I CHOSE ME
Daily writing prompt Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow. View all responsesPersonally, I have felt like going crazy sometimes. Being a graduate with
big dreams but having nothing at age 30 does not feel like an achievement.
Worst, is still having to go back home to my parents because I lost
everything. In Nairobi this is failure. Having parents who blow hot and cold
in regards to circumstances does not help. When there is no money, of
course, you become a burden. What’s worse is having people around you
who believe that you enjoy staying in your parents’ home for the ‘free’ food
and accommodation. Free in quotes because, trust me it is not. The mental
drainage you get from constantly being put down by people who feel that
you lack ambition takes a tall. If you don’t take care of yourself, you’ll end
up mad.
Trust me, I have been there. It has taken me long to realize that in every
situation you can still hold on. Don’t let people tell you who you are. You
know yourself, just take in the negativity with a smile and make sure you
do not build it up in your system. Take a walk, cycle, dance, socialize and
shun away in more negativity, especially that which comes from people who claim to be your friends. Friends should offer support and solutions, not put
you down and create more problems. Don’t choose alcohol or any sort of
gratification to solve your problems. I’m not saying you stop drinking, just
make sure you do not relate your problems to any sort of instant gratification
because before you know it, you will have destroyed your closest ally, YOU!
Personally, it’s been hard for me when you put in factors like childhood
trauma and the lack of present success. It’s weird that people will only look
about issues using their own lenses. They really don’t care about you, but
how you being there affects their life. It’s taken me a while to know that
I’m my best chance of winning, so I have to take care of myself. Weirdly,
it’s that even though sometimes I have had the idea of what I needed to
do to succeed, I was always lagging. I always blamed what happened in my
childhood as well as other people. I’m alive now and the present moment
is that which matters. Even though I always come in my way and was the
biggest stumbling block, now I know better. As Kendrick Lamar says, “I choose
me, I’m sorry.”
Before having any friend, you
have to be your best friend,
before loving anyone, you have
to love yourself first. There is no
short cut to this. It always starts
with you and then spreads from
there.



