New Video: My Testimony (They aren’t going to like this!)

I just posted a new video on YouTube. And I have been working on it for A LONG TIME.

I couldn’t even guesstimate how many hours I have put in on this one. Off and on for months.

I wanted it to be just right, because it is THAT important.

I tried to keep the video as short as I possible. It starts with a brief summary of my DHS case, with the help of my beautiful mini-me Bitmoji. I had to include the summary to set the stage for a recording that I made.

Back in 2019, at the hearing for the termination of my parental rights, I recorded myself reading the letter I had written for the judge while I was on the stand.

Check it out! And please do let me know what you think!

https://youtu.be/lmVQXaMDu5o

#BentonCountyDHS #childProtectionServices #childWelfareReform #court #dhsCps #iowa #IowaDHHS #juvenileCourt #letterToJudge #parentalRights #stopLegalKidnapping #terminationOfParentalRights #testimony

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins (Suck Your Food Box Dick)

Five Years.

It’s coming up on the five year anniversary since I said goodbye to my children. It’s hard to believe. It doesn’t seem right, and I’ve had to count the years out on my fingers several times.

2020. 2021. 2022. 2023… 2024.

I have reflected on years past in previous posts, so if you are just tuning in, the links above will get you all caught up.

This article will be long enough, because I could easily write a full blog post for each of the five pumpkins. That is exactly why I am breaking it up into parts.

Five years of digging deep on child welfare and child abuse has brought about many revelations. About the system, the laws, the policies, the actual practices I saw and experienced personally, and the experiences of others around me… revelations about myself. These insights have shaped my views, changing some of them and reinforcing others.

I want to keep it short and sweet, but I have a lot to points to make.

Each pumpkin is like a themed chapter in a book that I wrote specifically for the intended audience. This holiday tradition and my efforts are dedicated to my children, in honor of the loss of our family. The only tradition that even comes close to bringing me joy like holidays used to.

This is the third and final part in this series about Halloween 2024. In Part One, I started the countdown with Pumpkins #5 and #4.

I continued with Pumpkins #3 and #2 in Part Two. And like I said, I had a hard time deciding which pumpkin was #1, because #2 was such a close second…

…but the design on Pumpkin #1 is definitely my favorite of ALL the pumpkins that I have decorated for DHS so far!

Pumpkin #1

Suck Your Food Box Dick!

I wonder if they had any idea what I was talking about when the supervisor and staff members first read it. I picture them scratching their heads and wondering out loud what it meant. Well, in order to explain my inspiration for this original design, I will have to take you back in time a little bit. In addition to answers the big 5 W’s, you will need a little background information.

When?

It was November 8th, 2022, I remember very clearly for several reasons.

• I had been giving the incredible opportunity to sit down for an interview with my friend, Rick Stewart, the Libertarian candidate for governor, and I had been frantically working to publish a blog post about it before the election.

• November 8th was Election Day in 2022!

• Earlier that morning I got up early to watch the Super Full Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse. I sat in the south parking lot at the old West school and watched the whole thing.

If you have ever worked in health care, you already know that the energy is intense during a full moon. Eclipses tend to supercharge the energies of the full or new moon. A lunar eclipse can only happen on a full moon, when the shadow of the earth completely covers the moon, creating an effect that turns the moon red. (Lunar eclipses are also sometimes called blood moons.)

The energy of a full moon is about completion, clearing, and letting go. It can also be a time of heightened emotions, disturbed sleep, and intense dreams. It can trigger the release of pent up emotions, anxieties, grief. This can be a very cathartic experience, allowing us to release emotional baggage and move forward with a lighter heart.

It was a very emotional morning for me, watching the moon and reflecting on the events of the previous couple days. I left the old school parking lot that morning refreshed and full of energy after a good cry. I went home, showered, and got to work finishing my blog post before I set out on a mission to make sure my friends all made it to the voting booth.

Who?

Since I met Lucas, Cami, and Lucas’ three teenage daughters, they’ve truly become like family to me. Just a few months after we met, Lucas’ mom, Jackie, passed away. The girls had lived with Jackie for most of their lives, and they were very close to her. Lucas and Cami had moved in a couple of years earlier when Jackie’s health started to decline, and she needed oxygen. Jackie was in charge and she kept everything running at home. so when her health suddenly took a turn for the worse, it was a huge adjustment for everyone when she passed.

I only met Jackie a few times, but she was always warm and welcoming. Lucas later shared with me that she liked both me and Jim. I think she knew that her clock was ticking. Whenever we talked, she seemed relieved to know that Cami and Lucas had friends like us nearby.

After she was gone, Lucas and Cami did their best to step into Jackie’s shoes; Jim and I were there to help however we could. Lucas quickly became like a brother to me, and Cami, like a sister. It meant a lot to support them as they adjusted to their new roles as the primary caregivers. Three teenage girls are a handful for anyone, but with the added grief of losing the family matriarch, and taking on the responsibilities of managing the household, they understandably struggled at times. I am proud of them for how they pulled together!

The girls and I clicked right away! Jackie had been very protective, and so they had spent a majority of their free time at home. Even at 16 and 17 years old, they had never ventured further away than a 2 block radius from the house! We often joked about going out and exploring the “real world.” Jim and I loved watching them come out of their shells!

We got them out of the house for bike rides, took them out on the river, went camping, celebrated holidays and birthdays together. They came to me with everything from homework to boy problems. I loved being able to help with “teenage girl stuff”—offering advice, support, or just being there when they needed someone to talk to. We shared so many moments that brought us closer, and they filled a big place in my heart.

Where?

There are several homes across eastern Iowa where I am welcome at any time night or day. Safe spaces where I can walk right in, no questions asked… Most of them I have stocked with toiletries and maybe even a change of clothes just in case. Lucas and Cami’s house was one of those places for me.

You see, Jim and I consider his mom’s house to be our “home base,” but honestly nowhere feels like home to me since the kids have been gone. My life is completely and utterly different from what it was before. We like to joke that we aren’t meant to stay anywhere too long, and it’s true.

That may be hard for most people to understand, let alone accept… I get that. Trust me, it’s hard for us to understand and accept sometimes, too. We’ve come to realize that we aren’t meant to have a place to call our own, at least for right now. It is part of our journey and our mission to remain available, should our help be needed. And the universe has a way of directing us to exactly where we are supposed to be…

Anyways… It was a little after noon by the time I made it to Cami and Lucas’ house that day. Lucas worked second shift, so they were still in bed, but they woke up easily enough when they heard me walk in the kitchen. I remember my excitement and they couldn’t help but laugh as I announced the special occasion… “IT’S ELECTION DAY! WAKE UP GUYS!”

They groaned and rolled their eyes as they joined me in the kitchen. I brewed a pot of coffee and we sat down to catch up. It had been a week or two since I had been around, and they had some news.

What?

I could see the frustration and the hurt on Cami’s face as she told me that they were being investigated by DHS. According to the report, Laci had accused Cami of being physically abusive to her, and she had also reported domestic incidences between Cami and Lucas where Laci was injured after trying to intervene.

I felt bad for Cami, because I had been around the house often enough to know that Cami is not mean or abusive in anyway… I had never even seen her raise her voice at the girls! And she didn’t really need to. They were dramatic at times, like any other teenage girl, and kind of lazy. We all had to remind them repeatedly to clean up their rooms, but they really were pretty good kids, so I was surprised to hear that Laci was saying these things!

Lucas talked about his phone conversation and meeting with the case worker. He reassured Cami that he didn’t think that the allegations were true, and he wasn’t sure why Laci would say that either. He didn’t seem very concerned about the investigation, but Cami was still upset.

So we talked about the things that I tell every parent about dealing with DHS:

• You do not have to:
  • answer their questions!
    • They think you are guilty of abusing your child! And they are looking for every bit of evidence that they can find, so they can take it to the county attorney and file a court case against you.
    • Well meaning parents might think it will “look better” if they cooperate. Respectfully decline to respond to their questions, and do not give them permission to meet with your child again (because chances are- they already did!). They may act like you are required to, but the fact is anything you say can and will be twisted and used against you in a court of law.
  • let them into your home!
    • in fact, I advise against it. Once you allow them into your home, you are basically waiving your 4th, 5th, and 6th amendment rights!
  • submit to drug testing or any other intervention without a court order!
    • Never go to a doctor or lab recommended by CPS. They are contracted by DHHS/CPS, this is a conflict of interest, and the results are “indisputable” unless it suits their agenda (trust me!)
• If you DO decide to talk to them… RECORD EVERYTHING- every phone call, every face-to-face conversation, every time.
  • Download a call recorder app. I have used Cube ACR in the past. You can set it up to automatically record, and then you can shut it off after starting a call if you don’t need it to be. That app even records messenger calls!
  • When it comes down to it, it’s your word against theirs. They do not record, their reports are written after the fact
    • I have caught several untrue statements when reviewing reports in the past.
  • Consider carrying a back up option for recording conversations just in case. In addition to my phone that has both a call recording app and a recording app, I also carry a digital recorder with me wherever I go.
• Remember this PRICELESS advice I had drilled into my head in nursing school:

If you didn’t document it, you didn’t do it!

I cover this information and a bunch more tips and tricks for parents to help them be a PROACTIVE parent and avoid DHHS/CPS involvement in my mini course: PROTECT YOUR FAMILY!

I remember saying, “Okay, enough lecturing…” and shifting the conversation to the election, when we heard someone knocking on the front door on the other side of the house. I am not sure how, but I immediately had a feeling that I knew who it was…

Cami and Lucas looked at each other and then me, surprised. Neither one of them were expecting company, and neither of them made a move to go answer the door, so I jumped up from my seat and walked out into the front porch. The family never used that door, and the windows were covered with blinds and blankets to help insulate from the cold. The plastic was still in place, so I had no choice but to peek through the blinds and I saw a lady standing on the front step, clipboard in hand.

Our eyes met briefly before I let the blinds close again. I didn’t say a word, just turned around and went back to where Lucas and Cami were sitting. Lucas was irritated when I told them who was outside and said they didn’t mention anything about stopping by today when he spoke with them the day before. Cami was already stressed, and her anxiety shot through the roof. Lucas and I both reminded her that she didn’t have to answer the door. She calmed a little bit, but when the woman knocked again, louder this time, Cami headed towards the door.

I walked with her, reminding her what I had literally JUST SAID- that she doesn’t have to answer questions or let her in the house. I could see she was on the verge of tears as she reached out to open the door, so I grabbed her phone and pulled up the play store to download an app. I heard them talking, and I tried to hurry but the download seemed to take FOREVER

“If you are going to talk to her, at least record it!” I told her as I handed her the phone. Then I grabbed my backpack and headed to the bathroom, figuring this would be a good time for me to brush my teeth and finish putting on my makeup.

I listened to their conversation as they walked through the house. I could hear the judgement in the woman’s voice as she questioned Cami. Cami agreed to let her in, and walked her through the house to show her the girls’ room. She made a derogatory comment about the dog shit on the living room floor. It was Laci’s job to clean up after Jackie’s cute little chihuahua, Jax- and she had really been slacking!

I will admit that I had a few smart ass remarks to what I was hearing and I tried my best to stay out of it. She was right behind Cami as they walked into the kitchen. She looked in the bathroom at me and asked my name. I was short with her when I told her. She asked why I was there, and I told her we were going to the food pantry and shut the door. I heard Cami tell her that I was there to get them to go vote as she walked her to the door.

I was proud of myself for keeping my cool. I had so much that I wanted to say, but I knew that my words would fall on deaf ears. I told Lucas and Cami that I would stop back and I walked to the food pantry. I was frustrated and needed to take a walk, then I saw that case worker at the gas station. She was parked by the gas pumps, using paper towels to clean the bottom of her shoes with a disgusted look on her face. I had no doubt that she was thinking about Cami and Lucas’ house. That just pissed me off more.

After I grabbed the food, I asked the ladies if Brody was in his office. They could tell that I was upset. They told me that he wasn’t in, but as I turned around to leave, I saw him pulling in to the parking lot.

Brody is the high-risk unit probation officer for Benton County. He’s a good dude… the kind of probation officer that people respect, because he is fair and he’s not trying to catch anyone up on bullshit. I wasn’t on probation at the time, but I still went to see him from time to time. We have good conversations about life and I’d like to think he respects me in return, because he knows I’m not on bullshit.

I was fighting back tears when I walked up to him before he even had a chance to get his stuff out of the car. I didn’t even try to keep my voice down as I talked to him about Lucas and Cami and that case worker. He didn’t know them but he listened to me patiently as I unloaded my frustrations. See, it’s one thing for someone to pick on me, hurt me, try to break ME… but I can NOT stand the thought of anyone hurting the people that I love…

They had already taken my children, right? So I didn’t have the motivation to bite my tongue like I did when I was fighting for my family. I’ve always thought that was rather risky for them to do… Obviously they didn’t know me when I was younger!!

I can’t remember everything I said, but I do remember yelling that they (DHS) needed to leave my friends alone, and how they didn’t know their head from their asses when it comes to actually helping people. I yelled about the people that have my sons and the $1000 they get paid in adoption subsidies every month per kid. He motioned for me to calm down, looking behind me. I turned around and saw that case worker walking from her car to the door.

“That’s the bitch right there! I am more qualified for her job than she is! Except you couldn’t pay me enough to steal people kids!”

She sneered at me before she turned to walk through the door. I turned back to Brody and he kind of chuckled as he told me again to calm down. The smile on his face caught me off guard, and I let out a big sigh and said, “Well, its’ true.”

We stood there talking for a few minutes more as my blood pressure slowly returned to normal. I apologized for yelling at him, and he said he understood. I know he really doesn’t. Very few people truly do.

Why?

Later that same day, I went back to Cami and Lucas’ house. The girls were home from school, and I pulled Laci aside to talk to her. With Lucas’ permission, I had to ask about the accusations. And once Laci started answering my questions, I stopped and asked if it was okay to record our conversation. I still have that recording.

Laci told me that the case worker had pulled her out of class again that afternoon. She shared with us that the first time she was pulled out of class for almost 2 hours. And that day, she had been pulled out of class again for another hour. Strangely though, she said the case worker didn’t ask her anything more about the allegations she had made…

Laci said the case worker spent the entire hour asking her about me and Jim. She asked about my relationship with their family and if I lived with them. She made the comment to Laci that she didn’t make $1000 a week, which was interesting because I didn’t say anything to Laci about my conversation with Brody… Laci also said that the case worker told her “not to listen to me, because I am crazy.”

Isn’t that nice? But that’s not all…

It was a couple weeks later when I stopped back at Cami and Lucas’ house. They had let me know that the assessment came back unfounded, but when I got there Cami was excited to show me the report they had gotten in the mail.

I sat down with the envelope and pulled out the packet of paperwork. I read it quietly while Cami made dinner, and bust out laughing when I got to the part she was waiting for me to read… I could hardly believe it, but there it was right there in black and white!

Written as if she were quoting me directly… “This is food bank day. Suck my food box dick.”

Wow! As absurd as it was, her sad attempt at talking shit caught on and became an inside joke. I laughed it off, because anyone that knows me would know it was completely ridiculous! And Lucas and Cami were standing right there! They will tell you that I didn’t say anything like that!

So I tried to brush it off, but then one night I had a genius idea! I spent way more time than I would like to admit creating a t-shirt image for “suck your food box dick” the way I saw it in my mind. I put together a couple different options and we even polled our friends to see which font was the best. I am interested to hear what you think, so don’t let me down…

By the way, that’s not all she had to say about me…

https://youtube.com/shorts/Jemm_Z_gtmY?feature=share

But Wait… There’s More!

Just in case you were feeling kinda skeptical. Like this was just some fluke, an isolated incident of ridiculousness…

I also wanted to share this allegation reported against me back in 2021…

…This report Supervisor Mindy Druschel to grant the child protective worker CONFIDENTIAL ACCESS to Jim’s children. This means they are able to pull Jim’s kids out of class and question them for as long as they deem necessary, behind closed doors, without a parent’s permission.

Because I was allegedly observed “smoking out of a metal curved pipe, exhibiting “jerky” movements, and scratching at my skin…”

When the caller (quite obviously the former neighbor who was always really fake nice) said our “home” was raided… he or she must be referring to the day that the City of Vinton destroyed and stole everything we owned, including the organic medicinal herb garden (NOT marijuana) from Jim’s property in the name of “nuisance abatement” (Read about their Legal Theft.)

I know for a fact that man never saw me smoke anything out of a “curved metal pipe,” but I do remember feeling watched and looking over to see him staring at me through the blinds while I was pulling weeds and cleaning up outside just a few days before the allegation was made. Totally not creepy at all…

For the record, both of these allegations were NOT CONFIRMED.

Due Process

The following Introduction to CIVIL LIBERTIES WITHOUT EXCEPTION: NCCPR’s Due Process Agenda for Children and Families has been copied directly from the National Coalition For Child Protection Reform‘s website.

Suppose, when he was attorney general, William Barr had proposed anti-terrorism legislation with the following provisions:

Special anti-terrorism police could search any home without a warrant – and stripsearch any occupant — based solely on an anonymous telephone tip.  Any occupant of the home could be detained for 24 hours to two weeks without so much as a hearing – and they’ll probably be detained far longer because, in the special anti-terrorism court set up by this legislation, all the judges are afraid to look soft on “terrorists.”

At that first hearing the detainees may – or may not – get a lawyer just before the hearing begins, and they almost never get effective counsel.

At almost every stage, the standard of proof is not “beyond a reasonable doubt” or even “clear and convincing” but merely “preponderance of the evidence,” the lowest standard in American jurisprudence, the same one used to determine which insurance company pays for a fender-bender. 

And in most states, all the hearings and all the records are secret.

Had Barr proposed such legislation, it’s reasonable to expect that civil libertarians would have responded with fury.

Yet this hypothetical anti-terrorism law already is the law governing the system we call “child welfare.”  And sadly, many who in other circumstances are quick to defend civil liberties either stand silent or support it.

Indeed, at a time when the racial bias of police forces is getting widespread attention, it’s urgent to understand that child protective services workers are also a police force.  The family police, as they should properly be called, have even more power than the police in blue uniforms.  A police officer can throw a Black child against a wall and frisk him.  A family police (CPS) caseworker can march right into that child’s home, interrogate him, stripsearch him, and take him away from his family on the spot.

The National Coalition for Child Protection Reform believes the only way truly to protect children is to demand civil liberties without exception. There can be no true child protection when a government agency is given virtually unchecked power, almost no accountability, and operates in secret. 

That is why enacting meaningful due process protections for families is even more important than improving the “services” they receive from child welfare agencies.

Since 2000, NCCPR has issued more than 30 reports on 20 state or local child welfare systems.  Below, with updates, are some of the due process recommendations from these various reports. (click link to download)

Many people are surprised to find out that getting placed on the child abuse registry doesn’t require a criminal conviction or even a court trial. In Iowa, accusations can be “founded” and added to the registry based on vague or unreliable evidence. This means someone can be labeled as an abuser without the chance to fully defend themselves, creating a system that’s prone to mistakes. Being on the registry can ruin a person’s reputation, making it hard to get a job, find housing, or maintain relationships—all without proof of criminal wrongdoing.

Often, reports of abuse or neglect are based on subjective opinions or hearsay. These reports can stem from misunderstandings or even personal conflicts between adults. Caseworkers analyze the information and decide whether to add someone to the registry, but their decisions can be influenced by biases, lack of training, or the overwhelming number of cases they handle. Mistakes in this process can have long-lasting consequences for the accused, even if the accusations aren’t entirely accurate.

Being listed on the child abuse registry can turn a person’s life upside down. It’s especially damaging for people who work in fields like education, healthcare, or childcare, where even a suspicion of abuse can end a career. But the impact goes beyond those industries—employers in any field might see the listing and assume the worst. This creates a situation where innocent people can’t move forward or rebuild their lives, trapping them in a cycle of punishment without proper evidence or due process.

Fixing the child abuse registry is crucial to protecting everyone’s rights. While it’s important to keep kids safe, the system also needs to do a better job of ensuring that families are not subjected to unnecessary stress and trauma. Most importantly, people need a clear and fair way to appeal their placement on the registry. Without these changes, innocent people will continue to face unnecessary harm, and the system will fail to deliver the justice it was meant to uphold.

To give a young, inexperienced worker the power of God, send her out on what she is convinced is a godly mission to rescue innocent children from the scum of the earth — knowing that there will be no penalty for removal and hell to pay if she leaves the child home and something goes wrong — and then expect her to exercise self-restraint is more than can be expected of most human beings.

Richard Wexler (May 2022) in “CIVIL LIBERTIES WITHOUT EXCEPTION:
NCCPR’s Due Process Agenda for Children and Families“

More information on the Child Abuse Registry and working to get your name cleared below.

Just the Facts, Ma’am!

I have written about cognitive biases and logical fallacies before. Repeating myself hear on these points seems redundant at this point. Either they are listening, or they aren’t… I am sick to my stomach about it, but I can’t force anyone to see the error in their ways.

“Stop saving us from our families. Save our families FOR us!”

– A youth in foster care

https://youtu.be/cegl1BZ-0tI?si=8OgfsA9sjnpU-B28

Falsely Accused?

And from Psychology Today… How to Stop False Accusations in their Tracks

Clearing Your Name

You need to be aware that there is a very limited 90 day window after the outcome of a child abuse assessment has been decided to take action in order to appeal the decision. Unfortunately, from what I have read, there are no easy avenues to appeal the information on the registry outside that timeframe.

How does it affect me if I am placed on the abuse registry?

Although these are two separate registries, if you have a “founded” abuse report on either one, you may not be able to work with children or dependent adults. With both, you may lose your job if you currently work with those groups of people. If you work with children or dependent adults, or if you apply for a job where you would, then the employer has a right to certain abuse information. They can find out if you are on the abuse registry. They must ask you to sign a release for them to check the registry.

What can I do if I think the HHS decision is wrong?

You can appeal the decision. If you believe you are not guilty of child abuse, you have 90 days to file an appeal from the date of the written notice finding that you have abused a child.

If you appeal a dependent adult abuse finding within 15 days, HHS cannot place you on the abuse registry until final agency action is taken. If you do not file an appeal within 15 days, then you have 60 days to appeal the dependent adult abuse decision, but your name will be placed on the registry until the final outcome of the appeal. You must send a written request for a correction of the child abuse or dependent adult abuse finding to HHS. If you do not send your request for an appeal of the decision within90 days for child abuse or six months for dependent adult abuse, you may not be able to get your name off the registry. Your appeal should say why you think your name should not be on the Registry and that you would like to have a hearing about the decision to put your name on the Registry. Be sure to include the incident number from the HHS decision.

I’m working now in a nursing home and have been placed on one of the abuse registries. Can I keep working?

Your employer can ask HHS to do an evaluation and see if you may still be able to work with children or dependent adults. If HHS says you cannot work with these groups of people, you may appeal this decision. Unlike the 90 days or six months to appeal a founded abuse report, you have just thirty days to appeal a decision by HHS that you may not work with children or dependent adults, or that you may not be the sole supervisor of them. You must send a written appeal and explain why you think you should be able to work with these groups of people. If you do not send an appeal within 30 days, your appeal might not be granted. In order for a late appeal to be granted, you must show what is called “good cause.” Good cause means you had a good reason for not filing an appeal on time.

Where can I go for help with an appeal?

Iowa Legal Aid may be able to help people with their appeals. Call 1-800-532-1275 to make an application for assistance.

Iowa Legal Aid provides help to low-income Iowans. 

To apply for help from Iowa Legal Aid:

• Call 800-532-1275.
• Iowans age 60 and over, call 800-992-8161.
• Apply online at iowalegalaid.org

Last Review and Update: Mar 17, 2023

What can I do if I do not agree with the finding in the Child Abuse Assessment Report?
If you are the person who is alleged to be responsible for the abuse (or one of them), you can appeal the decision.  You must file the appeal within 90 days of the decision. To file an appeal, you need to send a written and signed statement to the DHS Appeals Section, 1305 E Walnut Street, Des Moines, Iowa 50319-0114 (or file an appeal electronically, as explained below). The written statement needs to include the reason you don’t agree with the findings in the Assessment.
You can also appeal the decision electronically. There are online appeal forms, in English and Spanish, available at https://hhs.iowa.gov/programs/appeals/how-appeal.
If you are the subject of the report and believe some information is wrong in a Child Abuse Assessment, you can make a request for correction of the information.  This request is made to the local DHS office, whose address will be on the letter that comes with the Assessment.  You can only request a correction within 90 days of the decision.
An appeal and a request for correction are different things (but both have a 90 day deadline). If you have any questions, you should contact a private attorney.  

Who has access to Child Abuse Assessment Reports?
Child Abuse Assessment Reports are confidential and protected. Only certain people have access to the Reports. The people who have access to the Assessment Report depends on what type of finding is made in the Report. Generally, the parent, guardian, or a custodian of the child will have access. The court, certain agencies, or others may also have access.

How do I get a copy of a Child Abuse Assessment Report if I am an authorized person?
You can request a copy by filling out a “Request for Child and Dependent Adult Abuse Information” form and emailing, faxing, or mailing it to the Central Abuse Registry at the Iowa Department of Health and Human Services. You can get a copy of the form by going to https://hhs.iowa.gov/ and entering 470-3301 in the search box.  The email, fax, and mailing address for the Central Abuse Registry are on the top of the first page of the form.

If I am an authorized person or have a copy of a Child Abuse Assessment, can I share it with other people?
No! There are laws about who child abuse information can be shared with. It is a crime to share the information or release the documents to anyone who is not authorized to have access to the information. You can find more information about the rules against releasing or sharing child abuse information on the second page of the “Request for Child and Dependent Adult Abuse Information” form. Please talk to an attorney before you share child abuse information with anyone.

Last Review and Update: Oct 08, 2024

Check out the article from Rise Magazine (2020) Clearing Your Name After an Investigation: How to Seal and Amend Your Record.

The Children’s Bureau– an office of the Administration for Children and Families- reports that Child Welfare Information Gateway, a service of the Children’s Bureau, provides information about the laws governing the central registry in each state in the following summaries of state statutes:

Review and Expunction of Central Registries and Reporting Records summarizes state laws regarding central registries and the expungement of records, or review laws specific to Iowa.

Disclosure of Confidential Child Abuse and Neglect Records summarizes state laws regarding the protection of confidential child abuse and neglect records, or review laws specific to Iowa.

Per the Iowa DHHS website:

“The requestor will receive response from HHS informing if there IS or IS NOT a record of child abuse listing the person as responsible for a founded, registry placed child abuse assessment. Upon further request, the central abuse registry can provide more specific report data. Information regarding re-dissemination, criminal penalties, and appeals are included on the requesting form.”

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#1 #14thAmendment #2 #3 #4 #5 #centralRegistry #checkmate #ChildAbuseAssessment #ChildProtectionWorkers #childWelfareReform #CivilRights #DHS #dueProcess #fakeVirtue #falseAllegations #familyPreservation #Halloween #healers #iowa #IowaDHHS #lies #NationalCoalitionForChildProtectionReform #PROTECTYOURFAMILY #pumpkin #recordEverything #stopLegalKidnapping #SYFBD

DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst

Last updated

Several weeks ago, I received a letter in the mail from Senator Joni Ernst. I missed a couple of attempts by her office to reach me via email to follow up on the information I submitted on her website. I had made a few small changes to personalize it for her before sending essentially the same content I had included in My Message to Governor Reynolds.

The letter from Senator Ernst, accompanied by a release of information form, reassured me that once completed and received, “an inquiry will be initiated immediately on my behalf.”

I discovered last weekend that on July 19, 2022, I received an brief email from Senator Ernst’s office, encouraging me to review the attached letter they had received from the Legislative Liaison, Maddie Wilcox. Upon receiving the inquiry regarding my case, Ms. Wilcox asked the Cedar Rapids Services Area Administration to review and report back. This is the information they compiled.

Below, I will share the 6-page document I prepared in response. I expected stronger arguments from the department to counter the bold truths I had shared about them in my plea for help to Senator Ernst. Before I offer a brief synopsis regarding the cases listed in the letter, I would like to clarify the difference between unconfirmed, unfounded, confirmed, and founded reports:

“Unconfirmed” means that upon completion of a child protection assessment, the department has determined, based upon a preponderance of the evidence, that a child does not meet the definition of an abused or neglected child.

“Unfounded” refers to a report where the local children and youth agencies determine that allegations of child abuse are not substantiated

“Confirmed” reports are when child abuse/neglect occurred but it was minor, isolated, and not likely to reoccur, and the perpetrator was not placed on the child abuse registry.

“Founded” reports indicate that child abuse/neglect occurred, and the perpetrator is listed on the child abuse registry.

I will provide greater detail below, but here is a quick recap of the cases they listed:

• Case #1- September 2006 to May 2007 was UNCONFIRMED, UNFOUNDED
• Case #2- September 2007 to March 2008 was CONFIRMED, UNFOUNDED
  • Noah was born December 2008
• Case #3- May 2011 to December 2011 was UNCONFIRMED, UNFOUNDED
• Case #4- March 2013 to February 2014 was FOUNDED
  • Elijah was born December 2013
• Case #5- February and July 2018- this assertion was stated in such a way that it is misleading, and although the reports were FOUNDED against me, this determination was based on untrue statements and cognitive bias, rather than the facts.
• the multiple infractions in violation of my contract with the Iowa Board of Nursing came as the direct result of their failure to return contact with the INAP Director.
• The decision I made to self-suspend my nursing license was presented to me as the best option due to their negligence.
• Self-suspension of my Registered Nursing license does not automatically strip me of the knowledge, skill set, or critically thinking or decision making skills I developed as a professional skilled nurse
• Self-suspension of my nursing license does not diminish my capacity to make medical or mental health decisions for my child in cooperation with my children’s medical care team.
• The drug testing I completed for the Department of Human Services and my probation officer showed the last positive test result obtained 1/4/2019 by my PO indicated marijuana use.
• Two patch test results showed trace positive results in October and November for methamphethamine- my objections to the validity of those results were ignored.
• Despite providing significant documentation from my doctor as to the severe adhesive allergy symptoms I exhibited with the sweat patch adhesive, and the prescription antihistamines I had to take to keep those symptoms at bay while wearing the patch, my case worker continued to order them.
• I was unlawfully charged with the possession of marijuana and paraphernalia, despite the owner claiming full responsibility and pleading guilty to both counts. I refused to plead guilty to the same possession charges, so court was continued several times until I finally accepted the plea agreement in February 2020.
• I was sentenced to complete the program at the Waterloo Women’s Center for Change over 1.5 grams of marijuana and a pot pipe that was not mine.
• A hair test taken in July 2019 following the removal of my children after the bogus possession charges came back clean for all substances, strong evidence in my favor that I had not been using.
• A timeline of events in my case would provide a clear visual to outline the sluggish progression and questionable decision making process of the team under the leadership and direction of the DHS caseworker.

My Initial Response

Tell Me What You Think

I earnestly want to hear your opinion. I want to understand all sides. The only way we will be able to move forward as a society is if we take all sides into consideration as we work to figure out how to fix this.

Before I was able to finish this post, I began to write a second letter to Senator Ernst. I had some profound revelations that lead me to understand a better way of addressing all of the huge hurdles we face. Instead of pointing fingers and placing blame, we need to look to the future. In order to overcome all the challenging aspects, we need to have a complete understanding from all aspects.

No name calling or hurtful comments directed at a specific person please… Let’s have an honest discussion in the comments.

Sign My Petition

I am grateful that Senator Ernst is paying attention, but if we want our elected leaders to take this issue seriously, we need to stand together. I have put together a petition asking for a complete overhaul of the system in Iowa, and I need your help!

Update February 2025

BIG things have been happening since then. Just to recap since Fall 2023…

Some things were good, some were great…

Halloween 2023: Pumpkins for Family Preservation

I jumped into politics

Caucus 2024

Proud Member of the Libertarian Party!

Are You Sick of the Two Party System, too?

Update for February 2024

Ashley Meredith for Iowa House

A Little Photo Shoot

Interview with Political Lens

read more on the official website for
Ashley Meredith for Iowa House

I started publishing my courses!

Creating Holistic Goals

Protect Your Family

I wrote some great articles…

Key Points from the EMF Summit

Wastebook: The Infuriating Yearly Report on Wasteful Government Spending

The Raver’s Manifesto

The Twelve Universal Laws series

Rules for Civil Conversation

I published my 1st YouTube videos!

My Very First YouTube Video!

Remember, Remember the 5th of November: It’s Election Day!

New Video: My Testimony (They aren’t going to like this!)

And the 2024 Halloween tradition didn’t disappoint…

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins Part 1

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins Part 2

Halloween 2024: Five Years of Pumpkins SYFBD

But some things were… pretty freaking horrifying actually. My nightmares coming true…

Do They Read My Letters?

Five Years After the Hearing to Terminate my Parental Rights

Update to Senator Ernst

February 6, 2025

Today I typed up an update and submitted it to Senator Ernst on her website, pleading for her help.

Subject: Urgent Request for Assistance in Reinstating Parental Rights

Dear Senator Ernst,

I hope this message finds you well. I want to thank you again for your assistance asking Iowa DHS for more information in 2022. I am writing to provide an update on my situation and to seek your assistance in the reinstatement of my parental rights concerning my two sons.

I learned in July 2024 that Josh and Ashley Drew, the adoptive parents of my children, were facing serious charges related to child endangerment, and their phones and laptops were seized in February 2024. In December 2024, Josh pled to a lesser charge, while Ashley was convicted of felony child endangerment. A reporter recently contacted me about their upcoming sentencing hearing, and informed me that the child victim in their case “almost died, temporarily lost use of his legs, was way underweight… was locked in his room with nothing but urine and feces.” Notably, the other eight children in the home, including my two sons, appeared to have been well cared for. However, I am deeply concerned about the potential impact on their mental health due to possible exposure to such traumatic events and their prolonged separation from me over the past five years.

Given these developments, I am earnestly seeking guidance and support to initiate the process of reinstating my parental rights and reuniting with my children. I understand that Iowa law may not currently provide a direct mechanism for reinstatement after termination. However, considering the circumstances, I am hopeful that exceptions can be made or alternative legal avenues explored.

Your advocacy and assistance in this matter would be invaluable. I am committed to providing a safe and nurturing environment for my sons and believe that reestablishing our family bond is in their best interests.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to your response.

Sincerely,

Ashley Meredith

Support my work by sharing this blog post! Thank you in advance for your help spreading the word about this important information!

RELATED POSTS

6 responses to “DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst”

1. Five Years after the Hearing to terminate my parental rights – Iridescent Alchemyst February 6, 2025 Edit

   […] through. She submitted an inquiry to Iowa DHS on my behalf. You can read my initial response to Senator Ernst after DHS Offers Justification to Senator Ernst. And if you read that email, you should definitely read the second one- Forgiveness is the way to […]

   Reply
2. My Message to Governor Reynolds – Ashley Meredith for Iowa House June 17, 2024 Edit

   […] more about how DHS justfied their actions and my initial response, how I was able to forgive, the wish I made for a Christmas miracle, and […]

   Reply
3. My Message to Governor Reynolds – Iridescent Alchemyst September 3, 2023 Edit

   […] more about how DHS justfied their actions and my initial response, how I was able to forgive, the wish I made for a Christmas miracle, and […]

   Reply
4. Writ of Quo Warranto – Iridescent Alchemyst November 29, 2022 Edit

   […] the letter I wrote in response when DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst. Then read about all the forgiving I have done in the 2nd response letter I sent off days later: […]

   Reply
5. Forgiveness Is The Way To Freedom – Iridescent Alchemyst November 29, 2022 Edit

   […] will share the first email and attached letter in a related blog post titled “DHS Offers Justifications to Senator Ernst” Please also watch for another related post, “Thank You, Senator Ernst!” because I am eager […]

   Reply
6. The Parental Rights Movement – Iridescent Alchemyst August 30, 2022 Edit

   […] to Senator Joni Ernst, the department cited TWO unconfirmed, unfounded cases as part of their justification for terminating my parental rights! This means that not only are state workers wasting precious […]

   Reply

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Five Years after the Hearing to terminate my parental rights

If you caught my story on Facebook or Snapchat a few weeks ago, then you already know.

Josh and Ashley Drew were scheduled to be at Washington County Courthouse for a pre-trial conference on Friday, November 22, 2024. Ironically, the last time I had seen them face-to-face was at my hearing to terminate my parental rights. Five years earlier TO THE DAY.

Road Trip

I got up early and put on my favorite dress. Jim and our friend, Melissa, and I hit the road at 08:11 AM. We struggle with making it anywhere on time, so I was proud of us.

My stomach was in knots the whole ride there.… One hour and six minutes. Sixty-three point eight miles…

I had been counting down to this date for months… Since I found out about their charges. I shared with you about them in my post Do They Read My Letters?

I prayed it hadn’t been continued! So I checked Iowa Courts Online again. (Love that site. Very useful! Look up my record while you are there- but I guarantee the slide show and accompanying blog post will be insanely more entertaining!!)

Nothing new had been posted… So I took another deep breath, lit a cigarette, and pulled out my phone to play some tunes. I have a playlist for my children- ‘I miss my babies‘- but I didn’t want to cry my makeup away. I needed to stay calm… try happy music.

Ok, Geordie Kieffer. His music always lifts my spirits! 🙂 So I set up a decent queue, secured my phone to the dash, and pulled out my bag. I brought some cards that I picked out especially for them, and I started writing.

/image- card for Josh
/image- card for Ashley

At the very least, I would give the cards to them. Or stick them under the wiper blade on their windshield if they wouldn’t talk to me… No, I had no intention of taking NO for an answer!

I took the selfies that you are seeing on the drive down to share what we were up to on my social media accounts. I thought a little extra positive energy for a good outcome wouldn’t hurt. And I needed it!

I was finally going to have the opportunity for a face-to-face conversation with the people that fostered, then adopted my sons. The people that had denied me contact with them since they were last taken from me on December 14, 2019.

I wanted to know WHY?!?! And I wanted to know WTH was going on. Class C Felonies for two people that barely had a speeding ticket before that. The way the charges were brought was weird, the crazy high bond amount they paid to get out of jail, the regular trips out of state, and the search warrants…? I couldn’t understand what had happened.

And… I hoped and prayed like hell that maybe…maybe I would get to see the boys. Noah will be 16 next month, Elijah will be 11. They were 10 and 5 when they were taken.

Pit Stop

There’s a little town right off Highway 218 about 30 minutes south of Coralville. There’s a truck stop sitting right there when you get off the exit. I had stopped there five and a half years ago, on the way to my son Elijah’s preschool graduation. I bought him the cutest little blue Owl for a gift.

We made a quick stop there on our way to Washington so I could run inside. I really hoped that I would find another little blue owl. It’s wasn’t Eli’s Sweetie Bird, but Sweetie Bird was long gone.

/image

I had another blue owl that was identical to it, just a little bigger, too. One for Eli, one for Noah. Grandpa bought it for me at Theisen’s over a year later. I cried when I saw it…

The two of them were hanging out in a bird cage alongside my grandmother’s birdfeeders at Jim’s lot the day the city “abated a nuisance.” And by that, I mean they stole all of our things…

I was cautiously optimistic that they would have the same stuffed animal. I check every Ty Beanie Boo display I come across at stores and gas stations. It was a 2019 edition, so I know it’s unlikely, but I check anyway.

They didn’t have blue owls, but they had two tiny black owls. They were dressed up for Halloween with little red sparkly horns. I meant to cut them off, but I just realized that I didn’t. I hope they didn’t read anything into that… facepalm.

The Courthouse

I lit another cigarette as we pulled into town. I watched nervously as our destination got closer on Google maps. We drove by the east side of the building and back around the block. As we turned the corner back onto west Main St, I pointed ahead and told Jim, “Park right beside a large van.”

I had never seen their vehicle before, but I had a strong feeling it was theirs. The bumper stickers on the back window were a dead giveaway, even if they didn’t have their name displayed. #DREWCREW

I finished my cigarette and mustered up the courage to go inside. Holding the envelopes in my hand, I pushed open the truck door and a strong cold wind instantly cooled the toasty warm cab. I muttered, “Wish me luck…” before slipping out and heading toward the door.

Once inside, I stood there for a minute to take some deep breaths. I had been rehearsing what I would say, trying to manifest the best possible outcome for months, but my mind was blank. A few people shuffled past me, coming and going in the little entryway, but I barely registered they were there.

The sign on the wall said COURTHOUSE 3RD FLOOR. I opted for the stairs; it gave me more time to think.

I wasn’t winded, but my heart was beating so loud when I reached the top step. I swear the people sitting there could hear it, but I kept my poker face on.

I stepped through the doorway and gazed clockwise around the room. Finally, to my right, seated in a little conference room, facing me, with the door open, was Josh. We locked eyes. I held his gaze and nodded slightly as I walked to the chair closest to him. My back to the doorway, I tried to listen in on the conversation as I sat there.

Just a couple minutes later, Josh walked out. He didn’t see me as he crossed the room and turned around to sit down, again facing me. As he sat, we locked eyes again. He paused for a moment, and a weird kind of smile crossed his face before taking his seat and pulling out his phone. I assume he was texting Ashley and confirming that it was me.

I snapped a quick picture of him and glanced up a couple times to see if I could make eye contact again while he pointedly avoided my stare. All of a sudden, tears started falling. I couldn’t even try to stop them.

Dammit, why didn’t I think of tissues?!

The woman sitting next to me glanced over and I felt all the eyes in the room when she said, “Oh my God, are you okay?”

I quietly told her yes and thanked her, hoping she would leave it at that. What would I say if she asked why I was crying, anyway?

Josh got up and walked back to the room where he’d been, avoiding eye contact as he walked.

I stared straight ahead, and the tears started again. I regret that I didn’t catch the name of the woman sitting next to me, but I am thankful she was there. We talked briefly and I don’t remember exactly what I said, but I tried my best to explain my situation, why I was there, and who that man was that looked at me when he sat down.

I kept my voice low as I answered her questions and listened to her story. A few minutes had passed and I felt bad for cutting her off mid-sentence to tell her that if they walked out, that I would have to go. All I could think about was if my time was running out, and my intuition proved to be right.

Not even a minute later, Josh walked out and turned to go down the stairs in a hurry. I looked at the woman and excused myself, then followed after him. I spoke his name as I reached the top of the stairs.

At first, he held out his hand and said, “I am not doing this now. I am not talking to you. And he continued down the stairs.”

Then I am sure he probably realized that I wouldn’t be so easily deterred… In hindsight I realize his primary objective was to get me away from his wife. Like I’m going to hurt her… Trust & believe that if I carried that much malice in my heart, it would have been done already!

I told him that I was parked right next to him so we might as well go outside, and moved to continue down the stairs. He responded that he was just going to use the restroom and stopped on the landing. I handed him the cards as I passed by.

When I turned to face him from several steps down, and I could see he was visibly upset. He tried to scold me for how selfish it was for me to show up like this on such a difficult day for him and his family.

I told him that wasn’t my intention, and that I didn’t know what else to do. I told him I wasn’t there to fight, I just want answers.

“And you pick TODAY! Without any consideration for our feelings!”

I really resent it when people assume that I haven’t considered their feelings! I have a deep understanding of psychology and social psychology. Plus I am an excellent overthinker and I have had NOTHING BUT TIME to think about everyone’s point of view. Just ONCE IN AWHILE, I would ask them to return the favor. When AM I allowed to express my feelings and it’s NOT a burden to everyone?

Big fat teardrops started falling out of my eyes when I said, “I miss my sons!”

I could hear the irritation in his voice when he asked how I thought it was a good idea… today of all days.

I asked him what other choice did they leave me.

They better not act like I haven’t tried to contact them! I even got a list of every phone number and email address known to be associated with them. And I know my emails were received and read! They opened both of them multiple times.

I shot back by asking if he knew what day it was, for me.

He softened a bit and shook his head slightly… I could see it on his face. He did know.

I said it anyway, “Five years ago today was the hearing to terminate my parental rights.”

He nodded, and I could tell that he was doing his best to keep his composure, but his stress level was palpable in the air. I put my hands in my pockets and felt the recorder I had brought with me.

I forgot to turn it on… Dammit, Ashley!

He said something again about it was a very stressful day for him, that court hearing in particular, and I was making it worse. They had to decide whether or not he would spend 10 years in prison, and how dare I pick today.

Yes, HOW INCONVENIENT for him… Like I don’t know the storm of emotions a person has walking in the door of a courthouse for a pretrial conference?! NOT FOR FELONY CHILD ENDANGERMENT I KNOW THAT!!!!

I was instantly filled with rage and despair, but I held my voice even and took a quick breath before I opened my mouth to speak again…

I reassured him again that I did not want to make things any more stressful, but I didn’t know what else to do. I saw a chance to confront them in a public place where it was “safe,” and I took it.

He couldn’t believe it. His arms fell out, palms up in front of him when he asked me, “So you really drove all the way down here today just for this?”

I knew the question before he finished, it was one I had anticipated, so I didnt hesitate as I squared up to him and looked him straight in the eye. “Yeah, I did…”

“What would you have done? Would you have rather I showed up at your home? Because don’t think I haven’t considered it dozens of times over the years.”

He was quick to say no, that wouldn’t be good.

“What do you expect me to do? I don’t know what’s going on! I just want to know that they are happy and healthy…”

His face was somber and he quietly reassured me, “They are…”

The tears kept coming, but I didn’t bother to wipe them away… “I am not the enemy. I am not against you. I do not want the charges to be true, and I do not want you to go to prison. I do not want my sons to endure any more trauma than they already have! I don’t want that for your family either!

Don’t think I don’t know how you feel right now… I call it living in the Void… When you can’t make plans beyond the next court date. When you have no idea what your life is gonna look like over the next couple years…”

I paused briefly and when he didn’t say anything, I continued, “I haven’t seen my sons in FIVE YEARS! I don’t know if my son even knows who I am… and I know you are terrified about that yourself right now…”

“And I know that you know the long term effects of cutting communication with the birth parents! I know that you do, because I have read the foster parent training!”

I can’t remember his exact wording, something about it being their choice.

I felt a tearing pain searing through my chest. I have no doubt the look on my face was the scary kind of calm that skips the music, but I managed to keep my voice quiet when I heard myself say, “Are you insinuating that my sons don’t want to talk to me?!”

I had wondered that several times before… crying into my pillow or Jim’s shoulder. He would always be quick to reassure me that it wasn’t true. But I wasn’t so sure. And Jim wasn’t there.

Josh started to share with me about his childhood and why they foster, because he grew up “in a not good home.”

I interrupted him to say, “I did too!”

He paused briefly to consider my response, then said something about reading all of the training. I am not sure what exactly he was trying to say, I wasn’t going to hear it.

“I have read the training, too, and the policy and procedures manuals. And I know everything they are doing wrong… better than they do. Do you even know that I used to teach people how to take care of their kids?“

Someone walking down the stairs from court passed us, and we paused to let them through. Then Josh motioned and said we should go outside. I turned and walked quietly down the stairs ahead of him.

I held the door behind me as took a few steps outside. It was a cool, breezy day, especially in the shade of the building. I pulled my coat tighter around me.

A man followed us out. He walked a few steps further out on the cement patio to the left of the door and slowly turned around. His face was softer when we made eye contact again.

The brief interlude gave us both a chance to regain some composure. Tears welled up in my eyes once again when I said,” I just want to tell them I am sorry that I failed them, that I didn’t protect them… I just want to tell them I love them…”

He sighed, “I can’t promise you anything. But I will take your address, and I will ask them if they want to write you, and… maybe send you a school picture.”

He held out the cards and pulled a pen out of his pocket.

I said, “okay” and wrote the address where I have been staying.

I was handing him back the envelope when the woman from upstairs walked out the door. I turned to face her when she said my name. She looked back and forth between Josh and I as she walked over, saying something about her ex not being very happy, some good outcome for her.  She hugged me and said, “I hope you get answers and things work out for you, too!”

“I’m glad things worked out for you! Thank you!”

I could feel Josh quietly watching our exchange. I glanced at him and back to her walking away. I turned and made eye contact again before I continued, “I am not a bad person. I was not a bad mother…”

He reassured me again that they are doing good, they are happy.

“My daughter isn’t speaking to me right now either. I know that I am just a reminder…”

My words trailed off and we just looked at each other for a moment longer. “I miss them so much…”

He let the words sit in the air between us for a couple seconds. “I will ask them to write you…”

He looked at the door, and I could tell he was going to start walking away… “But I got to get back up there.”

I wanted so badly to ask to see them, but the words caught in my chest as tears started falling again.

“Ok. Thank you. Good luck,” is all I could say.

And just like that, he was gone…

I pulled my coat tight around me and took deep breaths as I walked around the corner and down half a block to the truck. I slipped inside and quickly pulled the blanket over my legs.

Jim was walking the dog and Melissa was sitting in the back seat with her headphones on, dozing off.

I leaned forward and rested my face in my hands on my lap and listened to the wind blowing around the truck. I took several deep breaths before the sobs broke through. Our conversation echoed in my mind and I felt a hand patting my back, but I didn’t look up for awhile.

Jim and Luna got back a few minutes later. Jim started the truck and we sat there, quiet. I know they were waiting for me to give them some kind of sign or direction what to do next. A few minutes passed by when an idea struck me. I startled them when I sat up.

More Messages to Deliver

I pulled out my Surface and opened my email. Searching through the sent folder, I scanned the subjects and clicked on a message thread from August 11.

“Dr. Mr. Repp…”

I am incredibly quick and accurate at typing, but it took me a little longer than it should have because I chose my wording carefully. Looking back on the email today, I do see an error and of course I would word some things a little differently in hindsight, but I mean what I said. Both to Josh and to the Washington County Attorney that is prosecuting their case.

This is what I sent him that day.

Nov 22, 2024, 11:36 AM
to countyattorney

Dear Mr. Repp,

I know that you are not asking for my opinion, but I feel compelled to offer it anyway.

From what I understand, my sons Noah and Elijah are happy and healthy in their care. They are doing well in school and they are bonded with the other children in the home. Josh and Ashley Drew are good people. I am grateful that they were able to offer my sons a loving, stable home,and I know that they can provide them with a life that I cannot.

I do not know the specifics about this case, but I am hoping that you might consider speaking with my son Noah before you make a decision that could alter their lives forever. Perhaps the troubled youth that is the center of this situation was not truthful in his or her allegations? My heart breaks for that child as well, because I am sure that they have been through a lot, too.

I have no doubt that you are a wonderful person as well; I have heard from several people that you are a great county attorney. That you care and you’re work means so much more to you than a high conviction rate. I have faith that you would not want to send an innocent man to prison.

Josh and Ashley have opened their home to countless children and have made their lives a better by being part of it. And they could potentially help countless more children, but their family needs Josh to stay the strong, high functioning family unit that they have grown to be!!

I humbly ask that you take a minute to consider what I have written you today. I will be sending you loving energy and praying for divine guidance for you through this case, and all your cases.

Bless you, and thank you for the work that you do! You are appreciated!! ✌️💖

Sincerely yours,

Rev. Ashley Meredith, MSN

I hit send, and then I pulled out the cards that I had brought for Noah and Elijah. They were beautiful cards, carefully chosen specifically for each of them. I did not take pictures, but that’s okay. I had not thought about what I would write ahead of time and my mind was blank.

What could I say that I hadn’t written to them before in letters and cards that I sent? I had no idea where to start and everything I came up with just seemed so… pointless. So I just told them that I am sorry and I miss them and I love them. I signed them and tucked the envelope in, so Josh and Ashley could read what I wrote if they wanted.

If I understood Josh correctly, the boys didn’t want to hear from me anyway… That thought tears me up inside. I know I made mistakes, but I don’t feel like anyone deserves this!

What could I have possibly done? Or what do they think I did that they would be happier without me in their lives at all?

Five years is a long time to rake over every detail in my mind. I don’t do that nearly as often as I used to, but sometimes it consumes me…

That’s all folks…

That is all the information that I have for now… I have no right to know about the health and wellbeing of the children they stole from me. So, I guess I will just… wait.

My inner child is throwing herself on the floor, kicking and screaming, “I DON’T WANNA WAIT ANYMORE!!!”

Meanwhile, you might likely find my adultier present self with a blank stare, looking at the floor or the wall. I might have tested my body’s limits over the past several years, but trauma has f*cked me up more than any substance I ever put in my body…

Except maybe alcohol… that sh*t really f*cked my life up. And I am glad I don’t drink anymore. I feel like there should probably be a decent sized group of people that are also glad I do not drink anymore… I chose to face my demons and deal with them in a healthier way, that didn’t include prison time….

Anyways, enough of that side rant…. Stay tuned! I will let ya know when I know more!

Please pray for my family! And send positive thoughts and loving energy! We need them!

Thank you for your support!

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#childWelfareReform #DREWCREW #ElijahJohn #family #fiction #iowa #IowaDHHS #IowaFamilyRights #JusticeForMe3 #NoahScott #shortStories #shortStory #stopLegalKidnapping #WashingtonCounty #writing

This story offers a valuable lesson about perspective, understanding, and true compassion for anyone that seeks to intervene in the life of another, particularly for those in the child welfare field. #stoplegalkidnapping #childwelfarereform #familypreservation #parentalrights #saveourchildren #iowa #iowadhhs

https://iridescentalchemyst.wordpress.com/2025/02/03/the-monkey-and-the-fish/