Lmst

Poetry, Passion, and Physics https://www.writersdigest.com/poetry-passion-and-physics #WriteBetterPoetry #PassionProjects #PoetryWriting #WritingPoetry #science #poetry

Behind the poem Edge of Madness poems

It was meant to be just one poem

Well it seems like there will be couple more poems under the edge of madness theme. After written the first one I did end up going back to that theme/inspiration. Clearly I’m not done with it since the edge of madness still keeps inspiring me. Even though the major part of the inspiration is coming from more of a darker place. And a darker chapter in my life actually. From many years ago.

The one major part of inspiration behind these poems is relationship I was in when I was in my late teen years and early twenties. That did turn into a emotionally abusive relationship over the years. My now ex actually spend years lock in mental hospital. Actually lock in against their own will. I was with that person through all those years. Supporting and trying to be there anyway I could. From visiting at the hospital and being contact by phone when my ex had access to the phone. Several times my ex did lose the access to the phone. And I had to call the mental hospital behalf of my ex’s parents to ask what was going on this time. Even though I was same age as my ex dealing all of those types of things did always fall on me. Those years were so hard.

Still not sure how I got through it all. Because being the support for anyone in mental hospital takes a huge toll on a person. Same time my ex was in the youth side. One of my friend had a friend in adults side. We visited same time the hospital certain days. So we started to go into café afterwards to sit and talk. It helped so much having someone else to talk about everything related mental hospital. Not only about my ex and friend of my friend but situations of with other patients as well. How we felt about things and situations. There was even couple short lockdowns because of dangerous situations with a patient. Couple times we both were lock inside the hospital in the rooms who we were visiting. Or both or one of us was lock outside and could not visit the hospital. Those situations the one left outside stayed at café waiting. Because it seems like whenever there is sudden lockdown there was patients that started to scream and cause issues for staff to deal. I hated that I had to leave my ex in there. And part that always broke my heart was how used my ex was with the screaming and everything. Also seeing and hearing about a lot of suicide attempts and other things like that. It’s hard to explain people who has no real life experience with mental hospitals what it all really is. Having a friend to talk about everything was big help to both of us. Especially right after visiting. Compared what it felt after visiting without those conversations afterwards. Both of us could breakdown and cry. Especially because we needed to be the strong ones while visiting there.

For me one of the hardest things was to realizing that the person who went in never came out there. It took me few years later in therapy after our relationship ended. To understand that the person I fell in love had been gone many years before I noticed the change fully. Not sure what the reason were. Was it because of the mental illnesses or the treatments and all the those experiences. All of it had shaped my ex becoming someone else entirely. After all we are talking about person in teen years lock in mental hospital. And actually growing up there and in that environment. I do understand how all of that does shape a person. Because those years shaped me as well.

All I know more years went by the more toxic our relationship did become. And my ex become very emotionally abusive. It took me years to escape that relationship. And yes I really mean escape not just end that relationship. I did need to escape from it. I don’t even know how many times I left and went back. Before, it truly was the last time. But when it was the last time I never looked back or went back. No contact is lasting to this day. And I’m never gonna break it.

I have truly being in the edge of madness. It wasn’t mine. But it had become my life for so many years. I was being afraid of constantly falling over that edge. Or that the person I loved would go over that edge and would never come back. That actually did end up happening in the end. Who did came back over the edge looked like person I loved. But inside wasn’t ever again that same person.

Unfortunately my ex happens to be one of those people who didn’t get better at mental hospital. Only end up worse and lost so much of the person that used to be. Sometimes even treatments won’t help or work. Just like with addictions. It doesn’t work for everyone. The sweet and loving person who went in never came out. It seems like that part had been lost or died during those years.

Why I end up writing about it again after so many years? It was my ex’s birthday last week. All those memories did come back into my mind after a long time.

Being reminded of the years I did live edge of madness. Back then I truly did think I was living inside of a never ending nightmare. I could never escape. Especially when everything did get worse and worse as the years went by. It feels good look back knowing all that is behind me forever. It is never gonna come back. And I did survive that toxic emotionally abusive relationship. It did left scars that can’t be seen. But I got out. To anyone going through something similar. Yes there are ways out. It’s really hard and difficult to get type abusive relationships. Nowadays there is a lot of help online and other resources available around the world. Anyone planning to leave please plan it and try get out the safest way possible. If you don’t feel safe enough to research those online resources own devices go local library and use their computers if they have those or online café for the online searches and creating new email that can’t be traced to your own devices. Better be extra safe because leaving an abusive relationship is dangerous.

So the memories of those years did turn into a poem. That has now end up two finished poems and one unfinished. It actually feels good write those poems and getting those feelings out. I don’t know how many poems it will end up become. I will link up here in the end and update this list of the poems under this post. When I do post the poems that are inspired by edge of madness theme and that part of my life.

The first poem was more generally about what inspired me. Because I wasn’t ready to dive deeper into my own past at that moment. And write it from my life. But the next two are me diving deeper into my own past. Into the memories and feelings… Allowing myself to feel it and most importantly see it through eyes of who I am now and not only that young woman who I was back then. Who was so trapped in edge of madness and thought there would never be anything else in life than that edge and never ending nightmare. But there was. And still will be so much more wonderful things to come in the future. I can’t wait to see what wonderful things life will bring to me next.

The list of poems

Done dancing on the edge of madness

Escaped from edge of madness

Looking back

It was never love

Chasing reality where was none

The breaking point

On the edge again

With love C.F. Grönroos

Creator of the Mysteries by Rose

#BehindThePoem #CFGrönroos #MysteriesByRose #Poetry #writing #WritingPoetry

On Writing and Anthologizing Poems https://www.writersdigest.com/on-writing-and-anthologizing-poems #WriteBetterPoetry #PoetryCollections #WritingPoetry #anthologies #Anthology

On Writing and Anthologizing Poems

Award-winning author and bestselling editor of poetry anthologies James Crews discusses his process for writing and anthologizing poems.
The post On Writing and Anthologizing Poems appeared first on Writer's Digest.
https://www.writersdigest.com/on-writing-and-anthologizing-poems

#WriteBetterPoetry #anthologies #Anthology #PoetryCollections #WritingPoetry

Making Creative Writing Accessible for Young Poets: A Conversation With Ivi Hua on Co-Founding the Young Poets Workshops https://www.writersdigest.com/making-creative-writing-accessible-for-young-poets-a-conversation-with-ivi-hua #InterviewsWithPoets #WriteBetterPoetry #writingworkshops #WritingPoetry #BeInspired #Interviews #YoungPoets #workshops

For all those of you out there, that feel overlooked, forgotten and misunderstood. You are not alone!

#poetry #writingpoetry #thoughtsoftheday #thelostsoul #writing #thoughts #innerworld

Anxious Wishes

when worry is
constant companion
and fear follows
close behind
we couch prayers
not to seek
what we want
but to avoid
what we dread
defensive
anxious
small
whispers
in the dark
begging mercy
from angry gods

#WritingCommunity #WritingPoetry
https://ko-fi.com/post/Anxious-Wishes-Q5Q21HNZIN

Lush, beautiful, haunting poem by May Sarton: "Now I Become Myself" https://www.ayearofbeinghere.com/2013/06/may-sarton-now-i-become-myself.html.

Excerpt:

"From wish to action, word to silence,
My work, my love, my time, my face
Gathered into one intense
Gesture of growing like a plant."

#poetry #poem #poems #TodaysPoem #PoemADay #MaySarton #WritingPoetry #aging #writing #plants

4 Storytelling Elements to Use in Your Poetry https://www.writersdigest.com/4-storytelling-elements-to-use-in-your-poetry #WriteBetterPoetry #PoetryWriting #WritingPoetry #storytelling #Poeming #poetry #poems

6 Ways to Write Cozy Poems https://www.writersdigest.com/6-ways-to-write-cozy-poems #WriteBetterPoetry #PoetryWriting #WritingPoetry #CozyWriting #cozypoetry #cozypoems #Poeming #poetry #poems #Cozy

𝑳𝒊𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒂𝒓𝒚 𝑵𝒐𝒎𝒂𝒅𝒔 𝒑𝒐𝒅𝒄𝒂𝒔𝒕: 𝑾𝒓𝒊𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑩𝒂𝒄𝒌: 𝑨𝒏𝒔𝒘𝒆𝒓𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝑴𝒂𝒓𝒗𝒆𝒍𝒍 -

Better even than talking about literature is writing back to it--to build upon it and join the literary cultural current! (It also helps us firm up our thinking.) So let's try it!

I include my efforts, including a different confrontation for Marvell's speaker.

https://waywordsstudio.com/podcasts/waywords_podcast/writing-back-answering-marvell/

#andrewmarvell #tohiscoymistress #responsepoetry #writing #carpediem #writingpoetry

3 Ways to Bring Wonder to Your Poems https://www.writersdigest.com/3-ways-to-bring-wonder-to-your-poems #WriteBetterPoetry #PoetryWriting #WritingPoetry #Poeming #poetry #poems

5 Tips for Writing Nature Poems https://www.writersdigest.com/5-tips-for-writing-nature-poems #WriteBetterPoetry #PoetryWriting #WritingPoetry #naturepoems #Poeming #poetry #poems

Morris and More writing prompt https://wopowrimo.wigglypets.co.uk/?p=1051 #amwriting #writing #writingpoetry #poetry #peotryprompt #poemaday #WritingComunity

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑾𝒂𝒚𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: "𝑵𝒖𝒕𝒔 & 𝑩𝒐𝒍𝒕𝒔 & 𝑭𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒆𝒓𝒕𝒓𝒂𝒑 𝑺𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒂𝒔" --

Part 2 on my new hybrid form of poetry, the "fingertrap" sestina. This one gets technical, moving from 𝘸𝘩𝘺 I created it to 𝘩𝘰𝘸. I review the creation of the rules for the form and the meanings attached to them. Next week's final part will discuss the result of this experiment.

https://buff.ly/42pJIaz

#poetry #hybridpoetry #hybridform #writingpoetry #sestina #poetryrules #formsofpoetry

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑾𝒂𝒚𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 𝑨𝒏 𝐔𝐧𝐰𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝑰𝒏𝒕𝒆𝒓𝒗𝒊𝒆𝒘 𝒘𝒊𝒕𝒉 𝒑𝒐𝒆𝒕 𝑲𝒆𝒍𝒍𝒚 𝑷𝒐𝒓𝒕𝒆𝒓 -

Here is the full interview from the September book launch of 𝘜𝘯𝘸𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘯. We explore how poets think about structure, about variations and manipulating meaning, about the writing process, about private poets in public spaces, and much more!

#unwoven #poetry #interview #writingprocess #writingpoetry #structure #formalverse #ebooks #voicing #WesternCanon

https://buff.ly/3Ea1t3p

𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒎 𝑾𝒂𝒚𝒘𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: "𝑪𝒐𝒎𝒑𝒐𝒔𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒂 𝑵𝒆𝒘 𝑷𝒐𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄 𝑭𝒐𝒓𝒎" --

Tensions, resistance, doubling-down, or just an itch to try and invent something? Either way, hybrid poetic forms are the real tradition of writing verse.

https://buff.ly/3PD0HhO

#poetry #writingpoetry #sestina #hybridpoetry #hybridpoem