#OutOfBodyExperiences

I’ve been on Mastodon for 6 months, just changed servers, and — given the prevalent “this is it” feeling of other Twitter castaways this week — it feels a good time to re-re-introduce myself.

I am a survivor of clergy sexual abuse from Greater Boston — I was one of them kids. My writing sprouts rhizomatically from there and then through autofiction based on 16 years of dream-journaling, episodic dissociation, recalls of abuse, alcohol addiction and recovery, a sensitivity to ephemera and eternal return.

Following a stroke 12 years ago I became a certified personal trainer. Further into recovery I co-hosted wellness seminars for fellow survivors of sexual abuse. Ambulatorily-disabled upon being hit by a 65+mph car 5+ years ago, I now walk with the assistance of a shillelagh. I continue to train in San Miguel Eskrima.

I’m on social media primarily out of concern over COVID and fascism. A recluse, offline I keep to myself. But I’ve also never met a stranger.

...

Interests & Concerns: #Beckett #Camus #MaggieNelson #PattiSmith #Deleuze #DeleuzeAndGuattari #SituationistInternational #Semiotics #Semiotexte #JudithButler #cptsd #nonbinary #demisexual
#ClergySexualAbuseSurvivor #ClusterHeadaches #Stroke
#zazen #QiGong #Eskrima #dissociation #NearDeathExperiences #OutOfBodyExperiences #SleepParalysis
#Kanashibari #DreamJournaling #autofiction #anarchism #antifascism #AntiCapitalism #ACAB #JapaneseCinema #Oshima #JeanLucGodard #Osaka #Berlin #BuenosAires #StillMasking #AmbulatoryDisability #kettlebell #BodyweightCalisthenics
#chess
#MonoNoAware #WabiSabi

...

“Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try again. Fail again. Fail better.” — Samuel Beckett

"Life, willing to surpass itself, is the good life, and the good life is the courageous life." — Paul Tillich

"All suffering is formative of the identity that endures it." — Catherine Malabou

"To make trouble was, within the reigning discourse of my childhood, something one should never do precisely because that would get one in trouble. The rebellion and its reprimand seemed to be caught up in the same terms, a phenomenon that gave my first critical insight into the subtle ruse of power: the prevailing law threatened one with trouble, even put one in trouble, all to keep one out of trouble. I concluded that trouble is inevitable and the task how best to make it, what best way to be in it." —Judith Butler

"‘Everything develops, and I myself develop as well; and why this is so will one day be apparent,’ was the formula I was obliged to adopt." — Tolstoy

"I feel that it is necessary and ordained that I should be alone, a stranger and an exile in relation to every human circle without exception." — Simone Weil

"At that stage in a piece of writing where people used to look for explanations, I would like them from now on to find a settling of scores." — Raoul Vaneigem

"The only two things that motivate me and that matter to me are revenge and guilt." —Elvis Costello.

"There is a battle going on, more or less conscious, between Duty and Desire. The part of me which belongs to the world wishes to do its duty : the part of me which belongs to God wishes simply to fulfill what is required and which is un-stateable." — Henry Miller

“I do not believe in God and I am not an atheist.” — Albert Camus

HandgunYoga (he/him/his)HandgunYoga@mastodon.world
2023-01-05

#introduction, cont’d

My #Spiritual path has included #Addiction, #Codependence, and #Recovery, #Depression and thoughts of #Suicide, luckily punctuated my #OOBE #OutOfBodyExperiences proving to me anyway #AstralTravel is real.

I’ve practiced #Channeling, am a #ReikiMaster-Teacher able to Initiate others, former volunteer w #DistantHealingNetwork

I’ve been a moderator for #SelfInjury support groups, made a lot of friends diagnosed #DID and suspect I’m #Multiple too.

James BeanSantMat
2022-03-31
2019-05-23
Die To Live: Meditation -- Living a Spiritual Life -- This Time Through

Die To Live: Meditation

"The Sant Sat Guru, out of His grace, impresses upon all to engender love in the Feet of the Lord, who is all the time present within everyone. He enjoins upon them to proceed inwards by the practices of Surat Shabd Yoga [Inner Light and Sound Meditation], which they should perform, as far as they can, with all sincerity and love in this very life, and thus make it easy to some extent to traverse the path which they will have to tread at the time of death, and thus see things with their own eyes."

-- Huzur Maharaj Rai Saligram, Prem Patra Radhasoami, Volume One:
https://archive.org/details/PremPatraRadhasoamiPart1/page/n271

Living a Spiritual Life

"No mission is of greater importance to a person than the awareness of his own consciousness, the profound significance and purpose of his existence on earth and to find out the path for ultimate bliss, eternal happiness and cheerfulness i.e. the quest for truth." -- Quote from the Shabd Pratap Ashram website associated with the mission of the younger brother of Soamiji Maharaj: Pratap Singh Ji Seth (Chachaji Maharaj)

This Time Through

Mystic poem by a 16th century Master of the inner Light and Sound by the name of Sant Dadu Dayal of Rajasthan, who outlined the Sant Mat vision of a spiritual life to be pursued during our time here on planet Earth:

“Recognize the Path to your Beloved, O travelers
and take the route of the anguished lover in separation.
Keep the Master’s grace in your thoughts,
and reflect on his pure teachings.
Develop love and devotion with endearment,
and keep the thought of the Creator always before you.
Try to merge yourself into God like water in water.
Fix your mind within by following the Path of the Sound Current.
A yearning will arise; make then an intense and anguished call.
Repeat the Name of your Beloved,
day and night,
again and again.
With care in thought, word and deed,
you will cross to the other shore.”


#SpiritualSeeking #LifePurpose #Guidance #Spirituality #Meditation #Simran #PathOfTheMasters #ThePathOfTheMasters #Sants #DaduDayal #SantMat #Radhasoami #Radhaswami #SuratShabdYoga #InnerLightAndSound #MeaningOfLife #SpiritualGrowth #SpiritualProgress #Moksha #SpiritualLife #DeathBeforeDying #NDEs #OOBE #OOBEs #NDE #OutOfBodyExperiences #NearDeathExperiences #Consciousness
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