i feel like a large part of the disconnect between #opensource developers and general users is that, when someone designs and codes a program as a hobby rather than as work, they see it more like a piece of art
they want the code to be well-structured, where different parts interact exactly how they should without "hacks" or "kludges"
(while this is also desirable for any software project that wants to uphold its maintainability, when it comes to corporate proprietary software, other concerns tend to override it)
and so as a result when users complain about a lack of a feature that, from a user's perspective, should be easy to implement (after all, the competitors have it!), the developer gets really annoyed if they know that implementing it will make the overall code uglier or break whatever "promise" the system is supposed to have, and attempts to express that come across as lazy excuses
i think this also explains why the open-source world engages in complete redesigns a lot more (alsa -> #pulseaudio -> #pipewire, hal -> udev, #x11 -> #wayland, etc.) -- the developers don't want to break whatever they've already designed and, recognizing that the old thing fails at certain things in ways that would be "ugly" to fix, would rather make something completely new
