisco Wasp (1881-05-14)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/80990…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

TELEPHONE, n. An invention of the devil which abrogates some of the advantages of making a disagreeable person keep his distance.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Telephone,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/80820…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

TRINITY, n. […] The Trinity is one of the most sublime mysteries of our holy religion. In rejecting it because it is incomprehensible, Unitarians betray their inadequate sense of theological fundamentals. In religion we believe only what we do not understand, except in the instance of an intelligible doctrine that contradicts an incomprehensible one. In that case we believe the former as a part of the latter.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Trinity,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/1056/

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

TURKEY, n. A large bird whose flesh when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude. Incidentally, it is pretty good eating.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Turkey,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/80542…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

SUCCESS, n. The one unpardonable sin against one’s fellows.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Success,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/80306…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

SELFISH, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Selfish,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/1057/

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

SELF-EVIDENT, adj. Evident to one’s self and to nobody else.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Self-Evident,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/1059/

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

SCRIPTURES, n. The sacred books of our holy religion, as distinguished from the false and profane writings on which all other faiths are based.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Scriptures,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/1074/

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

SAINT, n. A dead sinner, revised and edited.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
"Saint," The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/21902…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

RUMOR, n. A favorite weapon of the assassins of character.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Rumor,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/1067/

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“Bait,” The Cynic’s Word Book (1906)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/41947…

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A quotation from Ambrose Bierce

HISTORY, n. An account mostly false, of events mostly unimportant, which are brought about by rulers mostly knaves, and soldiers mostly fools.

Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914?) American writer and journalist
“History,” The Devil’s Dictionary (1911)

More info about this quote: wist.info/bierce-ambrose/13455…

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