EDITOR’S NOTE: YOU’RE ALLOWED TO CRY ABOUT IT, AS LONG AS YOU KEEP GOING
As 2025 draws to a close and 2026 approaches, we are also entering a period of reflection brought on by endings and new beginnings, punctuated with the formation of goals and resolutions.
There is a temptation to think that in the new year, you will change EVERYTHING and be BETTER.
However, reflection is a process that must be approached with honesty, without judgment. We must consider what we are, separate from what we wish to have been. That will come later.
Honestly consider what parts of your life are unsatisfactory. List as many as you want, but prioritize only one. If you are a more motivated person than I am, choose your top two or three, but not more. Too many areas of focus can become overwhelming.
During this process, it might be tempting to give up—thinking only about what is bad can make your whole life feel worse than it is.
Accept the dark thoughts and move on—they are useful only for understanding how you feel, not for getting you out of that feeling. If you’re sad, just cry about it.
The focus for the moment is making that list.
Now, go through your areas of focus and go into more detail about specific behaviours or facts of your situation that are bothering you the most.
For example, at the beginning of this year, I looked into my finances and did not like what I saw. I broke it down into different categories, including debt repayment, savings and lower anxiety around paying bills. The unpredictability of my method of payment meant there were times I overspent, times where I didn’t have enough money to cover the bills that were due in the next week or times where I didn’t have enough money to do the activities I wanted to do.
Once again, prioritize top one, two or three sub-areas of focus.
There are two options for the next step. Option one is to create a very basic plan without too many details. For me, that meant creating a rudimentary budget that included all my bills and major expenses with dates. This does not have to be perfect—it’s a first draft so it’s meant to be edited. I also find it helpful to have a list of other task, like calling the bank.
The second option is to have a breakdown. This is incredibly important—one of the most common causes of procrastination is avoidance of negative feelings, so we must feel them before we get started.
I like to schedule my breakdowns for after I make a rough plan because then I have something to hold on to when I’m overwhelmed. If looking at my credit card balance makes me feel bad about letting it get to that point, then I know that the financial advisor will help me make a plan to pay it off.
I’m still allowed to cry about it, though.
You can have as many breakdowns as you want. Don’t feel bad about it because it’s not helpful—you’re working on solving the problem, feeling bad about feeling sad is superfluous and useless. Let go of that shame, move forward with the knowledge that even if you don’t meet your own standards, you will meet them and that is good enough.
Throughout this process, remember to treat yourself with compassion. You may have made some mistakes, you might be disappointed in yourself, but remember: the way out of that is to make a plan and enact it. Forgive yourself for your mistakes, even if you knew better, there is no point to dwelling on the past, on what you wish you hadn’t done, beyond recognizing it to prevent it from happening again.
Now, after identifying focus areas and making a rough plan and crying, you can make a resolution. Making them too early in the process risks making such broad resolutions that they are impossible to follow. Resolutions should be specific goals, ideally ones where you can measure the progress.
If I had started the year with, “I must have better finances,” that would not have led to any improvement because that is not actionable. However, my goal was, instead, to make a budget that I stick to. I made that budget, sometimes stuck to it and sometimes did not. I tweaked it a lot in the beginning to better fit my lifestyle and also to meet certain goals, such as paying off my credit card by the end of the year. In order to pay off the credit card, I had to take certain steps: I made an appointment at the bank, learned what interest meant for me, what actual amount I would be paying off, how much I must pay out of each paycheque and how to understand my credit score. I went on to make a schedule to make sure my bills are actually paid (I don’t always stick to it, but it’s there and I adhere to it as closely as I can) and to track my credit score on an app.
Emotions are a major part of this process. Of course, there is the breakdown mentioned earlier, but success in these specific goals has a great emotional impact. When I don’t feel good about something, even if it isn’t related to my finances, I can look at my banking app to see that the amount of money I owe has gone down. A couple months ago, as I was going through a particularly rough time, I took a screenshot of the graph portraying my credit score rising and made it my phone’s wallpaper. Even though my stressors at the time were not at all related to finances, it helped me continue maintaining faith in myself because there was evidence that I am a good person and that I am reliable and competent.
These goals are incredibly personal. I am nothing if not an oversharer, so my support group knew everything—what my budget looked like, what I cried about, what the bank people said. You may not be as open, but having an accountability group is incredibly helpful, especially where everyone has their own goals that they are working toward. Don’t be afraid to share with your friends and also strangers you meet on the street that you are on a self-improvement arc; who knows, they might end up helping you or you them.
A year later, as I look forward to 2026, I am able to build off those previous resolutions. I am reflecting on what is still unsatisfactory, but also on what I have changed and how I have grown. Although I had many breakdowns this year, I haven’t had any while I make these resolutions (so far).
Remember, this is a marathon. Have compassion for yourself; be honest with what you need to change, but don’t dwell on your shortcomings such that they remain and you never break those cycles. If you are working toward being better, you are already good enough.
And if you’re sad about something, cry about it and then move on.
Happy New Year!
#2025 #2026 #characterDevelopment #compassion #creditCards #EditorSNote #emotionalGrowth #emotions #goalSetting #HarleenKaurDhillon #KristySerpa #mainCharacterEnergy #mentalBreakdown #newYear #personalFinance #personalGrowth #Resolutions #selfImprovementArc #selfCompassion #selfImprovement #SelfLove