Lmst

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Stress between Cafcass interviews

I’m writing this in a moment between Cafcass meetings. I spoke with the case officer on Monday, and your mum will speak to her next week.

I’ve struggled to keep a record here for you as so many moments are sad and hopeless. I have lots of notes in drafts, waiting to be revised before I save, but the pain of recalling those moments has been too difficult and I avoid going back to them to avoid provoking more sadness. Ultimately, I want to keep a record for you, so I’ll work it out.

This relentless situation means I’ve got to make the most of what we have.

Your mom continues to fight against me, against us being a family where I have equal responsibility, time and care for you. She doesn’t want me involved and I’ve been fighting just to be able to see you more than once a week. It hurts me so much that we barely have 5 hours together on a Sunday and many of those are cancelled anyway.

Staying in your memories

I’m terrified you don’t know who I am right now. What if you don’t see that I’m your loving dad who will always love and care for you.

I got a bit of hope because you can understand and remember little things. Like on the weekend, when you knew where to get your plates and bib for lunch. It was a lovely surprise to get your help but most importantly for you to have remembered something about our time together.

Missing so much

Even with some positive signs, I live devastated that I can’t give you a bath at night or kiss in the morning.

More hostilities to come

Next week your mum will spew more hateful deceitful lies with the only one aim, to keep us apart.

I think about you every moment, even though it hurts.

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#Cafcass #courtCase #dad #dadLife #dadTime #daddyDaughter #family #familyCourt #fatherTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #heartbreak #makingMemories #parentalAlienation #parenting #preparingForCourt #timeTogether

Man looking concerned while on the phone in a modern living room

Guarda il testo della canzone “Father Time” di Kendrick Lamar
#KendrickLamar #FatherTime
https://daletra.online/kendrick-lamar/testi/father-time.html

Découvrez les paroles de la chanson “Father Time” de Kendrick Lamar
#KendrickLamar #FatherTime
https://daletra.art/kendrick-lamar/paroles/father-time.html

Paroles de la chanson “Father Time” de Kendrick Lamar
#KendrickLamar #FatherTime
https://daletra.art/kendrick-lamar/paroles/father-time.html

Check out the lyrics for the song “Father Time” by Kendrick Lamar
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01/01/2025
Happy New Year
https://thedevilspanties.com/archives/16472
#2025,#FatherTime,#NewYear,#NewYear

Confira a letra da música “Father Time” de Kendrick Lamar
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Sehen Sie den Text des Liedes “Father Time” von Kendrick Lamar
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Check out the lyrics for the song “Father Time” by Kendrick Lamar
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Entdecken Sie den Text des Liedes “Father Time” von Kendrick Lamar
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Letra da música “Father Time” de Kendrick Lamar
#KendrickLamar #FatherTime
https://daletra.com.br/kendrick-lamar/letra/father-time.html

Rail replacement for our winter day

I’m on my way back from a day with your adorable little face.

The plans to visit grandma and other friends in the Big City were cancelled because the direct trains aren’t running. Your mum refused to drive so I went to River Town instead.

Tickets to see you

Your mum messaged me at 8:30am to confirm the day was going ahead, as I asked her to, because I needed a bit of time to prep your lunch. Over the last few days, you’ve been unwell with a cough and rash. Both are still present, however now they are mild.

I really hope you get past these constant sicknesses, it’s starting to worry me a bit. As long as your mum takes you to the GP, all I can do is trust you’re being looked after suitably. If I dare to ask, your mum shuts me down with threats of accusing me of harassing her. I’m in a horrible position.

I now have access to your GP records but that won’t cover every time you’re sick so I can’t know if your mum is just making excuses. I’m kept in the dark and we’re kept separated.

Our day together

I had originally planned to visit grandma and have lunch with her before visiting Market Street. As the plans changed, in the morning I got ready and cooked you a prawn, cream, spinach and mashed potatoes meal.

I anticipated Wagamama would have highchairs and like other chain restaurants, would be family-friendly. Yo Sushi last week they were great.

You were a little unsettled and didn’t eat much so I had to use the various backups which were successful. You were very keen on cheese today and kept asking for more until you finished everything I had! ‘Moor’, ‘moor’. It’s adorable hearing you speak, I’ll try and get a video of you saying ‘more’ soon.

I tried to go for a walk along the canal but it started raining so I thought you would be better off at the library. It was busy with various families and a little reading session was on, I tried to have us join, but I think you wanted to monkey around and release some energy.

Less reading more throwingI can understand why dads grow their beards now!

I used an opportunity to video call grandma and then there was little time for anything else as it was getting dark and generally a miserable day. The greatest brightness was absolutely your lovely expressions and sweetest way of playing with other kids.

It breaks my heart that you fall asleep and I disappear for a week or longer at a time

I miss you already so much sweetheart.

Listen through the podcast

https://open.spotify.com/episode/55R3GStllcw9x6sAxZ224K?si=cTlelgtDQAO3X7_P8UR3hg

#blogging #dadLife #dadTime #Diary #emotions #familyTime #fatherTime #fatherSRights #fatherhood #journal #kids #life #littleGirl #memories #missingYou #myGirl #parentalAlienation #relationships #timeWithDaddy #visitingYou #winter #writing