Lmst

🤔 Ah yes, because what we really need is another "step by step" guide to tell us how clueless we are about our own #CI/CD pipelines. 🚀 Who knew #observability could be so riveting when you slap #OpenTelemetry on it and drown in GitHub Actions' logs? 📜 Surely, all it takes is a nine-minute read to turn into a tracing wizard, right? 😂
https://signoz.io/blog/cicd-observability-with-opentelemetry/ #GitHubActions #DevHumor #HackerNews #ngated

GitHub's Billionth Repo Is Literally 'Shit', And It's Perfect

#GitHub #OpenSource #Developer #CodingHumor #Tech #ShitRepo #SoftwareDevelopment #Programming #TechNews #DevHumor

https://winbuzzer.com/2025/06/12/githubs-billionth-repo-is-literally-shit-and-its-perfect-xcxwbn/

🎂 PHP turns 30.
Still powers the web. Still mocked. Still running.
It’s like that old dev who doesn’t talk much… but saves prod every Friday.
#PHP30 #SergiuDinIT #DevHumor

🎉 Breaking: Zig devs decide to reinvent the wheel because why not? 🚀 Instead of the tried-and-tested #LLVM, let's use our own x86 backend, just for giggles! Oh, and Windows? Nah, not today, Satan. 🤡
https://ziglang.org/devlog/2025/#2025-06-08 #ZigLang #Reinvention #x86Backend #DevHumor #HackerNews #HackerNews #ngated

My brain’s algo for learning? Starts at O(n^2), looping through every detail like a nested for-loop nightmare. But once it clicks, I’m coding in O(1)instant, like a perfectly hashed lookup!
#programming #devhumor

Just to be on record:
I honestly didn’t expect that even non-YAML code (👀 @nuke build – yeah, I’m talking to you...) would require just as many fucking never-ending commits.
Azure DevOps has proven me wrong. (lol)

The real pain point?
No local test run
No Run pipeline locally
Zero feedback until you PR, merge, and let it rip on main

So yeah, we’re basically testing on the main branch. In production. In 2025.
For everything else, there’s: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Also, I firmly believe that not only Carthage must be destroyed, but also:

- CI/CD with no local feedback loop
- “Works on my machine” excuses
_ YAML files that silently break on pasted tabs
- And every doc that starts with “just”

And yes — I really thought nuke build would make things better...
But after 24 hours of commits, checks, and trial-and-error, I’ve been proven otherwise (and I really wanted to make it work and local debugging is awesome — but it’s useless when the docs are a soggy mess and don’t reflect reality.)

#DevOps #AzureDevOps #YAML #NukeBuild #CI #CICD #MainBranchDrivenDevelopment
#WorksOnMyMachine #AgileStruggles #ModernDev #CarthagoDelendaEst #DevHumor
#BuildFail #DebuggingHell #LocalIsNotProd #SoftwareEngineering #DotNet #DevLife

🛠️ Wow, a zero-config tool! Just what every dev wanted: another way to procrastinate by watching their code do a TikTok dance. 🎉 Because staring at colorful squiggles obviously makes you a genius overnight. 🙄
https://staying.fun/en #zeroConfigTool #procrastination #devHumor #codeDancing #colorfulSquiggles #HackerNews #ngated

Been thinking about how outdated comments in code don’t help, they just add entropy.

They can make it harder to tell if a human wrote it… or a thousand monkeys with typewriters.

Comment just enough to prove you wrote it.

#programming #CodeQuality #devhumor

Ah, the noble quest to master Git! 🙄 Behold, a listicle that assumes developers have the attention span of a goldfish 🐠, detailing commands that even a brain-dead potato could memorize. Marvel as it regurgitates the same commands every coder already knows, pretending it’s solving world hunger. 🍽️
https://jsdev.space/15-git-commands/ #GitMastery #GoldfishAttention #DevHumor #CodingStruggles #ListicleFails #HackerNews #ngated

No Hugs and Kisses, Only Bugs and Fixes.
Who needs romance when you’ve got merge conflicts?
Dev life mood: 🔗 https://techgeeksapparel.com/no-hugs-and-kisses-only-bugs-and-fixes/
#BugLife #CodeBeforeLove #DevHumor

I've written code you people wouldn't believe. Seen Docker containers on fire off the dev-branch of a repository. Watched the k8s pods glitter near the load-balancer gateway. All that code will be lost in time, like commits on dead branches. Time to git reset --hard HEAD.

#bladerunner #devhumor #adhdbraingoesbrr

No Comment. Literally.
Clean code? Nah. Just mysterious.
Say less, debug more: 🔗 https://techgeeksapparel.com/no-comment-code-t-shirt/
#CodeMystery #SilentSyntax #DevHumor

Dear Gradle, Why So Stubborn?
Do I do something wrong?

Watching juniors try to set up a project and being greeted by cryptic stack traces like it's some kind of initiation ritual.

`Unsupported class file major version 61`
`invalid CEN header zip64 no access package`, ...

Java can compile code for older versions just fine.
It's literally designed for that.
Oh why, must Gradle behave like a bitter librarian who refuses to hand over a book unless I whisper the exact Dewey Decimal Code?
Every other Language will laugh again at java, seeing this.

💡 Why is Gradle bound to a java version? And if Gradle knows it needs Java 11… why doesn't it just do this for me?
Like using `/usr/libexec/java_home -v 11` in background?

🤖 Is there a clean way to force Gradle into submission without adding another tool like SDKMAN or jabba or YunaBraska/gradle-java-fix or whatever the trendy painkiller of the week is?

#Java #Gradle #BuildTools #DevHumor #DeveloperProblems #JDK #ProgrammingPain #CleanCode #SoftwareEngineering #OpenJDK #CodeNewbie #BackendDev #BuildFails

Your Maven build never sounded this good! 🎶🤠 This April Fools' Day, sneak our Music Maven Plugin into your repo and watch your teammates spiral into a country-fueled debugging session. 😏 https://xdev.software/music-maven-plugin

#xdevsoftware #aprilfools #devhumor #prank