So nonfiction and I are my close friends. But lately, Iโve found some books that have caught my eye. Parenting is hard enough โฆ. But maybe I can find a couple of tips to make life easier?๏ฟผ๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ๐คท๐ฝโโ๏ธ
#latediagnosis #autisticmom #autismawareness
#parenting #itsallhard #parentingwhenyoureautistic
Last call to sign up for my autistic burnout recovery course. We start tomorrow.
http://www.autismchrysalis.com/burnout
Learn skills to get out of burnout and stay out. To create burnout-free life.
#AutisticBurnout #BurnoutRecovery #Burnout #ActuallyAutistic #AuDHD #EnergyManagement #AutisticBurnout #AutisticParent #AutisticProfessional #AutisticAdvocate #AutisticAdult #AutisticParent #AutisticMom #AutisticDad #AutisticAwareness #AutisticAcceptance #Autism #ADHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAlly #AutisticElder
"Calm down."
๐งต
G-d, I hate those words. Always have.
#AutisticParent #AutisticMom #AutisticDad
#AutisticAwareness #AutisticAcceptance
#Autism #ADHD #AuDHD #AutisticAdults #AutisticAlly
#AutisticElder #ActuallyAutistic @actuallyautistic
@actuallyadhd
I've heard them pretty much every day of my long life.
Delivered in soothing tones...
Helpful tones...
Authoritative...
Anxious...
Angry...
Sometimes accompanied by a slap.
From Parents. Teachers. Priests. Playmates. Lovers. Doctors. Therapists... Each one demanding one thing of me.
๐Control over THEIR own feelings.
By demanding... control of mine.
WHO needs control when I'm sad?
Angry?
Intense?
Passionate?
Proud?
Informative...
Joyful...
or...
Suicidal?
You folks do.
I'm feeling what I'm feeling. And expressing it in ways that are not only the most natural to me... but also the most appropriate...
To the neurology I was born with.
You may not like it.
In the park.
In the grocery store.
In front of strangers.
In front of Aunt Mary.
In 2nd grade.
๐๐๐
With my office door open.
In your waiting room.
On our 3rd date.
In your house...
In *your* life.
There's a whole wing of autism deniers masquerading as scholars who say we autistics lack a "theory of mind."
Like adult autistics don't deal with typical human minds
๐ 24 / 7 / 365.25 ... ๐
YOUR problem with MY behavior is easier to understand than your whole "theory of mind," "behavioral analysis" crap.
I don't get how YOU think or feel.
You don't get how * I * think or feel...
And we rub each other the wrong way. Just like cats and dogs.
๐THIS cat has a theory of *your* mind. It's simple.
You don't acknowledge what you think or feel.
Not in public.
Lots of times not even to yourself.
S'why y'all drive me crazy.
Why did parents, teachers, "helping" pros, "friends" tell me to calm down?
Not to soothe *my* distress. To soothe THEIR distress.
๐ Shame?
Not fun to feel ashamed... of your child.
๐ Fear?
Scary when everybody's looking at you.
And you think it's not even your fault.
๐ Anger?
It's frustrating... when you have no control.
Like... when I don't do what you want me to. Fast enuff.
๐ Soothing?
Of course, YOU need soothing...
Every time someone else's pain...
Or bad luck...
Or death...
Reminds you of YOUR danger.
๐จ "Calm down." ๐จ
There is never a time that a command...
implying that an autistic person in distress is doing "something wrong"...
helps.
Doesn't matter our age... education... profession... wealth.
And since your "helpful advice" almost certainly inflames their pain... literally adding fuel to the fire in our hearts, minds, and bodies...
You'll NEVER get the outcome you demand... soothing.
You'll just add one more brick to the prison wall of our trauma.
By Thursday I have no spoons left and I am struggling with masking and mood. My wife tries to let me get sleep through the week so I can do my job. However I used to use my weekends as recovery time and I would rest and nap. As a parent I canโt do that and I take over a lot of the parenting duties when home. How do I manage my autistic burnout, sensory overload and exhaustion without leaving my wife to do all of the baby duties? #actuallyautistic #autism #autisticmom
Like I need another social media platform to consume my time! But here I am. #Communications #EdTech #AutisticMom #CPMom #PRProfessional #MentalHealth #StudentMentalHealthWeek #LifeAtChegg
I quit tweeting a while ago but I only just migrated to Mastodon.
Iโm an #AutisticMom with #ADHD and #CPTSD with #Autistic kids who also have #ADHD.
Weโre big on #Art and #Creativity and we do not have quiet hands.
