Lmst

Video of 75 yo woman arrested by #ICE while peacefully protesting in #Oregon by walking back and forth at steps leading to a federal building. #Borowitz requested that this be boosted. This is a very small woman that anyone could maneuver around, and she was all alone.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/the-hero-we-need-now

How a tiny 75-year-old woman stood up to Kristi Noem’s goons. #Borowitz #TBR #ICE
Get her story out - please share

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/the-hero-we-need-now?utm_campaign=post&utm_medium=email

18 minutes of wit & wisdom,
Long form Andy Borowitz - With Robert Reich

> We Could All Use Some Robert Reich Right Now

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/we-could-all-use-some-robert-reich

> "After this shitshow of a week, it’s time for something uplifting: a conversation with the legendary Robert Reich....

My podcast is usually for paid subscribers only, but I’m making this episode free for all. This week showed just how far the fascist Trump regime will go to silence critics."

Love,
Andy

#Borowitz #RobertReich #TrumpVirus #Truth

#USA #Robert Reich #Borowitz „We all could use some Robert Reich right now!“ www.borowitzreport.com/p/we-could-a...

We Could All Use Some Robert R...

In addition to great political satire, Andy Borowitz sometimes posts actionable content, like this writeup of DON'Ts and DOs.

How NOT to Stop Trump
(WARNING: This post contains useful information.)

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/how-not-to-help-democrats-win

#BorowitzReport #Borowitz #uspol #VoteBlue #democrats

#Borowitz #Trump #Ghislaine #TrumpAngel #TrumpIsANationalDisgrace #USA #GOP #Republicans #UnitedStates

A short-funny-interesting summer/rainy-day treat, a freebie vid (usually premium) from Satirist Andy #Borowitz

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/free-gift-from-me?publication_id=2337656&post_id=169767747&r=3jum0y&triedRedirect=true

> Andy chats with comedian W. Kamau Bel- beginning with the frontal assault on humor/truth & Colbert by CBS/Paramount - and the general direction and inevitable demise of the entirety of late-night TV.

Plus some thoughts on #cult belief & #Cosby too.

#LateNite #Comedy #Satire #humor #CBS #Epstein #Paramount #truth #KamauBell #Colbert #media #FCC #TrumpVirus

Meanwhile, the predictable #TrumpVirus response, affirmed by the #GQP cult of crime & corruption
(Maybe pediophilia too?)

>Trump Signs Executive Order Banning Word Epstein

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-signs-executive-order-banning

Satire - today, at least. Tomorrow?

#Borowitz #Epstein #SirStableGenius #pedophiles #GQP #repression #censorship #fascism #crime #TeflonDon

Seems just about right!

> God Formally Notifies Mike Johnson That he is Going to Hell

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/god-formally-notifies-mike-johnson

#satire (?) #Borowitz #MAGAMike #TrumpVirus #cult #evil #DevilWorship #FalseGod #GQP #Truth #Karma #sin

#Trump #Musk #Borowitz #USA #Zielinski #Ukraine 🤣

#Trump #USA#Mexico renames #LibertyBell #TacoBell #GOP #Republicans #Democrats #UnitedStates #Borowitz too bad it isn't true just like #GulfOfMexico
❤️❤️😂😂🤣🤣

Heh... [gseth]

https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/new-air-force-one-from-qatar-totaled

#TrumpVIrus #Hegseth #Incompetency #psychopathology #humor #Borowitz

#satire #politics #borowitz #JFK #stocks #crash
JFK Says Stock Market Crash Could Be Reversed if Investors Drank Cod Liver Oil.
Borowitz

JFK Says Stock Market Crash Could Be Reversed if Investors Drank Cod Liver Oil.
Borowitz
NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report)—Offering a remedy to last week’s devastating crash on global stock markets, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. said on Monday that the plummeting trend could be reversed if investors would drink high doses of cod liver oil.

“Stocks are crashing because investors are in a bad mood, and the reason they are in a bad mood is because they are not getting enough Omega-3 fatty acids,” he said. “This is what caused the Great Depression.” Bolstering the credibility of his suggestion, he added, “Dr. Oz is with me on this.”

Kennedy’s prescription, however, was met with skepticism from financial experts, who noted that tariffs on cod liver oil had made the liquid virtually unaffordable.

#satire #humor #politics #alt #borowitz #greenland #trump #jdvance
Borowitz Report
Greenland Refuses to Trade JD Vance for Rare Earth Minerals

Borowitz Report
Greenland Refuses to Trade JD Vance for Rare Earth Minerals

GREENLAND (The Borowitz Report)—On Thursday the government of Greenland flatly rejected Donald J. Trump’s offer to trade Vice President JD Vance for a stake in the island’s rare earth minerals.

In a strongly worded rebuke, government spokesman Hartvig Dorkelson declared, “Greenland will consider any attempt to transfer ownership of JD Vance to this island to be an act of war.”

Greenland’s statement drew an impassioned response from the VP’s wife, Usha Vance, who urged the island’s government to reconsider Trump’s offer.

“I strongly recommend that you agree to this deal,” she said. “We’re not even insisting on the minerals part.”

#quisling4 #borowitz #traitor #politics #lindseygraham
Quisling of the Week #4
“A true quisling collaborates with the enemy despite knowing better. For that reason, someone like Sen. Tommy Tuberville could never be considered a quisling, because he knows nothing.
And then there’s Lindsey Graham….”
https://open.substack.com/pub/borowitzreport/p/traitor-of-the-week-quisling-no-4?r=ymxmu&utm_medium=ios

#tariffs #satire #borowitz #hegseth #alt #ALT4you #ALT4me

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump’s threatened 200 percent tariff on alcohol from the European Union has caused Secretary of Defense Pete Hegseth to angrily resign, the Pentagon confirmed on Friday.

Speaking to reporters, Hegseth said that he considered the tariffs on “Irish whiskey, French Sancerre, and the exquisite sherry of Portugal” to be “an act of war.”

In an eleventh-hour bid to keep Hegseth on board, Eric Trump, the president of Trump Winery, offered Hegseth a free lifetime supply of the company’s products, but was immediately rebuffed.

“I’ve had those Trump wines and they taste like ass,” Hegseth said. “Jesus, I’d rather be sober.”

#Politics #satire #borowitz #alt #ALT4you
Borowitz Report
Trump Warns of Increase in Transgender Mice Since Haitians Ate All The Cats

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—In one of the more ominous moments from his speech to Congress on Tuesday night, Donald J. Trump blamed a surge in transgender mice on “Haitians eating all the cats.” “For four years, mice swarmed over the border, looking for sex-change operations that Sleepy Joe Biden would pay for,” he alleged. “These mice had nothing to fear because they knew that all the cats had been eaten.” Vowing to usher in what he called a “golden age for cats,” he vowed to use billions in tariff revenue to establish a Strategic Cat Reserve.

Trump spent the rest of his speech listing his second-term accomplishments, boasting, “I have already caused more damage than all other presidents put together.”

#satire #borowitz #trump #kingcharles #princeandrew #epstein #alt #ALT4you
The Borowitz Report
King Charles Downgrades Trump’s State Visit to Lunch with Prince Andrew
Satire

LONDON (The Borowitz Report)—In an abrupt about-face, King Charles III of the United Kingdom announced on Monday that he was downgrading Donald J. Trump’s upcoming state visit to lunch with Prince Andrew.

Instead of Windsor Castle, where the state visit was to be held, the lunch between Andrew and Trump will now occur at a Pizza Express restaurant in Woking.

According to royal sources, Andrew was “incandescent with rage” when his older brother informed him of the engagement, but the King told him, “Sorry, chap, you've got to take one for the team.”

After Andrew asked what he and Trump could possibly talk about over their pizza, Charles suggested, “Maybe you two can reminisce about your good times with Jeffrey Epstein.”

DOGE Staffer Attempting to Fire Park Ranger is Mauled by Angry Bear

YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK (The #Borowitz Report)—A staffer from Elon Musk’s Department of Government Efficiency (DOGE) was unable to fire a park ranger on Thursday after being attacked by an angry bear.

The ranger’s failure to respond to #Musk’s email demanding a summary of his previous week’s achievements prompted the #DOGE member’s in-person visit to Yellowstone, which resulted in his mauling by the 600-pound grizzly.

According to witnesses, the bear was last seen heading for a nearby #Republicans town hall.

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/doge-staffer-attempting-to-fire-park

#Borowitz

Client Info