Lmst

I am just dying to mess with the photo of the 'warroom' and put these murderous clowns in the environment more suited to their ineptitude. Background suggestions? I'm thinking...
Texas Oilfield
WWI battlefield
Zoo/Monkey cage
Circus
Hell
Being eaten by sharks
ok I'm liking them hanging out in my aquarium but taking requests?
#us #political #jokes

Maralardo "Warroom" aka Rape and Pillage and more Rape of someone elses resources cuz America Land of the Moron Home of the Grift is how we roll now.

While Titian was mixing rose madder
His model ascended a ladder
Her position to Titian
Suggested coition
So he climbed up the ladder and had her

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

#joke #jokes #humor

There once was a girl named Savanna
whose coochie was big as Montana
she opens her legs
and softly she begs
stick in that massive banana

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

The well known singer of “Summer Holiday” and “living Doll” lives in a converted aircraft storage facility.

Cliff Hangar.

#Jokes #dadjokes

There was a young wife from Vancouver
who had a mouth like a Hoover
her husband, in bed,
was no fun, she said,
he just didn't like that maneuver

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

I asked the passenger next to me if they’d switch seats since I was flying with my family.

They declined. So now I’m sitting with my family.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

There was a lady from Seattle
Who got off blowing off cattle
Until a bull from the south
Shot a load in her mouth
that made both of her ovaries rattle

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

Bob Odenkirk makes a joke about 'Where's Waldo' that I just love (at 5:12):

https://youtube.com/watch?v=F7xTbwl5mRc

#standup #standupComedy #comedy #jokes #humor #bobOdenkirk

How my pal Nikki Glaser's ‘humiliating’ Dave Matthews interaction shaped her 'celebrity policy'

https://fed.brid.gy/r/https://www.upworthy.com/nikki-glaser-dave-matthews-story-ex1

When his daddy told young Willie Plum
How and where new babies come from
Willie sneered, 'For two years,
I've been humpin' Sue Meers,
And she's had no kid papa you dumb

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

A new farmer's helper named Kull
accidently was milking a bull
the farmer said 'Boy, you're dumb
you milked the wrong one!'
said the boy 'But me whole buckets full

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There once lived a man in DC
Who'd been shut off by his wife Hillary
He refused to confess
But the proof's on the dress
So quit lying to us on T.V

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

Why do vampires hate gambling?

They can't handle the stakes.

#funny #jokes #dadjokes

My bank statement's here and I dread
It. I think I will leave it unread.
But on second thoughts, no;
Better peek ... told you so;
I spy huge great big numbers in red

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

there once was a sad man from Leeds
who lay every night alone under the sheets
he spend his sorry life
without the company of a wife
and he had to fullfill his own needs

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

We'll board up the hole on leg day. They never show up for leg day!

#jokes #newyorker

For some reason, I was reminded of this joke tonight.

#jokes #religion #emoPhillips

"The best religious joke of all time" - Emo
Philips

Humor
"Once | saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. | said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." | said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." | said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern
Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too!
Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too!
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said,
"Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said,
"Me, too!"
Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of
1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes RegionCouncil of 1912?"
He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!"
And I pushed him over."
Source:
http://www.theguardian.com/stage/2005/sep/29/comedy.religion

There was a lady in Cincinatti
by the sweet name of Patty
once a man had her
and so roughly did buggar
that she is now plain batty

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

There was a young mister from Blister
Who knocked up his gal as he kissed her.
But he couldn't afford
A new baby on board,
So from then on he just had to fist her

#jokes #limerick #funny #poem #humour #joke

#Jokes

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