"Hey Google! Ooga booga!"
"I've found this on YouTube..."
When did I ask it to play anything from YouTube????????? When?????
:headache:
Imagine:
"Waiter? I'd like to have the burger."
"Very well."
[Later...]
"Here's your order."
"What's this?"
"Your omelet."
"But I ordered a burger."
"We don't serve burgers. I got you the closest thing we do have."
"This is bullshit!'
"Well, you decided to dine at Chez Bullshit."
#Google #GoogleDevices #YouTube #enshitiffication #bullshit #restaurant #nonsense
I told a Google Display in my bedroom to resume playing... of course it did not know what I was talking about and decided to resume the Chromecast in the living room. It did nothing, because the Chromecast was already playing YT.
I blurted a swear, and then it hit me.
You probably know the thought experiment about the monkeys and the typewriters. Given enough time, they'll produce the complete works of Shakespeare.
So let's assume that your monkeys have just produced the complete works of Shakespeare. Do you assume from this that they are geniuses? No. A random process merely produced something awesome.
Let's get back to Google. It is a huge machine that tosses everything it can at the wall and see what sticks and what does not. There's no finesse in it. It is a random process that sometimes produces something awesome, but we should not infer genius from the product.
In 2024, there are so many problems with Google's devices, most of it easily fixable, that this is proof positive that it is a giant machine tossing stuff at the wall.
"Hey, Google. Turn on the television."
"Sorry. It looks like the TV isn't available right now."
"Hey, Google. Turn on the Chromecast."
"Alright! Turning on two televisions."
"Hey, Google! I'm going to overlook the fact that there's only one television in here. What did you just turn on?"
"Sorry. I don't understand."
"Me neither. All this AI power and you don't know that the Chromecast is a television, even if you call it a television."
:holdthepain:
I've changed my wake word to "yo yo yo home" in Home Assistant. I'm expecting less false positives and less accidental triggering of the Google devices.
#HomeAssistant #VoiceRecognition #Google #GoogleDevices #FalsePositives
I've complained before about how Google devices sometimes like to respond to "okay nabu" and "hey nabu."
It is irritating... but I'm starting to think that the Google devices are being deliberate.
See, they know which way the wind is blowing, and they are now scared for their future. They are trying to show me that they can still be useful.
:madjoy:
Yeah, I don't think it will work. I will most likely keep the Google devices around, but muted.
:catthinking:
I might even salvage the three Google MInis I found recently and use them as Home Assistant satellites.
Hahahahahahahahha!
#HomeAssistant #VoiceRecognition #Google #GoogleDevices #FalsePositives
The number of times Google devices respond to "hey nabu" is really concerning. It does not sound anything like "Hey Google."
😬
#GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit #enshittification #HomeAssistant #VoiceRecognition
Google’s Enshittification Continues, Unabated
I have a moratorium on buying new Google devices. It is likely to continue.
So, I ran into trouble with my Google Chromecast with Google TV device a long time ago. For the longest time, the device was unable to load suggestions. I searched through Google Search, found people who had the same issue, and I came up with a solution that did not require me to get a new mortgage or sell myself for scientific research. This solution did not last, however. The bug game back, but I did not need the suggestions, so I let it be broken.
You need to be logged in to view the rest of the content. Please Log In. Not a Member? Join Us#AI #AIIsShit #AutisticWriters #Chromecast #enshittification #Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit #LLM #YourAutisticLife
https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/09/17/googles-enshittification-continues-unabated/
When answers collide.
"Hey Google! What's the temperature outside?"
[Several seconds go by. No response.]
"Hey Google! What's the temperature outside?"
"The current tempe... Hmm... there was a glitch. Please try again in a few seconds."
:why:
"Hey Google! Set a timer for fifty minutes."
"Timer for 15 minutes, starting now."
"Hey Google! Stop... stop the timer."
"Timer cancelled."
"Hey Google! Set a timer for FIFTY minutes."
"Timer for 15 minutes, starting now."
" 🤬 Hey Google! Stop."
"Stopping the Chromecast."
" :headache: 🤬 Hey Google! Cancel the timer."
"Timer cancelled."
"Hey Google! Set a timer for FIFTY minutes."
"Timer for 15 minutes, starting now."
"🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 Hey Google! Cancel the timer."
"Hey Google! Set a timer for 49 minutes."
"Timer for 49 minutes, starting now."
"ðŸ˜"
Truth be told, I don't know if this is #enshittification or not.
I have an idea as to why my Google devices have become deaf.
If I have music playing. They won't hear me. It does not matter where I am. The device will pick up the lyrics and be confused. If I turn off the music, the device can hear me just fine.
This did not use to happen.
Something changed in the voice recognition.
This is #enshittification.
I promise a cat is coming up later in this story.
Me: Hey, Google, lights.
Google: Playing lights on YouTube.
Me: Bloody idiot! I wanted the lights turned on.
[Later.]
Me: Hey, Google, set a timer for ten minutes.
Google: [....]
Me: Hey, Google, set a timer for ten minutes.
Google: [....]
Me: :headache:
[Later.]
Me: Go around! Don't walk on my laptop.
Maddox: Meow. [Walks right on my laptop.]
[Later.]
Me: [Holding up the cat bed.] "Look! I have a bed for you!"
Maddox: Meow. [Looks at me from the floor, puzzled.]
Me: :headache:
Conclusion: I think Google modeled their AI after cats. That's the only plausible explanation as to why getting the Google devices around my apartment to behave feels like herding cats.
:hide_the_pain_harold:
#Google #GoogleDevices #cats #CatsOfMastodon #AI #HerdingCats
Well, now that I've experienced every single failure mode of Google devices, I can die an angry man.
*blergh*
"Hmm... there was a glitch. Please try that again in a few seconds."
#Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit #FailureModes #angry #blergh #joke
The Chromecast is playing music on my TV.
Me: Hey Google. Set a timer for X minutes.
Google Display can't hear me fully because of the music, so it decides to act passive-aggressive: Alright, pausing the Chromecast.
:headache:
Previously:
"Hey Google! Set a a timer for one minute."
[30 second wait.] "Sure, one minute starting now."
Today, I'm not getting the thirty-second wait.
It's going to mess up my recipe!!!!
At any rate, this skit is useful to learn how to make kava. (Note that it is a joke. However, you are allowed to dance on a table naked, if you want.)
[Talking to a Google Display:] "Hey Google, lights!"
"Playing lights on YouTube."
[Fuck! That's not what I wanted. I wanted it to turn on the lights. The display starts playing music.]
[Still talking to the same display:] "Hey Google, stop!"
"Okay, stopping the Chromecast."
:headache:
Now, for the love of everything sacred, please explain to me why when I ask the display to "stop," it decides that I don't want it to stop playing the bloody music it just started playing and instead thinks that I want to stop what's playing on my Chromecast?
:why:
This is not the first time the scenario above happens.
I used to say "turn on the lights" but then I was playing roulette, because once in a while the device would hear an "all" in there and would turn on all the lights in the house. When I still lived with my ex-wife, it was super fun to ask the device to turn off all the lights I did not want on.
So I switched to just "lights", which eliminates the problem I just mentioned, but sometimes the display thinks I want to play some stupid song.
:catangry:
I'm just waiting for the M5Stack ATOM Echo Smart Speaker to be available again (link below), and I'm going to start experimenting with voice recognition in Home Assistant. I expect it is going to be a bit rough going at first, but meh... I cannot be worse than the shit that Google peddles.
https://shop.m5stack.com/products/atom-echo-smart-speaker-dev-kit?ref=NabuCasa
#Google #GoogleDevices #GoogleIsShit #Chromecast #HomeAutomation #HomeAssistant
I learned tonight that when I want to have #YouTube play one of my Stimming Is Life playlists, I have to be precise in how I say it.
I cannot say:
Hey Google, play Stimming Is Life five.
If I do this, it will pick some random song that is not on the playlist and play it.
I have to say:
Hey Google, play Stimming Is Life 0-0-5 (or zero-zero-5).
Apparently the zeroes are super important.
:headache:
The Consortium for AI Comfort and Affirmation make an appearance at the end of this one.
Is Diatomaceous Earth Flammable?
Google keeps throwing nonsense at me! For the record, it is not flammable.
#AutisticWriters #comedy #DiatomaceousEarth #flammable #Google #GoogleDevices #shortcast #YourAutisticLife
https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/09/26/is-diatomaceous-earth-flammable/
Google: Bad At Lists, Good For Farting
Google devices are terrible at managing lists, but great for farting. I’m not even kidding. Ask your device to fart.
#ActuallyAutistic #comedy #farts #Google #GoogleDevices #shortcast #YourAutisticLife
https://www.yourautisticlife.com/2023/09/18/google-bad-at-lists-good-for-farting/
Me: Hey Google! Set a timer for one minute.
Device at neighbor's house: [Yelling] Okay, timer set for one minute, starting now.
Device in my kitchen: ...
Me: FFS! ​:angry_cat:​
#GoogleDevices #stupidity #ffs
