#mullet kid! I had that on my card! #LateLateToyShow

Business up front- party in the back
#photography #nature #mullet

Gut-Buster’s Gator-Grin Gauntlet: Atlanta’s Glory Hole Gumbo of Scales, Slime, and Southern Sizzle

Gather ’round, you slack-jawed shit-stirrers—it’s Gut-Buster Gallagher, overlord of the asphalt apocalypse, unloadin’ the most cock-eyed, cum-drenched clusterfuck of a tale from my grease-stained gospel. Last month at the Atlanta Thunder Run, I’m knee-deep in a keg of peach-flavored hooch that burns goin’ down like a jalapeño enema.

My ’72 Shovelhead’s throbbin’ like a blue-balled bull when this mullet-sportin’ dipshit in acid-wash jeans—goes by “Hipster Hog”—swaggers up, grinnin’ like he just patented the mullet mullet. “Geezer,” he drawls with a fake Southern twang, “wager your wheezy wreck couldn’t out-bang my solar-powered Schwinn in a glory hole gauntlet.”Glory hole gauntlet?

Motherfucker, it’s this moron’s rally ritual: hoodwinked hellraisers humpin’ through glory-glorified glory holes at a lineup of “lottery licks.” Loser inks the winner’s wang on their ass cheek with a tat gun tuned to “torture.” I’m ponderin’, fuck it—my road-weary rod’s plowed more furrows than a John Deere on steroids.

We don the hoods, mob’s bayin’ like coonhounds on crank. First portal: plush as a politician’s promise, slurpin’ like a Hoover on happy pills. Gurgles and gasps—bagin’ a belly dancer, no sweat. Gut one, tally ho.

Second slot: snugger than a gator’s grin, clampin’ like a bear trap with benefits. I’m piston’ like a porn piston, balls slappin’ wetter than a frog in a blender, when it starts buzzin’—vibin’ fiercer than my bike on a busted magneto. “Goddamn glory!” I roar, but the horde’s howlin’, “Gut-Buster! Gut-Buster!” Third orifice? A oozin’ orgy of ooze—slick, squirmy, and… scaled? Somethin’s coilin’ ’round my crank like a lasso from Lucifer’s lapdog. I rip off the rag mid-plunge: Hipster Hog’s on the flip side, trousers tangled, with a live alligator from the swamp tour exhibit! Jaws chompin’ air, tail thrashin’ like it’s auditionin’ for Swamp Thing 2, and the beastie’s got my meat in a Mississippi death roll.

Hog’s cacklin’ till ol’ Snappy latches onto his love handles, turnin’ his hipster hide into gator chowder. We both bail, slathered in scales and scaly shame, spectators squirtin’ tears like faulty carburetors. Word is, the “jackpot jolts” were rally rejects: a Fleshlight factory reject, a feral ferret from the petting zoo, and a pissed-off prehistoric from the Georgia Aquarium’s reject bin. I claim victory by veto—Hog’s too tied up gettin’ his giblets unglomped at the ER, where docs stitch him up while snickerin’ about “Southern hospitality bites back.”But wait, it gets weirder.

Post-pummel, we limp to the afterparty in a gutted-out Waffle House turned whorehouse—neon sign buzzin’ “Batter Up, Bitches.” I’m nursin’ a black eye and a bruised banana when this tattooed temptress in a Daisy Duke do-rag slides up, reekin’ of bacon grease and bad choices. “Heard you wrestled a gator with your goodies, sugar,” she coos, her hand divin’ south like a gopher on gravy. Before I can belch a “yes ma’am,” we’re back-alley bangin’ against a dumpster that smells like yesterday’s grits and glory. She’s a tornado in thigh-highs—twistin’, grindin’, yowlin’ “Deeper, you scaly stud!” till the trash cans tango and a raccoon joins the chorus, rootin’ through our discarded drawers like it’s Mardi Gras.Climax hits like a Confederate cannon—fireworks in my fireworks factory—and we collapse in a puddle of peach hooch and passion sweat.

She winks, wipin’ her lips: “Next time, bring the gator. I like ’em snappy.” Stagger back to my Shovel, hog-tied but triumphant, revvin’ into the Georgia night with scales still shakin’ loose from my chaps.Lesson learned? In the South, bets bite back harder than bad BBQ, and glory holes hide horrors that’ll haunt your wet dreams. Atlanta? One helluva humpin’ ground. Who’s next for the gauntlet, ya yellow-bellied yahoos? Gut-Buster’s locked, loaded, and laughin’ all the way to the hoosegow.

• Gut-Buster’s Gator-Grin Gauntlet: Atlanta’s Glory Hole Gumbo of Scales, Slime, and Southern Sizzle
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• Harley-Davidson to shut down more than 600 dealerships for 24 hours

#adultJokes #adultStories #Atlanta #biker #BikerNews #bikerNews1_ #Fleshlight #gator #gauntlet #gloryHole #insaneThrottle #jokes #motorcycleMagazine #mullet #outlawBikerNews1_ #rally #tattoo #WaffleHouse

Found @jasonrlicht@twitter.com’s next offensive lineman in the draft.

#Bucs #mullet 🏴‍☠️ https://x.com/brandonthornnf…

#cat #mullet #humor

present chuck!

#art #sketch #dailydoodle #ChaotiCreations #day296 #doodle #chuck #meme #mullet #80s

I got a haircut and a new shirt today.

#fade #mullet #haircut #sakamotodays

MUCH less smoke over Montana is leading to a Feline Friday cat mullet: sunbathing business in the front, shady party in the back.

#cat #cats #FelineFriday #feline #Friday #sun #sunbathing #shade #mullet #catsofmastodon #mastodoncats

Now watching #SouthAfrica vs #Brazil, and AAARRRRGGGGHHHH!!!!!!!! They've got a #JanseVanRensburg! I'm so confused! This one doesn't have an abomination of a #mullet.

#RSAvsBRA #RWC2025 #Rugby

@lazermullet@pixelfed.social 🔗 https://pixelfed.social/p/lazermullet/864285601012196092
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Check out my latest photos!
#PhotoShoot
#Sexy
#Mullet
#Himbo
#LazerMullet
#Neon
#Retro
#80s

Die Tage hat unsere #Teenie uns gestanden, dass sie voll auf #Mullet und Oberlippenbart steht.

Ich weiß jetzt auch nicht mehr...

#FediEltern

I have reached peak Berlin leftist queer non-binary haircut
#haircut #mullet #nonbinary #genderqueer #Berlin

A la Carola Tohá, a Gonzalo Winter, a Jaime Mullet, chiquillos llego la hora.....

#Primarias2025
#PrimariasPresidenciales
#Jara
#TohaPresidenta
#winter
#mullet

So you won the lotto! Time to #trashtheneighborhood #upperclassbogan #maincharacterenergy #maincharacter #bogan #mullet #weekend #friday #lifestyle

Que la gente vote lo que se le cante, todo bien y luego cuando sepamos quien gana la primaria nos transformamos en los jefes del comando de Lula contra Bolsonaro

#primarias2025Chile
#Jara
#toha
#winter
#mullet